Looking for some advice.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant, due in May
I had a nephrostomy fitted 3 weeks ago for a kidney stone blocking my ureter. Since then my mental health has really deteriorated, I'm regularly waking up lying in my own wee, I'm still getting the extruciating kidney stone pain, my boyfriend has to do everything for me like helping me to the toilet and helping me get into bed, I've not slept properly in 3 weeks as I'm in so much pain I can't lie down properly.
I really really want the nephrostomy taken out and to have the operation to remove the kidney stone. One of the consultants and another doctor I've spoken to are completely against it despite it being offered to me 3 weeks ago, they say it's too risky for the baby as I'd need a general anaesthetic which can lower my blood pressure and cause a miscarriage, when they break up the stone it could cause an infection or sepsis and cause miscarriage and they'd have to use an x-ray although it would be a tiny dose of radiation. They keep telling me there's a risk of miscarriage or "mental retardation" of my baby. I'm under a maternity consultant who also said to avoid surgery.
There's another consultant who I've not spoken to since I was discharged 3 weeks ago but he said if the pain is too much to call him and I can have the operation. He was really nice. He also said the chance of any of those risks happening is about 10%.
What would you do? I can't manage like this until June (when they want to do the operation). My mental health is really struggling, I'm sat crying all day, my depression has come back, I'm in pain every day, I'm not sleeping, I feel like I'm going mad. But it seems really selfish for me to have the operation when there's a risk of miscarriage.
Do I just need to pull myself together and manage until June?