Sick of hearing I'm small!

[cat709]

Hello Ladies,
I'm 30 weeks and all I hear from friends and strangers is 'gosh you're small.'
I've had my belly measured top to bottom by the midwife and I'm at the right length.
Has anyone else had this subjection by people and it's made them feel meh? Or anyone 'feel' small at roughly my week+ ?
I feel like screaming that my belly is fine and to leave me be, but it still bothers me when I'm on my own (naturally, as pregnancy seems to be all about hidden worries!).
Xx

“I feel like screaming that my belly is fine and to leave me be”

Are they saying they think the baby isn’t fine?

Because I think it’s supposed to be a compliment...

It's definitely a compliment, they're saying that you still look trim despite the baby - rather than having eaten nothing but biscuits for 7m and ballooned!

You don't look particularly small to me for 30 weeks.

I don't mean anything bad by that either by the way...

I think it's a way of saying "you don't look fat", they think it's a compliment. I had the opposite- people looking at me and saying with a knowing smile "twins!". In the end I would just say yeah as I couldn't be bothered to argue with people that thought they knew better. Or I'd get the "omg you're huge! You'll be dropping soon!"

I had this as well and I hated it, comments like ‘you’re barely even showing!’ and ‘you don’t even look pregnant’ as well. I didn’t read them as compliments they just made me feel as self-conscious as ‘you’re massive!’ comments would. Unfortunately people seem to think it’s ok to comment on your body when you’re pregnant so you just have to ignore.

I think you've got a lovely neat bump, people are probably trying to be kind, I don't think there's any malice there.

It is frustrating OP. Are you tall by any chance? I was measuring small during my pregnancy so had additional scans (baby was actually 75th centile so bump was just small). I was constantly being told that I couldn’t be as pregnant as I was. It was probably not helped by my job in healthcare. I had seniors asking me why I was on shortened shifts (9 hours instead of 13), why I wasn’t carrying the crash bleep and why am I going off on maternity leave early. I repeatedly had to point out how far along I was. Always met with surprise and a sudden oh don’t rush round the department then.

Don't worry - I get the opposite - wow you're
Huge! But then again I'm having twins 🤣 just ignore them they aren't medical professionals to be commenting on whether a bump looks "healthy" or not x

I was tiny on my first and got that a lot. It didn't really bother me, I think it was meant as a complement even though I had no control over it! My poor SIL got asked repeatedly if she was pregnant with twins all the time and it really upset her.

@Moonandstars25 I do have a long back, which might be contributing to looking long but not wide. Your situation sounds frustrating too!

@ivfbeenbusy you're right! I think because I'm stuck inside most of the time, that when I do go out, the comments play on me.

All the other comments - thank you, you're all probably right and they're just trying to be nice. Let's hope my belly widens with all the Christmas food :)

Xx

Try not to worry - everyone is different, I had no bump at all, I had a spray tan 2 days before my LSCS (don't ask, I was completely bonkers!) & the lovely lady asked if I was going out that weekend. I was naked except for my underwear 😂. DD arrived at just under 8lbs 2 days later. Your bump is lovely, unfortunately everyone has an opinion and seems to forget their words can be really hurtful, try not to let them spoil this special time for you.

I got the opposite, Wow you're huge are you sure theres only one in there, type stuff. It's just the way your carrying, my huge one was very much like a beachball up my jumper, didn't look pregnant from behind. Out came one baby and a small one at that.

One you hit the last trimester people seem to think you’re fair game for comments. I’m getting all the you must be about ready to drop comments and I’m 33 weeks tomorrow. Try to ignore them. I’m quite grateful for this pandemic in a way as when I had my first everyone seemed to think they had touching rights to my belly during the last few weeks

We had DHs friends come for lunch and the wife physically recoiled when I opened the door... apparently I was much bigger than she was expecting. Later on the same day she asked me if the midwife had spoken to me about how big I was. ( I was within normal ranges). To add insult to injury a bit later I recounted this tale to a table of about 14 relatives on Christmas Day and promptly burst into tears. Pregnancy hormones.... gotta love ‘em.

Im 30 weeks on friday and ive barely a bump there! Im still in my size 10s and 12s and yes everyone says i dont even look pregnant. It can be annoying but has anyone else felt a bit dissapointed or let down that there not big. When i found out i was pregnant i imangined having a bump there and being able to bond with the bump i suppose i can still do it but sometimes i feel silly cos its like im just stroking my normal belly. The only way id know i was pregnant now is the kicks she has.

@Oneandabean and I bet as each week passes, you'll get asked constantly on whether you're feeling like the baby is coming early & any signs...! X

@Divebar that's awful to ask if you've run your size past your midwife!!!! X

@cat709 definitely, I’ve got another 4 weeks left in work and I work in retail so everyone has an opinion. Unfortunately pregnant women’s bodies seem to be open to public discussion. With my DD I got told be some that I was huge and others that I had such a small neat bump. People are a**holes, just smile and nod 😁

Definitely take it as a compliment!

It will be much easier to get back to your previous size with a nice small bump.

Everyone was gobsmacked at how small my bump was at full term, they said the baby was measuring small too, and out popped and 8.1 baby.

I had this too through two pregnancies, (except from MIL who kept commenting on how much I was "expanding" ). As others have said I'm sure it is meant as a compliment, but I always found it intrusive and rude as well. I remember one friend (who's got slight body image issues and is a bit obsessed with looking thin) asking me if I was sure the baby was ok because I was looking "so small". She definitely thought she was being complimentary but I found it pretty annoying! I think best just to ignore OP. (Babies both perfectly fine and normal size by the way - in my experience size of bump is not a good indicator of size of baby as there are so many other variables).

I think people just feel the need to make a comment sometimes. I'm 32 weeks and bump is pretty small in comparison to most others at this stage but the comments (that I didn't ask for) vary from those telling me my bump is 'neat' and 'tidy' to others who tell me 'you're gonna be huge if you're that big now'. I'm not very sociable and I certainly don't invite this kind of attention with my face or manner!! I just appreciate the 'you're looking well' comments and move on :)

my first baby lay with her back down my spine or horizontal with her back at my back. made me look very small (although rather wide and a bit odd when she used to stretch one leg out when horizontal...)

second lay more normally and I looked enormous.

So I had both too small and too big comments.

@MamaToBeOMG

Im 30 weeks on friday and ive barely a bump there! Im still in my size 10s and 12s and yes everyone says i dont even look pregnant. It can be annoying but has anyone else felt a bit dissapointed or let down that there not big. When i found out i was pregnant i imangined having a bump there and being able to bond with the bump i suppose i can still do it but sometimes i feel silly cos its like im just stroking my normal belly. The only way id know i was pregnant now is the kicks she has.

Yes, sounds silly but I was really disappointed at not having the ‘proper’ big bump with my first pregnancy, so I think that’s why it always stung when people exclaimed at how I wasn’t even showing and didn’t look pregnant. I was a lot bigger with my second baby and really enjoyed having an obvious bump and the experience of ‘looking’ properly pregnant, needing maternity clothes etc (although it did take much longer to ‘snap back’ after the birth lol)

People love to comment on bumps. My bump measured small but I got lots of comments about how big I was. Bump size doesn't necessarily relate to baby size either I measured on the 10th percentile and she was born on the 60th!