16month age gap ish

[mrssunshinexxx]

Those of you who have one .,, how is/ was it.. honestly ? I'm tempted to just crack on and get the sleep deprivation hell over with whilst my first is already not sleeping, but I'm finding a few negatives popping up too

The main negative I can think of was 16-18 months was the time my first really started climbing and getting into things she shouldn't. I would have struggled to keep her safe while being stuck breastfeeding a newborn at the same time.

Thanks @SnuggyBuggy

I have a 15 month age gap between mine and it's was tough for a good while. However, they're now 3 & 4, and it's getting easier on a daily basis and I really love their close age gap as they play with each other and share everything.

There was a point, when they were 2 & 3 that I hardly went anywhere by myself with them. I had a very small soft play I would go and a local farm park, and that was it for about 18 months. It was just too stressful as they'd run off in different directions! 🤦‍♀️

I felt very guilty when lots of friends were going to exciting places, 'creating memories', but to be honest none of those children remember going to the places and it's more about getting photos for the parents than the child memories. Now when we go to these places they will remember it and have fun.

My youngest are 15 months apart and are 1 and 3 now. It was hard at first, trying to entertain a 15 month old while looking after a newborn - my mum often came over and spent time with one so I could have one on one time with the other. They are the best of friends now and they are great at playing together and having fun. The 1 year old is so independent as she tries to keep with with the 3 year old. I love watching them together.

It definitely gets easier now they a little older!

Thanks @LittleMissBrainy @onetwothreeadventure my mum died this year 6 weeks before my baby was born so unfortunately as much as I wish I could rely on her for mental support she's sadly gone so I will be doing this on my own. My husband works offshore.
I just can't decide to stick with one or just go for it I don't want to get out of this slee deprivation stage then go back into it in a couple of years

So sorry you lost your mum OP. that must be really hard.
Do you have a good support network around you? Not necessarily for babysitting, but somewhere you can take the children while you chat? I had very little babysitting help, but I could take them to my sisters and friends houses, where they could play with different toys and I could have grown up chat and another pair of eyes watching them with me.

I think age makes a bit difference to. I'm now 44, and really glad we are starting to get a full nights sleep again. I think I'd struggle much more if I had a young baby now. Whereas 10 years ago, it would have been much easier.

I should also point out that my children are adopted, which although brings its own struggles, I never had to deal with a new born and a young toddler as number 2 came to us at 7 months. However it was definitely a lot easier before number 2 could walk!!

I do get what you mean about not wanting to get too far out of the sleep deprived state. If it had taken me too long to have number 2 I'd have probably thought sod that for a game of soldiers.

2-3 years can be a nice compromis if you want to stay in the zone but not have too small a gap

I have a 17 month gap between mine, my husband also works away offshore and we have very limited/no family support. Honestly, it was really really hard work by myself with a crying toddler and a newborn, especially in the middle of the night. I felt like I wasn't doing my best for either of them. We had to power through and I found it much easier when my husband was home.

But, they're now 3 and 4 and both potty trained, no pram and play gorgeous together so now it seems completely worth it.

18 months between my first two. The tricky part was the bee miserable DC2 in those first few weeks which we spent in parks. Once they were eating food the two DC did everything together, ate, played, slept etc until the end of primary years. I found it quite easy as they always had a companion and someone to play with

Our friends have two that are 14 months apart. Her husband works away a lot. She really, really struggled for the first few years. They're 4 and 5 now and she's just starting to come out the other side of it. Is there anyone that could help with childcare? Could you afford nursery for a few days per week? I don't have first hand experience, but my friend has said she wouldn't do such a small gap again if she could go back.

Watching for info as currently pregnant with baby #2 and DD is only 5.5 months old so will have a 13 month age gap.

@LittleMissBrainy thank you x
Family is complicated the short answer is no but I have some very good friends.
Having a baby has been a piece of cake compared to the grief it's debilitating at times but this is the hand I've been dealt and I just want to be as good of a mum to my baby as my mum was to me, she was amazing. I am 28 so I suppose age is on my side in terms of having more energy perhaps for a few years x

@LittleMissBrainy pressed send too soon, that is amazing that you adopted i truly think it's one of the best things you could ever do for another human. It is something me and my husband have discussed but I am not 100% sure or not. X

@Mommabear20 congratulations ! May I ask if you planned this x

I have a 17 month old and I'm 23 weeks pregnant. No idea whether it was a good idea or not.. time will tell

Thanks @sarahb083 some interesting responses. I wouldn't use a nursery (personal reasons ) would consider a childminder perhaps but I think If I thought I would have to pay for childcare to cope I would wait and have a bigger gap perhaps. MIL would have baby full time if she had her way but no she won't be helping with childcare. I have a very difficult family on both sides, my mum a complete diamond doesn't make any sense why she's the one I lost x

@Dogsorlogs @yikesanotherbooboo
Interesting and not surprising you say at the time how hard it was and that you felt you weren't doing your best ( I'm sure you were, mums are ace) can imagine the first year or so being really difficult.
there are so many unknowns , how long will it take me to get pregnant, will I have an 'easy' pregnancy, the birth (!) , would I have a relatively easy baby
Need to keep thinking x

I have 16 months between the first two and 17 months between my second and third and honestly it is the best thing. Hard yes. But I would do it the same again. They are so close (despite the squabbles) and the older the get the easier it is, they entertain themselves more etc. I would go for it, good luck!

@spicyspringroll

The way I see it... either shit hits the fan now or later. I'm currently 6 months pregnant with my daughter and my son will be 20 months old when she is born. A part of me thinks at least I can get the baby thing out the way sooner.

@mrssunshinexxx yes fully planned 😁 the way we see it, it will be difficult to have a newborn with a 1yr old or a 3yr old, both ages would still need a lot of time and attention. At least this way, we get the nappies, bottles and lack of sleep over with in one long go, rather than coming back to it, and should we have days were we struggle and have an inevitable break down, our DD will be young enough to not remember the hard times. We know it's not all gonna be easy and it'll be exhausting but for us, it's the best option.