Help.... No sex drive in early pregnancy

[Hobbitsy]

Hi I wonder if anyone has any similar experiences to make me feel a little less awful.... My sex drive has been pretty low for a while (it's been a bit of a year) and I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with number two and I feel awful because I don't want my husband anywhere near me sexually... It makes me feel the same kind of nauseous that the thought of a glass makes me feel right now and it's really scary because he just wants sex and I should be happy he wants me but I just wish sex had never been invented right now (not just because I'm pretty terrified about having another baby) I want to be with him, I want to be close to him....I want cuddles but nothing sexual and I'm absolutely terrified this is it for us :(

You're not alone! Between nausea, exhaustion, early pregnancy hormones and goodness knows what else, loads of people have a reduced sex drive in pregnancy, especially the first trimester. My sleep has been so disrupted I've actually moved into a different room from my husband. Please try not to worry (easier said than done!) - there's nothing wrong with you! - and try to do what you can enjoy, if that's just a handhold or cuddle on the sofa then that's fine.

I hope your husband can be understanding. Can you find a quiet time to just talk to him and explain how you're feeling? No-one feels like sex when they're nauseous (he wouldn't either). Finding time to be physically close (cuddles/hugs etc.) will help as it'll show you both that you do love him and want to be close, but sex is too much to manage right now.

I'm 11 weeks and sex is the furthest thing from my mind, I feel knackered and nauseous not exactly a winning combination for getting in the mood. I was similar in my last pregnancy but we managed and once I got my periods back after birth my mojo returned and we got back to normal. I've been with my DH 10 years and pregnancy and newborn stage is a very small time period overall so it's not something I let worry me to much.

I’m 13 wks and we’ve had sex once since I found out I was pregnant at 4 wks. I am almost permanently nauseated + exhausted + had a miscarriage previously which started with post coital bleeding and yes I know It wasn’t because of the sex but it still frightens me. My husband has been very understanding- I know he misses sex but he knows not to push for it. To be honest it’s going to be a bit of a wasteland for him until I stop breastfeeding and I think he knew that when he signed on for this pregnancy (we have 3 kids already). Don’t feel bad. I think woman who have a high sex drive in pregnancy are very lucky but probably not that common. Xx

We've had sex twice since I found out and I'm 17 weeks - you're not alone.

My DH is super understanding - hand job? 😅🙈

I’m 32 weeks and had no sex drive all the way through. Tried it once which caused a post coital bleed and just haven’t bothered again. (Not for lack of DP trying) I’ve never had much of a sex drive so was hoping pregnancy might get it going a bit but nope it’s worse. Don’t stress about it, you’ve got enough going on.

Thanks for the reassurance... I'll give him what he wants by, erm, other methods this evening!! 😂😂

I was exactly the same. 1st trimester I did not want anything to do with sex! 2nd trimester is a different story though lol. They say in the 1st trimester your sex drive goes! In the second it will come back xx

Don’t be so bloody hard on yourself! Your body is growing a baby. This is totally normal, he’s not going to whither and die without sex for a while. He shouldn’t be pushing you and you should push yourself to do something you don’t want to. The desire will come back in a while, but don’t force it.

@Hobbitsy it's totally normal, I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant and only had sex once since finding out I was pregnant!