Ttc after stillbirth

[Piecrust32]

Hi all

Sorry if posting in the wrong place

Earlier this year we lost our twins one early on and the other at 27weeks

My other half has just brought up the subject of trying again,

Has anyone had their rainbow 🌈 after a loss , any advice ?

I'm keen to try again but apprehensive!

Many thanks for reading x

I am very sorry for your loss of your two babies Piecrust. My twins were stillborn at 27 weeks. I know how hard this must be for you. Life is just so unfair at times.

To answer your questions

I got pregnant again within 3 months of the twins birth using the sperm meets egg method as we were just desperate to have hope again/have living baby/babies/not feel like I wanted to die.

I was incredibly anxious when I found out I was pregnant again. Actually terrified, which I think is only natural. I found that the medical team and midwives were brilliant. I had extra scans and appointments and my pregnancy was classed as high risk again (even though it really wasn't). I had meetings with the medical team and was induced at 38 weeks. All went well and I now have a very healthy 4 year old. I have to say I did not enjoy my second pregnancy at all, didn't talk about it and took little joy in it. Afraid that it might not work. If you feel like this, be kind to yourself. I bonded with my baby just fine.

Now this might be tmi but none seems to talk about sex after stillbirth/ baby loss. I must say that we did not really enjoy having sex. It was functional and for one purpose. We were sad and there was nothing sexy about it. It was a chore. But sperm meets egg did the trick the first month we tried.

I am so glad we tried again so soon. I know people say to give it time but I am not sure a few extra months, even a year would have helped with how bad I felt. Being pregnant again did help me manage with the loss of my lovely boys and gave us hope again.

I say go for it and be kind to yourself.

No experience of this but didn't feel like I could read and not comment. I'm sorry for your loss

@Piecrust32 I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins. There is a very supportive thread on the conception boards here for those who are trying to conceive after loss - it's called the penguin huddle. I think they are at thread no 36 (not sure if this link will work) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4085222-penguin-huddle-thread-36-ttc-after-pregnancy-loss?pg=3

I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby after an early loss.

I’m actually a rainbow baby myself, my mum had a stillborn at 34 weeks in august 89, I come along June 90.. she was monitored extremely close with me.

Take the time you need, I’m sure there’s no right or wrong. I’m so sorry for your loss x

@Piecrust32 sorry to hear of your loss 💐

Whilst I haven’t been through your exact circumstances, I have lost a child soon after birth.

For me, I was so eager to hold a baby in my arms I began TTC as soon as I could and my 🌈 baby is now 5 years old with such a wild free spirit. I tried to focus on the positives whilst pregnant and not let worry consume me because the outcome might be different with each pregnancy. I would say I got monitored a lot more with my 🌈 pregnancy which does ease the mind.

Was there a medical issue which led to your losses or just a really crap situation?
To be apprehensive is understandable, but to be vulnerable and open to pursuing having more children with youR DH Is a great thing as whilst it could lead to further loss, it could also lead you to your 🌈!
Xx

Sorry for your loss. I second the recommendation for the penguin huddle threads they are very supportive. I had a stillbirth at 32 weeks in Jan 19 and then had DS in Dec 19. I had a specialist team at the hospital look after me very well.

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your little twins. I lost my first son at 34+3 back in 2010. Since then I've gone on to have 4 children. Because of my history I was always well looked after but it was emotional quite hard and the hospital appointments brought back a lot of painful memories. It's never going to be an easy decision to make but you must do what feels right for you

I'm sorry to hear your going through this, I lost our beautiful girl at 34 weeks 4 months ago, I'm now 9 weeks, as I thought it is the only way forward, there was no smiles or happy hugs when I found out, just deep breathes, I've had scan and I nearly cudnt get in the chair, the fear is awful I'm not sure how I'll get through, they have offered me lots of scans but still due to the virus I have to go alone which I can't really deal with so having to go private for the moment till I'm strong enough. I've not told anyone apart from dh, and will prob just hibernate all next year but I think it's the only way to move forward if that's possible. Goodluck, enquire about taking aspirin they told me to take it now as they say that's the only thing they recommend after a late loss but check with your Dr. Its such a tough road, your not alone take care xx