Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Really struggling with decisions surrounding pain relief - anyone else?

55 replies

IGetIt · 11/12/2020 12:48

Anyone else struggling deciding on what they want to do in this respect. I appreciate it can't be set in stone anyway but I am being asked to look into and make some provisional decisions for my birth plan.

At first I was all 'ill have anything and everything, epidural etc...'

But the more I read about it, I'm just not sure.

The main concern with the epidural seems to be the possible side effects of longer labour, higher risk of needing assisted delivery etc...

I just don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 11/12/2020 12:49

Say you're open minded and then see what happens on the day. I've done that twice. First time needed a spinal and prep for potential emcs. 2nd time just gas an air.

Wolfiefan · 11/12/2020 12:51

Don’t decide yet!
My birth plans were always along the lines of I would like to try. And I would rather.
Don’t rule out things now.

goalpostmover · 11/12/2020 12:54

I decided against pethidine as I'd heard it could slow labour but I had an epidural with my first (would've married the guy that did it at the timeGrin).

It's impossible to know how you'll take the pain until it happens and also how long it will take so try not to think it needs to be set in stone.

I originally would've liked to be in the pool but my BMI was too high by the end to do that.

WhyDoesItAlways · 11/12/2020 13:03

I went with the wait and see approach. I basically had paracetamol and when the pain became too much went for gas and air then when it was too much (and needed sleep) had diamorphine. When I finally decided I was in enough pain for an epidural it was too late and the baby was on the way.

What I'm saying is it's impossible to know now what you will want or need at the time. Go with an open mind and an idea of what you would really like to avoid having and go from there.
The midwife at the birth can also advise as you go.

Tinacollada · 11/12/2020 13:07

You won't know until you're in labour ...

user1493413286 · 11/12/2020 13:08

I honestly wouldn’t stress too much or try to make decisions otherwise you might be setting yourself up to be upset afterwards if it doesn’t go how you’d like.

helloxhristmas · 11/12/2020 13:10

Don't decide.

Shelby30 · 11/12/2020 13:16

Just put in your notes your open to pain relief and want to see how you get on. You don't have to make any decisions yet.

Think my birth plan was one sentence and only coz they made me write something! I wrote something like I would consider an epidural for pain relief.

Essexgirlupnorth · 11/12/2020 13:18

Best advice I got during pregnancy from a midwife who told me to keep an open mind about pain relief because it was my first and had no experience of what labour pain would be like.
I wasn't keen on having an epidural and was on the midwife led unit so wasn't an option without moving. Used a tens machine in early labour then gas and air. Had a very slow labour so midwife recommended pethidine which I hadn't been keen on before hand but let me sleep for bit to get my energy back to push.
Though if you want a epidural have an epidural though they don't always work.

boymum88 · 11/12/2020 13:40

Think it's just a good idea to look at the different options now so ur informed. You don't have to make any decisions until the time and the medical team are their to help and advise you so I wouldn't worry. Every persons pain threshold is different so what works for one person may not work for u

RidingMyBike · 11/12/2020 13:41

I put that I wanted all the options to be available to me and when I asked for them (rather than some midwife denying me by getting me to wait longer). I also knew there may be a delay getting an epidural depending on timing - in the event I asked in the early hours for pethidine and asked how long am epidural would be, the answer was at least an hour (early hours of Sunday morning!) so I got the midwife to request the epidural at the same time as getting the pethidine - reasoning that I could always turn down the epidural when it became available.
The pethidine didn't do much but the epidural was AMAZING! The first one didn't work properly so I asked for a second and that made it all so much more positive. I had a button to press to boost it so could control it, and they lifted the effects slightly when I was ready to push so I could feel the urge. It meant I was so much more rested and able to deal with labour than the exhausting agony of earlier

Shield1990 · 11/12/2020 13:52

I'd say look into all the options and make sure you are aware of all the facts. I personally don't think it's a healthy or good idea going into birth thinking you will definitely do things one way or the other - every birth, baby and mum is different. Flexibility is hugely important, at the end of the day you don't get extra points for doing it naturally and dealing with the pain all by yourself. I'm more of a drug me up doc sort of person. But the key thing is you are happy and comfortable. Do what works for you xx

DinosaurGrrrrr · 11/12/2020 14:16

How are you going to know until you are actually in labour? By all means do the research and read about the pros and cons but I don’t really understand why you are trying to decide now? Sometimes you don’t actually have a choice, if things go tits up and you end up with forceps you’ll have an epidural in most cases anyway. I didn’t actually make a birth plan I didn’t really see the point, my attitude was to go with the flow. I had gas and air and said before if it got so bad I’ll move onto diamorphine, it did get bad and so I took it. My baby was stuck though and I was informed I’d be taken to theatre for an epidural and forceps, not what I had in mind! I was lucky I managed to push my baby out just as they were about to wheel me off. What I’m trying to say is don’t get too bogged down trying to decide what you are going to do, until you are there you can’t really know what you are deciding (or even if you’ll really get the choice!).

Original poster
IGetIt · 11/12/2020 14:21

Thanks. I've just been getting a bit of pressure from my midwife to 'decide'. I think as others have said I'll just put something in the notes about being open to all and then go from there!

OP posts:
DinosaurGrrrrr · 11/12/2020 14:42

Seems odd she’s asking you, I’ve never made any sort of birth plan, no one ever mentioned I needed one (you don’t), it’s more just be familiar what is on offer rather than deciding and writing it down. I’ll be going with the flow once again when I have my 3rd child in a couple of months.

Ohalrightthen · 11/12/2020 14:45

Often, you need to decide in advance because your pain relief choices can dictate where you can give birth. If you want an epidural, you'll need to be in a hospital. If you don't want one, you can be in a Midwife Led Birth Unit, and the midwives will push you to choose this.

Ohalrightthen · 11/12/2020 14:47

Sorry, i should specify that for an epidural you need to be in a hospital with an obstetrics department. Not all hospitals have one.

For me, i had a choice of Hospital A, with no option of an epidural, or Hospital B, where i could have an epidural. I picked B and had an epidural after 15 hours.

This was always my plan, i was raised by doctors and if there's pain relief on offer I'll always take it. There aren't any medals for unnecessary suffering.

Wolfiefan · 11/12/2020 14:49

Some things you do need to decide in advance. If you’re desperate for a home birth or water birth that may need some planning. Or hiring a TENS.

Marshy86 · 11/12/2020 14:52

Also one to remember if you have the epidural you control it with a button so it's up to you how much you use it,

Marshy86 · 11/12/2020 14:56

Sorry pressed post to soon, have a look into an NCT antenatal class. They're online at the moment but cover most aspects of pain relief which we found very useful. Be aware if you decide you want the epidural too late into labour you may be told there is no time to get it also handy having the line in already if you need to go into surgery.

Helenknowsbest · 11/12/2020 16:24

I second @Tinacollada you never know till you're in labour. I wanted to go with as little pain relief as possible, in the end I had everything Grin

passthemustard · 11/12/2020 16:55

Downsides of the epidural are needing a catheter, being bed bound, extended stay in hospital (as in you'll need to stay in a bit longer than 2 hours after you give birth), it's weird pushing when you can't feel the contractions. Upsides are you can't feel the contractions!

Pethidine makes you and the baby sleepy but can be good if you need a rest in a long labour.

Gas and air is fab for giving you a distraction, I'm not sure it helped the pain but gave me something to focus on during each contraction. Downsides it makes a good few people nauseous.

HungryHippo20 · 11/12/2020 17:06

I'm the same @IGetIt so I'm following with interest!!

Like you I am less inclined to want epidural due to slower labour and more chance of assisted birth but as everyone else is saying I am trying to keep an open mind, knowing that it will change on the day!

I don't think there's any harm in being educated though, so we know our options 😊

mariebaby3 · 11/12/2020 17:24

Don't stress too much about it at this stage. Everything went out of the window for both of my labours, so much so that I'm not doing a birth plan next time. My 1st i didn't want an epidural, but ended up having one and lots of pethidine. 2nd i wanted all the pain relief but there was no time so gave birth with nothing.

Helenknowsbest · 11/12/2020 17:25

Can I just say my epidural didn't slow anything down for me. Different for everyone x

Swipe left for the next trending thread