Pregnant & panicking!

AlisonWhite · 2020-11-29T17:14:40+00:00

Hey all, Am I the only person that expected to be so excited to find out I was pregnant but instead I am filled with fear that I can't do the physical stuff and my life is going to be over!!! Just me? Xxx

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Doublebubblebubble · 29/11/2020 18:05

Nope not just you. Pregnancy is overwhelming! I'm assuming youre relatively newly pregnant, in which case congrats! I also know that you know that you want this. Being pregnant and being a mum is physical but you absolutely can do it. Its just a case of getting used to it. And you will.

ginandtonic80 · 29/11/2020 19:18

Not the only one!

I've spent most of my life not wanting kids and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant with my first at age 39. I met a really great man a year or so ago and he has always wanted kids. I guess I didn't fully change my mind about my reasons so much as decide to open my mind up to an alternative future from the one I'd pictured, decide to let go some of my fears and take a leap of faith based on my trust in our relationship and knowing he'll be a wonderful dad and partner.

Now I'm having some crack of dawn anxiety spirals in the morning darkness - proper existential angst stuff!

We're also in the process of buying a house and moving an hour away from where we currently live (and further away from my sisters). My parents also live overseas and are elderly so may not be able to visit when the baby is born unless a vaccine is sorted.

So lots of big things going on- as if pregnancy wasn't big enough! And I'm definitely having some oh god what have I done moments.

It's relieving to know I'm not the only one. :)

FTMF30 · 29/11/2020 19:23

Not alone. I'm pregnant with my second (not accidental) and I have a swirl of emotions. I think I have alot of fear because my memories of how difficult my 1st DC was in the first few months.

I also felt terrified when pregnant with my 1st but things got better after the first trimester. I guess it's hormones coupled with the reality that bringing a life into the world and caring for something so fragile is terrifying. It's a big change. A life-changing change.

Original poster

AlisonWhite · 29/11/2020 21:47

Gosh ladies thank you! I feel better already just reading your words! I am 36 and also didn't think I wanted children but also couldn't imagine not having them which sounds silly. I met a lovely man and we decided to try. It has happened first month so I'm a little shell shocked.
Can we keep chatting? Somewhere to release those fears with no judgement?
Thanks again for replying xxxx

OP posts:

HappyDaze90 · 29/11/2020 21:55

First pregnancy here and I am terrified. I’m trying not to show it too much to my partner as he’s just on cloud nine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy we’re having a baby. But I’ve never been maternal... I’m not sure I’ve ever even held a newborn before. I never really thought I’d have kids, despite wanting one, I guess I feel a bit selfish as I’m scared of losing my independence and having this little human who relies completely and utterly on me. I often lie awake at 6 in the morning wondering how I’m going to do everything a new mum needs to do. But I suppose a lot of women feel the same way and they seem to manage it fine.

We can do this!

FTMF30 · 29/11/2020 22:09

@AlisonWhite

Gosh ladies thank you! I feel better already just reading your words! I am 36 and also didn't think I wanted children but also couldn't imagine not having them which sounds silly. I met a lovely man and we decided to try. It has happened first month so I'm a little shell shocked. Can we keep chatting? Somewhere to release those fears with no judgement? Thanks again for replying xxxx

I'm with you with the shell shock. We got pregnant on the first try (with 2nd pregnancy) too. I sound ridiculous but I was actually filled with dread when I first found out and didn't feel ready. I cried and feso guilty because I know some people pine and try for a baby for so long and here I am, feeling far from grateful.

How far gone are you? I found I felt much happier and was able to embrace the pregnancy after the first scan when it became "real" and I could tell people and get more emotional support. Once I told people the news, many people would unknowingly say things to make me feel alot better. Before that, it's the added stress of things not being out in the open.

Tell your partner that your nervous and lean on him for support.

Original poster

AlisonWhite · 30/11/2020 07:45

Thanks ladies. I feel the same, overwhelmed, scared of losing the lovely life I have, feeling guilty. I am very early on so just hoping I will feel better soon.

Let's keep the thread and keep chatting. My partner is amazing and knows how I am feeling but I needed to find someone who felt the same xxxxxx

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strawbmilk · 30/11/2020 09:04

I've had 2 planned pregnancies & was hysterical both times I found out. Both happened very quickly so it was shock and a whirlwind of emotions and questions with no answers. My first pregnancy I took to my bed for a day. I always think what did DH think and how was he feeling but it was all about me. 😂 Second time I wasn't quite as hysterical but again shocked as it happened so quickly. I think we both knew I was pregnant for a few weeks but were in denial so didn't test for a few weeks.

Anyway...all the worries I had were nothing. You can't plan for any of it and can only deal with what is in front of you.

Our family is complete and in a way I'm sad I'll never be pregnant again!

Congratulations!

Original poster

AlisonWhite · 30/11/2020 09:21

Thank you @strawbmilk
Xxx

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MillyJS · 30/11/2020 09:48

I feel exactly the same! Sheer panic & thinking what on earth have I DONE. Completely planned and wanted, but it now feels very real and I'm only 6 weeks 🙈

FTMF30 · 30/11/2020 11:53

@strawbmilk

I've had 2 planned pregnancies & was hysterical both times I found out. Both happened very quickly so it was shock and a whirlwind of emotions and questions with no answers. My first pregnancy I took to my bed for a day. I always think what did DH think and how was he feeling but it was all about me. 😂 Second time I wasn't quite as hysterical but again shocked as it happened so quickly. I think we both knew I was pregnant for a few weeks but were in denial so didn't test for a few weeks.

Anyway...all the worries I had were nothing. You can't plan for any of it and can only deal with what is in front of you.

Our family is complete and in a way I'm sad I'll never be pregnant again!

Congratulations!

I can't wait until I get to that stage - 2nd DC arrived and content and happy to never get pregnant again.

Infact, I cant't wait until I stop with the doom and gloom of this pregnancy. It will arrive eventually but early pregnancy seems to do a number on my anxiety.