Pets and single parenting

[swiftt]

Looking for some non-judgmental advice if possible. I have 2 cats, they’re my little fur babies and I’ve had them since they were kittens. They’re 4 and 5. They mostly prefer the indoors but they do venture out in the garden, however they still pretty much exclusively use their litter tray. They’re long haired cats and as such, cause quite a lot of mess. I have to hoover multiple times a day, and the cat litter trays obviously needs cleaned often.

Long story short, I need to move out of the place I’m in pretty much imminently. Trying to find a place that will accept the cats at such short notice is proving really difficult. I’ve found one, but it’s in a less than desirable area and also in a town where I don’t know anyone.

Trying to cut to the chase here. I’ll be a single parent when baby comes, and I’m already feeling nervous about how difficult it will be. Am I being an awful person to consider trying to find the cats another home? I’m terrified about how difficult life is going to be anyway, and the thought of a newborn plus 2 cats to look after isn’t helping. I don’t want to get rid of them for the sake of convenience as I do adore them and it will break my heart to rehome. I have found another flat in a town where I have friends and family, in a much nicer area, spacious etc, however they don’t accept cats.

Can I please have some rational, sensible advice? My head is an absolute mess trying to weigh up my options, and I just feel like a horrible person for even considering rehoming the cats...

Bump

We struggled with 2 of us and a dog and 2 cats but the dog was the main issue. And we only struggled for the first 2/3 weeks then we really got into a rhythm. Your main issues are going to be the hair everywhere and taking the litter tray out. (Btw you shouldn't be touch cat litter when you're pregnant so be very careful, bless you!)
Could you start to train them to do their business outside? No idea how to go about this but I'm sure google will tell you, and can they maybe stay in one half of the house for the first few weeks while you settle in? So they don't stress you out with the hair?
You'll get so many people slating you for considering getting rid but I don't blame you at all. You will manage but of course you want to make your life as easy as possible and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that x

It's your life! Do what is best in the situation and as for people who judge, there will be some no matter what you do.

Would a friend or family member maybe take them so you know where you have re homed them to? Or keep them for a year or so until u maybe move again ?
Also like other person said I shouldn't be dealing with cat poo, it's dangerous in pregnancy, so if u really have to clean the trays where gloves and make sure you wash ur hands

If I were you I’d rehome them. You’ve got enough on your plate without making life more difficult.

My DH works away and I really struggled with our son and my dog, it could all get a bit much some days.

Sorry you’re going through this 😞

My advice would be not to rush into any decisions about the cats just because you need to move soon. Is there any way you could stay with family or friends until you find somewhere the perfect flat? Or could someone you know take the cats in for you temporarily? Some charities or shelters near you might even take in pets short term until their owners can take them home again.

In my experience cats are fairly low-key pets so you might find that you get on fine when baby is born! If you do find it difficult then you can rehome them at that stage - and is absolutely no shame in doing that if it’s the best thing for you all!

I hope you are OK, it sounds a difficult situation. Be kind to yourself and I hope you have people to support you! Always happy to chat if you’d like 😊

I was hoping my parents would take them for now, but one of them has a history of using beds as somewhere to pee... which is another reason I’m thinking it may be most sensible to rehome them. At the moment, I have to ban them from the bedroom and the thought of these sort of potential accidents with a newborn around really upsets me. So my parents are naturally concerned that she will have similar accidents at their house, and they don’t want to take that risk. My other cat is quite special, he’s such a timid, anxious wee thing and he only really settles when I’m around. He needs to be on someone’s lap as much as possible. I worry that he just wouldn’t settle somewhere else. Even when I moved to this place, he spent the first 4-5 days sitting like a statue in the corner of the kitchen. It was horrible. I don’t want to uproot or stress them out any more than I need to.

Gosh, I feel like I sound so pathetic and dramatic now. But they really are my little babies. I never thought I’d be in this situation. My ‘big’ cat is the one with peeing issues, and she’s been totally fine since having access to the outdoors. I could probably persuade my parents to take her, even as a trial to see how she got on. But they have a dog and more people in the house and my wee anxious one just wouldn’t cope there. He runs and hides if I sneeze or cough, and if someone new is in the house he really stresses himself out.

Do you have to tell a future landlord about the cats? Could you blame any damage on moving out on the baby?

@PurpleFrames it’s through an agency so I assumed they would do inspections etc. And I would hate to put myself in the position of breaching a contract and losing my tenancy or something whilst pregnant/with a newborn. The annoying thing is the better flat that states no pets is laminate flooring throughout, so what damage could they do really? I had the cats in my previous flat for 4 years and my previous landlord would give me a glowing reference. But I just don’t think they’ll budge with it being through an agency. I’m going to call them tomorrow to ask anyway.

It does sound hard, but (I may get a lot of backlash, but hey) would you rehome a bed-wetting kid? No. I would try this. Until such time you get a place where your cats can be with you, get the cats to your parents and if needs must keep them in a bathroom/spare room/somewhere easy to clean. In the short run it may be stressful but in the long run they will be back with their family after you get settled.

If you rehome, you are risking they will go from one hand to another because they sound like they are not super easy. I'd not want to risk it, but as I said, I treat all my animals and children just the same.

@ZooKeeper19 I’ve maybe made that sound worse than it is. She’s peed on my bed maybe 3 times in 5 years, it’s still 3 times too many but it’s not a massive thing. The issue my parents have is that they’ve heard me complaining about it and now can’t get the idea out of their head that that’s what she does. This also happened in a tiny 1 bed flat where she didn’t have access to the outdoors, but she seems much more content now that she has access to a garden and a larger house to run round in. That’s another reason why I worry about moving her back to a flat. She could still access the outdoors but it wouldn’t be as safe and I couldn’t coop her up indoors.

@swiftt ah tricky tricky. Maybe you'd get lucky finding her a home with a safe garden, but the 2nd one would be upset on his own perhaps?

It's not easy, we have 2 and a baby and another one coming but ours are fully indoors so simpler.

Whatever you do, as long as you keep the kitties safe and happy is the best solution, in the end!