Pregnant student nurse

[Mitten123]

Hi everyone,

Myself (26) and my partner (31) have just found out I'm pregnant. We are guessing I'm around 6 weeks. I have cried constantly since finding out and feel so stressed.
I am a third year mh student nurse due to qualify next year, I have also booked my 2022 wedding 5 months ago and paid half of it off already. In addition to this we stay in a 1 bed flat have done for 6 years its cheap decent area and allowed us to spend our money on travelling car finance ect. So we don't have anything saved. We had planned to start putting money away for house deposit once I was qualified.
Bit of background me and my partner met 7 years ago and I fell pregnant within a few months of seeing each other we thought it was best to have a termination as I was quite young had just got my life back on track and we weren't ready for a baby. We didn't expect to be together and be planning a wedding 7 years later 😂 so we have spoke about having children but right now seems like the worst time to fall pregnant with everything I've said and obviously covid. I feel like all the old feelings from the termination are coming back stress guilt ect. My partner is happy about the pregnancy although very stressed. I just haven't stopped crying and feel awful about it I want to be so excited so much but my circumstances has left me feeling dread scared and stressed. I have almost completed 4 years to get my career and I know taking a year out isn't the end of the world but I just feel like a mess at the moment. Need a bigger house, need to find a job to get maternity pay and trying to pay off and organise a wedding.
Not sure what I'm looking for on here maybe just an outsiders perspective?
I've tried to rationalise everything and use my mental health skills to help me de stress but I end up feeling worse and feel some real talk is all you need. 😂Most people keep telling me I'll be fine but also these people are already married living at home ect 😂 thanks for any input

Would you have to take a year out ? What is ur uni's policy on pregnant students ? I know this maybe different with covid? They may find a way for u to qualify with ur cohort.
It's also early days you have time to think about what you want to do. If that means continuing with the pregnancy or not
Maybe sit down with ur partner and look at and work out what you would need/want to have a child like moving house, money etc xx

Tricky situation. I couldn’t imagine having an abortion for the 2nd time. Maybe it’s a blessing OP.

I’m slightly older (early 30s) but had a similar situation (down to an earlier contraceptive failure 11 weeks at the start) - except already married when pregnant second time. I’m due to quailfy next year as well. I was in my second year at the time.
It comes down to do you both want to have a baby next year. We were in a top floor studio with no lift we had just started saving for a house and thought baby won’t know it lived it’s first year in a small flat. We also looked at renting a bigger place and putting buying on hold but came to the conclusion we could get our own place quicker even thought it wasnt ideal. You might feel differently. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a MC with another 2 to follow, but currently in my third year and due imminently. We did manage to save for a house deposit - it’s a fixer upper. Is it the best timing (covid, final year nursing, unfinished home husband had to get a second job as his industry won’t be back til next summer etc) no but there will always be something. We realised we wanted children, and even though we were I incredibly stressed to start with as we found out just as lockdown started we made it work.
Plenty people postpone / scale down weddings right now and did before covid - might be fees involved but in grand scheme probably not as much as you think.
It’s scary and overwhelming but if you’re both honest with each other you’ll find what is th best decision for you. I’m aiming to be back on placement when baby is 8 weeks, uni are working with me. But both on understanding I can still defer if I realise it will be too much when they arrive.
It’s a totally personal decision but there is no wrong one.

I think nursing is one of the most demanding courses out there, the hours required make it hard to earn money alongside and most nursing students I speak to are already struggling to balance pressures of study and work with their own health so when unexpected stresses come on top it can feel really overwhelming. You are not a mess, you are just experiencing too many conflicting pressures and not enough support right now.

Have you contacted student support services? They should be able to help in terms of listening and informing you on options and potential financial support and arranging counselling which I would think is probably important when making such a big decision surrounded by so many pressures and perhaps still processing your previous termination. Your personal tutor is another important person to speak to, whatever choice you make they may be able to make allowances for impact on grades or adjust deadlines for assignments or arrange interruptions of study. Uni seems really rigid but once you start speaking to humans they do tend to understand that reality gets in the way sometimes. They are not allowed to discriminate re pregnancy and I expect you will find them accommodating and supportive of however you decide to go forward from here. Be kind to yourself, make plenty of time to consider things, take up all the support out there, emotional, financial and anything else, and remember your feelings are as important as any of the various pressures and influences around you.

I’m a recently qualified nurse. On my course someone got pregnant in our first year had the baby and came back 2 weeks later! She did amazing but did have a lot of family support. It’s not impossible.

you would have finished your course by the time you are due. placements will risk assess you and put reasonable adjustments in place such as shorter shifts etc. Once you have your degree you have it.

You are not in the worse situation and I’m a big believer in things will figure themselves out. A baby is a huge change and a lot to figure out. Only you know if you can do this or not, try not to worry and take time to think about how you feel.

I had a friend in my cohort in a similar situation, she fell pregnant in our final year, she chose to complete all written assignments whilst pregnant and took a bit of time off when the baby was born, she then went back and completed her last 2 placements once baby was born. Uni were really supportive of her and really understanding! She's managed to finish the course but she's just taking a little bit of time off before starting her job! Communicate with your uni before making any decision and see what they can offer you? There is always help out there. I hope it works out for you xx