Scared I won't cope with 2nd

[Ladyk79]

Hi all,

Just found out I'm pregnant and whilst I am happy I'm very scared to the point it's causing anxiety and sleepless nights already.

I have dc1 who is 2.5 and my absolute world. We have been so lucky with him. I'm scared how I will cope with 2, how will I handle the sleepless nights again this time with a toddler too. Will I live the 2nd as much as the first? Will my relasionship and special bond with my first change? I'm in tears as it's tearing me apart.

I also suffered PND with my first and scared it may rear it's ugly head again

Congratulations! Sorry you are worrying so much. I didn't have pnd, but I did worry I wouldn't love my 2nd as much as my 1st and how would I cope. It's different to just having one, but you will cope. Think how you felt before you had your first, and now how you feel. Your bond won't change, they will always be you first and be special to you, but your next one will be special n a different way. Have you got plenty of support at home? Talk to your partner about your fears of write them down. I love both my boys in different ways as they are different people with different personalities. Try and relax and think of the positives. Good luck.

Thank for your comments, I have started to open up to my husband about my feelings. Feeling a bit better, as my husband said we can't be thinking of the if and buts, or we will never get anywhere and to enjoy what we have

I am in the same position. I am worrying and feel as though we may have rocked the boat and potentially ruined a nice life we were enjoying. DC1 is 2 now and we've really found our stride.

I don't have much advice to offer seeing as I feel the same as you. I'm just holding on to the fact that I will be happy once DC2 is born as I just want to 2, so I know I won't be going through this emotional turmoil again!

Hi,

I just read your post and posted something similar myself... little different to your situation I have a 6 month old baby 🙀...

I can't offer any advice as I feel exactly the same way but i am giving you a hug in the meantime x

Oh hun, sending hugs. I do feel for you.

I am in exactly the same position as you OP. PND with first baby and fear of rocking the boat with a second.

You got through it with number 1. You now have a wonderful bond and relationship. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that will help when things get tough - we know it DOES get better this time round whereas before it was hard to see the light.

Xx

Just wanted to say, I have a 2 and a half year old and a 10 week old. I had so many worries about rocking the boat and upsetting our life together but so far it is working out great!
I’ve found lots of the things I found difficult with my first just aren’t as big a problem as with my second for example breastfeeding and the sleepless nights. It’s not that it’s not difficult, more that you just don’t have time to dwell on it as need to keep going for the toddler. The baby just sort of has to fit in. It also helps that you’ve done it all before so every phase you know will pass sooner than you think.
I found the hardest part was being heavily pregnant with a toddler. I really wanted to continue to chase and run with him but just couldn’t. I felt terrible that we had to slow down so much in the last few weeks. I try to remind myself though that siblings can be playmates and friends for life. Some weeks of pain is worth a lifetime of gain!
Good luck with your pregnancies!

@dovegreylove sorry to hear you suffered to, it's awful going through it especially with the first and having no idea.

Thank you for your kind words. I have so many mixed emotions right now and feel guilty xx