Missed miscarriage at 15 weeks..

[Emmaemma23]

Hi everyone.
I guess I just wanted to share what has happened and see if anyone has experienced anything similar..
So I went for an antenatal appointment today and the doctor scanned me while I was there.
To my horror, I could see straight away something wasn't right. And then he said it "I'm so sorry.."
Just felt like my world has ended. Like it was a nightmare. I started to cry hysterically. The staff were very kind, they took me to a quiet room so I could process and checked on me every so often while I waited for my mum to join me. I lost track of time, I honestly don't know how long I lay there in that room crying.
The doctor later returned and explained to me the options I have were to have an operation to remove the baby or to go into labour to deliver the baby - he said this is the better option as the operation could cause damage. So I'm due to go in on Sunday to deliver my poor little baby.
I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions today, just still can't believe I'm not pregnant. And why this has happened.. baby was perfectly fine at 12 weeks.
I feel a fool for not realising something was wrong. I just feel so broken I don't know if I can muster the strength to go through this..

Has anyone experienced a late missed miscarriage? Would be nice to hear some stories as I know it has to be done but I'm very scared about how it's all going to work.

I’m so sorry this has happened. It happened to me 21 years ago. The actual delivery wasn’t as bad as I feared as I was given very good drugs. No tests ever revealed the reason. It took a long time to come to terms with it but it got easier in time. I went on to have my DS a yea later.

@DustyMaiden
Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind me asking did you decide to see your baby?

I'm so, so sorry for your loss

I didn’t, it was my reaction to run away. I deeply regret that decision.

This happened to me at 16 weeks. The cord has twisted badly.
Delivery wasn't physically painful but I had a retained placenta so that bit was more physically traumatic.
I did see her* and held her. The hospital had a little tiny sleeping bag and knitted blanket. I'm so glad I spent time to say goodbye. I also took pictures. My partner then took her home in a shoebox and buried her next to his grandad.
*We found out the sex afterwards, from the placenta tests, as she still had a nub. She stopped growing at 15 weeks.
This was in 2018.
You will get through this.

OP and others I'm so so sorry for your losses. @Emmaemma23 I hope Sunday goes well for you. Sending you lots of strength in this trying time

Oh gosh OP I’m so sorry. I had this happen 6 years ago. I opted for the operation. You need to be really kind to yourself afterwards and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. The hormones were tough for me. You will still feel pregnant for a while and then get the awful lull.

I decided not to get any information, I just wanted it to be all over. I do wonder sometimes if it would have been better to face it more head on, but it was right for me at the time.

Beware that people you love may say really insensitive things. They don’t mean it (usually) they are just trying to help, albeit clumsily. People just don’t know how to comfort you. Also don’t be surprised if people you know well tell you they’ve had a mc too. People keep it really quiet in general.

Also do be aware that you can be very fertile afterwards. I fell pregnant 6 weeks afterwards and while most of me was relieved and delighted, I hadn’t grieved properly and found my pregnancy quite tough.

You can and will get through this but take it one day at a time. I’ll be honest, I still occasionally cry about my mc 6 years on. That’s fine though, I lost something I really loved. Sending you luck, love and strength.

I had a miscarriage earlier this year but it was earlier on than you but I just wanted to say how sorry I am this has happened. It’s very cruel and painful but you must be kind to yourself and take time to grieve. Sending lots of strength and thoughts your way.

I’m sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks 3 years ago. We never found a reason why it happened. I got given a tablet to start labour the same day and the delivery itself wasn’t as bad as I had expected pain wise as I had plenty of pain relief. I had decided not to see the baby at the time because I didn’t think I could face it and just wanted to go home but as soon as I got home I regretted that decision and phoned the hospital the next morning and was allowed to go in and see them and hold them for a while which really helped me and I’m so glad that I changed my mind. I waited a while before trying again and then had my daughter the year after and had my son in September. I hope everything goes well for you.

Hi - I’m so sorry for your loss.
This has happened to me at 17 weeks. I also had an induced labour a few days later but unfortunately for me it was very painful and I had complications. I also bled for 11 weeks afterwards. In the long run I think it was still the right choice. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your partner. xxxx

I am so so sorry. What a terrible loss at such a stage when you think you are out of the danger zone. Nothing any of us can say here will make this any better for you, but please know that you are in our hearts. Look after yourself and remember the sun will shine again xx

@Emmaemma23 I m so sorry for your loss! I went through the same phase 8 months back in early April, it was supposed to be my 20th week anatomy scan but baby had stopped heartbeat approx 2 weeks ago, everything was fine on 12th week scan :( I still miss my little boy and I never got chance to look at him fast forward to 4 months I fell pregnant and now I m 17 weeks pregnant and scared to death about each day!
But remember it's all part and parcel of life, we cant control everything that happens nature has it's own way, be kind to yourself. You are certainly not the reason for what happened with you, its nature way, be strong and stay healthy. Concentrate more on your physical and mental health now!
Lots of love and hugs ❤

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words 💕
So I am home after my treatment yesterday. I was really nervous but as soon as I got there they made me feel comfortable. My room was lovely, like a hotel room with a delivery room attached.
In terms of the process I was very lucky as I didn't start to cramp badly until around 5ish at which point I was given morphine and the second lot of tablets to bring on the contractions. The pain quickly became quite intense and I threw up a lot.. even after my second anti- sickness injection into the bum (ouch) and in between begging for more morphine, I delivered my baby into a bowl in the bathroom at 8.15pm. I was lucky I was able to push the placenta out myself shortly after.

The whole experience is a blur still to be honest, the grief hit me only when I had to leave my baby and come home. But I'm so glad I had that one night where the baby was in the room next to me, and I got to say goodbye to them and tell them I loved them and always will.
The hospital staff at wexham have been absolutely brilliant and so kind and attentive. They made an awful situation a lot easier which I didn't think was possible!

Thank you everyone for your kind words, they really do mean so much 💕

I’m so sorry OP. It’s a terrible thing to go through. I had a TFMR at 16 weeks which was surgical so I didnt have physical labour. I recovered quite well but even once everything had gone back to normal I cried every day for three months. It was such a hard time. Be very kind to yourself. You’ve been through terrible shock and both physical and mental trauma .

@Emmaemma23 sending you lots of strength ❤️❤️❤️

Sending you so much love x

That's a sore one, OP.

Same for me at around the same time as you. Staff were amazing too - midwife had me in her arms crying with me on the bed.

Look after yourself

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. It is so very hard. My DD had this happen more than once. It was so difficult to say the right things as I so wanted to take the pain away for her. No-one can do that, but they can, as I do, send loving wishes and strength.

I’m so sorry for your loss

I realise this is an old post but felt it was worth posting. Op so sorry for your loss. I recently went through the loss of my son at 15 weeks & 5 days. I had Labour induced and delivered naturally.
I’ve also had a missed misscarriage at 8 weeks back in November 2020.
Has anyone experienced two mc (an early and then late one) and then went on to have a healthy live birth.
It may also be worth noting I have a healthy 2 year old which was my first ever pregnancy and then suffered the two losses afterwards.
Thank u x

Hey Op, I know this is an old thread but so sorry for your loss 🙏..
@KeepingHope21 so sorry for what you have been through 💐. I have experienced an early miscarriage last year at 6 weeks then a late miscarriage of my boy this year at 19 weeks. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant now and absolutely terrified!

@Msh83 thanks for your reply. I’m so sorry for your losses 💛

I’m glad to hear you were brave enough to try again. I’m hoping in the next few weeks I’m also feel ready. I’m waiting for our boys autopsy results atm. Did you ever find a cause for your later mc? Or even your earlier one?

Big hugs 💗💗💗

@KeepingHope21 when I gave birth to him they took my placenta away for testing. Results came back that there was a tiny infection but they can't say for definite if this was the cause of my waters breaking. They couldn't find nothing else wrong. My earlier miscarriage was a blighted ovum. I wish you all the best with your future trying. It is a worry still when you become pregnant but I'm just trying to be positive as much as I can! And I have been getting alot of extra support from the hospital and more checks are in place now for this pregnancy. All the best to you❤