Help, is this normal???

[Bluefairy88]

Hi everyone,

This is my second pregnancy - sadly in my first we had to terminate at 13 weeks as baby had severe defects.

I am now 7+6 and feel AWFUL. I didn’t experience this the last time & I just don’t know what is normal. I feel constant nausea, feel tired & kind of numb - and cold all the time and shivery, just a feeling of being ill I guess, but no temperature or anything like that, so I’m guessing it is all just pregnancy symptoms? I feel like I cannot function normally at all and feel so pathetic.

I met a friend who was pregnant the other day and she said she has felt fine so far, no sickness, no tiredness. I just can’t believe that could even be possible. I’m bored out of my mind, yet I’ve no energy to do anything and just feel like a complete slob and when I try to get up or go out, the nausea feels so extreme & relentless, it’s all I can do not to cry this evening.

Am I the only one? Is this all normal?

I’m sorry to sound so moan-y. I’m unbelievably grateful to be pregnant again, I guess I just feel really overwhelmed with all of these symptoms I’ve not experienced before.

So sorry to hear about your experience in your first pregnancy. That must have been so hard 😟 congratulations on your new pregnancy though! I remember feeling like you in the first trimester, completely ill with nausea and feeling like I could function but also worrying that I was being pathetic and that I should be handling it better. Worrying that other people maybe felt the same but were somehow capable of soldiering on. Thankfully I was in a Facebook group and lots of others started to feel really unwell and started taking time out from work etc, so I stopped feeling so guilty. Everyone's pregnancy is different, there are some people who breeze through but a lot more people suffer during this phase you're in and it definitely is normal.

It doesn't mean you have to soldier on though! Many of those on the Facebook group got anti-sickness medication and this personally helped me sooo much and I'm pleased I didn't delay in getting this. If you're struggling with nausea this is something you could consider. Again, I wondered if I was 'unwell enough' to get this mediation but it seems that so many take it and it's harmless so why not! It was a game changer for me. I also removed all the pressure to keep the house nice, and took all the time out from real life that I needed. I confided in my manager too which helped to ease some pressure there.

I promise you will come out the other side of this soon and this phase will be a distant memory but definitely make sure you do everything you can to make it as easy as possible for yourself!

I'm 17 weeks now and just starting to feel much better. Last pregnancy I was working and got through 1st trimester by going to bed as soon as I got home (around 5:30-7pm). I was so exhausted and felt sick all the time, but I did manage to struggle through work with no time off.

This pregnancy, I'm not working and have an 18 month old. I felt constantly sick again, which is just horrible, but the biggest thing I've felt is that I just can't find the energy to do anything. All I've wanted to do is sit on the sofa and I've felt awful that I just struggled so much to even play or want to interact with my toddler.

Everyone's pregnancy is different: some people are fine, some find it tough but manage to struggle through and others get it so bad that they need medication for sickness and hospital stays- so definitely speak up to a doctor or midwife if you are unable to cope.

I tried explaining to my husband that (for me) it's just like that hangover day after a big night out- tired, feeling or being sick, just want to eat crap (and can't be bothered to cook anything), happiest horizontal in bed, have zero motivation to get up and do anything, want to nap all the time. The difference is that with a hangover, you know you'll feel better after a good night's sleep, but with pregnancy you know you're going to wake up the same tomorrow - which I found really tough mentally.

For me, it's started around 7 weeks and it's lasted until 16 weeks in both pregnancies, and in my last I felt really good at 25 weeks. But I know lots of people feel a lot better by 12 weeks.

Good luck!

@sld45 - thank you so much for taking the time to write. I’m the same with the house work- plates are currently piled up in my sink, it’s horrendous- I would never normally leave stuff... I guess I’ve just got to try and get used to this, but it helps to hear I’m not the only one (not that I wish the suffering on anyone else) but was really starting to feel like it’s just me not being able to cope. I didn’t know anti-sickness meds were available, thanks so much for mentioning this! I have my booking appointment with the midwife next week, so I’ll ask her about it- the sickness really feels unbearable. Thanks so much for posting :-) xx

@agradecida - thanks so much too! I also am working full time- 9-6, but thankfully I’m home based due to Covid... I don’t think I would have been able to cope going in to the office. At least at home I can have regular breaks. Everything you have said I am experiencing exactly the same, and you are so right- it is JUST like a hangover. A horrendous ongoing hangover. My eating has been terribly unhealthy too. When I found out I was pregnant I thought I would be so healthy ... now naive was I!! I’m sorry it was so tough for you too, but I’m also relieved to hear someone else who has felt the same as me. I’m glad you’re feeling better & hope I will do soon too! Thanks for messaging xx

I completely agree with the hangover reference! I found this a great way to explain people how it felt cos I think almost everyone can relate to that and start to understand just how awful it feels. Like PP said as well, it's the mental toll is takes just as much as the physical, knowing you have day after day of that. But remember you will come out the other side and will probably have good days and bad days along the way.
The anti-sickness I had is cyclizine so you could ask about that. It was almost instant relief. Still had nausea but much less intense and could etc and drink again!

Yes I agree! I think I’ll use the hangover analogy too if I need to explain to anyone! And yeah, the feeling of knowing when you wake up it’s going to start all over again. At the moment, the minute I wake I feel dread and try my hardest to go back to sleep so I can get some respite from the nausea! Oh that’s great on the medication recommendation, thank you - I will definitely mention this. Oh how wonderful it would be to have something to ease this nausea!

I was feeling sick plus generally grotty throughout my second pregnancy.
Completely normal pregnancy and a lovely healthy baby at the end. 30 years ago now!
I do hope you find this note encouraging and "normalising."

Thanks @IvysMum12 yes, certainly nice to hear that it’s all normal, I was starting to get really down- nice to hear from other people who have experienced similar x