Partner against early scan

[Sonal876]

Hi 👋

Just wondering if anyone had really strong opposition from their partner regarding having an early scan before the 12/13 week NHS scan.
I had a miscarriage last year, we went for an early scan when I was 8w5d and the baby was fine but measuring under 6w, they just said I may have my dates wrong so I didn't worry too much, then I miscarried about one week after at home.

Looking back probably the dates were right but there was something wrong in the first place.

Now I'm again pregnant at 9w and I'm really struggling to wait until end of December for my NHS scan, I would like to have again an early scan just to know what's going on. My partner is really against this and thinks that it is bad for the baby to have too many scans, that we should wait. The BBC article that just came out about poor practice at these private scan facilities didn't help, and made me cancel the appointment I had.

I know I would just get a snapshot of what is there now and no reassurance for the future, but I think I would cope better with being nauseous and tired all the time if at least I knew what was going on.. even if the baby wasn't developing again I would rather know.. it is just 3.5 weeks until our NHS scan but it feels like eternity 😅 I come from a country were 8w scans are the normality so it feels definitely different from the experience of other people that I know.

Not sure what I'm looking for but wondering if anyone else experienced the same.

Thanks xx

Yes, it's 8 weeks in Australia I think. But then I guess they don't have another scan at 12 weeks?

FWIW, I don't think one additional scan is the end of the world, but if you can hold on, then probably that would be better. A friend of mine also got wrongly informed at a private scan place, so I'm very wary of them in general.

That said, it's your body. I don't know how I'd feel about a dp telling me I wasn't allowed to have it.

That is true, generally it is the same that only the 12w scan is for free, but it is also more normal to have your own gynecologist and have an earlier scan anyway with them. The difference is you are sure you get a professional and there is already a trust relationship.

I just really want to be strong and patient enough and I definitely don't want a fight because of it. Probably it was our previous experience that is causing this now and waiting would just be for the best. Just feeling this first trimester really lonely but hope it will go fast.

I had weekly scans from 18 weeks due to cholestasis. Then twice a week from 30 weeks. I don't think they would do this if not safe.

It's your body and if you want to know what's going on inside it then no-one should be able to stop you, not even the father of the baby. He's being unreasonable and I think u should go for it regardless of what he thinks.

To me it sounds like he is trying to avoid the early scan out of fear of what happened last time.

I would discuss with him that having a single extra scan at 8 weeks is in no way a risk to the baby.
Ultimately it is your body and I guess you can do what you want but I think you would both feel so much better coming together and discussing both your feelings on the situation and both hear out the other side.

There isn't any evidence that scans can be bad for the baby but they will help keep your anxiety levels lower which is a good thing?

I'd avoid high street scan places and look for a private maternity services clinic that does scans - they are much more medical in nature and the staff there generally also work at the local maternity hospitals

Your body, your choice

In the US I believe they have scans every 5 seconds as standard (hyperbole obviously, got attacked last time I commented that it seemed like a lot of scans coming from a UK perspective)

I have scan every two weeks due to high risk preg, ultrasounds do no harm else they wouldn't do them at all. I also had an early scan as I couldn't wait until the 12 weeks DH just said do what Eva I wanted/needed to make me feel at easy. With any private scan u have to take them with pinch of salt they are not medical in that they look for issues that's what the nhs scans are for. I think you just need to talk to ur husband and both listen to each other and hopefully he will come around xx

Thank you all for your opinions, I think I will take the advice of suggesting a private maternity unit for it, rather than where we went last time. My partner has been struggling with anxiety and the lockdown hasn't helped, so I'm sure the fear of bad news is a factor.

Every time I bring the conversation up he shuts me down saying that it's not safe but if it's at a reliable private facility then it may help convincing him..

Depending on where you live look for somewhere like Midland Ultrasound And Medical Services - I've had lots of scans with them and the sonographers also work at my hospital and you get the the exact same medical reports as you would at the hospital - my hospital system actually links to theirs and they also send any private blood test results to them (except with the bonus of extra photos and videos!)

Hi. Not had time to read all the answers but wanted to share my experience.

I have a history of recurrent miscarriage and am now under the care of a consultant because of this. She said that weirdly the intervention with the best rate of reduction in recurrent miscarriage rates is scanning every two weeks between 6 and 12 wks. She doesn’t know why - maybe related to maternal anxiety. Anyway, there is good evidence in this study that too many scans are not bad for the baby.

I’m pregnant again and had a scan at 8 wks from her. Paid for private at 10 wks and just had my booking scan at 12 wks. My consultant is going to scan me again at 16 wks for reassurance.

I think it’s totally understandable for you to want an early scan. Like you I’d rather know straight away that something is wrong. Xx

It's your body, your pregnancy and your medical appointments. Book a scan and tell him you are going.

It’s perfectly safe. Just go to a private scan facility that employs qualified sonographers and has links to local hospitals should there be a problem.

Very selfish of your partner to shut you down when you want to talk about your anxiety and the need for a reassurance scan.
Ultrasounds are not harmful when done by professionals.

I think you should really stand up for yourself. This is your body. Your feelings and emotions. Your pregnancy. Please don't let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing.
You heard his opinion but you ultimately make the decision of what's best for you.

I had a MC and having an early scan at 8 weeks really helped me. And it also does help with not feeling so miserable when sick and exhausted.

A scan will help with any anxiety. Which is better for the pregnancy than a scan

Reassurance scans is a technique in supporting women who have had miscarriages, and seems to have a positive rather than negative effect on outcomes.
Obviously a good scan at 9 weeks doesn't mean all will be well at 12, but your chances are improved if you can see a heartbeat at 9 weeks. I would say in general your strong pregnancy symptoms are a good sign too
I don't think your partner should prevent you. I had a scan and miscarried the next day - I know I did not miscarry because of the scan, but I can see how someone could link the two in their head.

There's no evidence scans aren't safe. It's your body and if you feel it'll help your anxiety then it's a good idea to have one.

An early scan doesn’t hurt. If it’s internal, they like to wait at least a week apart but you’re only planning to have 1.
I had 2mc this year @6 weeks so this time I told my partner I would be doing an early scan. I’d rather know sooner than later. I had some spotting around 6 weeks, a few days before my appointment and ended up calling the EPU. They scanned me the same day and there was a heartbeat. I moved my private scan by 2 weeks so I got to see again @ 8 weeks. I still get scanxiety before every scan. Hopefully your partner will agree and you both have a wonderful experience.

Thanks everyone so much for your support, it helped me realize I wasn't being unreasonable after all to really want this 🌷
I spoke to my partner and was able to eventually convince him there is no risk in one more scan and it would be actually good for me in terms of anxiety.. and I will book where I know sonographers are certified and also working for NHS.

Maybe it helped that I was very miserable this past two days with throwing up/headaches as new symptoms.. I think I really need this just to push through these last few weeks

Scan booked for next Saturday ☺️ fingers crossed!

@Sonal876 good luck!
I hope this is your rainbow 🌈

@SunnySideUp2020 thank you so much, really hope too