1st pregnancy , feeling lonely

[bubbleblower85]

Hello everyone. I am new here.

I just wanted some 'advice', reassurance (?). I am 35 years old, and this is my first pregnancy, I am 4 weeks. I just feel lonely and a bit lost, because I obviously haven't told anyone yet (waiting for at least after the 12 week scan) and I haven't had any call/contact with the midwife as of yet. I don't know what I am supposed to 'do'.

Thank you

Err.. take your folic acid and get on with your life?

uuurrrrr thanks I guess!!

Hey! First of all, congratulations.. what an exciting time! I just had my 12 weeks scan today :)
Don't worry I was in the same boat too at 4 weeks. It's a very exciting time and so hard not to just scream it to the world!
I would definitely call your GP and book in a midwife appointment, it'll probably be around 8 weeks but at least you have a date booked in and they may give you some advice on the phone.
I would start taking folic acid and vitamin d supplements and read what the nhs website recommends for food and just take it easy really!
The first few weeks are pretty hard when it comes to being tired, groggy and full of emotion. Do you have a close friend to talk to and does the father know?

Start taking your folic acid, and relax as much as possible enjoy being able to see your feet and being able to sleep haha! Good luck I hope all goes well for you xx

@bubbleblower85

uuurrrrr thanks I guess!!

Ignore that previous poster!

It's is a funny old time, stuck in limbo. I completely appreciate it. Would you consider telling our parents or close friends? I was of the view that I would tell them if I ever had a miscarriage, so it didn't make a difference whether they knew at the beginning or after 12 weeks. It's nice to have people around you who are all equally as excited as you are.

If you choose not to, spend the time googling nursery designs and Prams, local hospital and antenatal classes. Get your self a private scan booked in for 8 weeks and start ending the journey :)

@Moongolf

Hey! First of all, congratulations.. what an exciting time! I just had my 12 weeks scan today :) Don't worry I was in the same boat too at 4 weeks. It's a very exciting time and so hard not to just scream it to the world! I would definitely call your GP and book in a midwife appointment, it'll probably be around 8 weeks but at least you have a date booked in and they may give you some advice on the phone. I would start taking folic acid and vitamin d supplements and read what the nhs website recommends for food and just take it easy really! The first few weeks are pretty hard when it comes to being tired, groggy and full of emotion. Do you have a close friend to talk to and does the father know?

Thank you, I suppose I don't really know how I am feeling so feel at bit a sea. I mean I am happy and this is a wanted preganancy but just feel like a little what next. Yes my husband is happy about the pregnancy too. I have had food allergies issues since December 2016 and this has left me with food anxiety so I haven't taken any supplements as I am scared that I might react and damage the baby. Thank you for your response.

thank you lil28 :)

Thank you TH22. I don't have the best relationship with family so in two minds to tell them. But thank you for the suggestions re googling baby stuff. :)

Take your folic acid, but some tummy oils, enjoy your rest! Have a think about who you will tell first, what you need to buy, costs etc have a look at some nice food/munchies for Christmas!
Congratulations by the way!

• buy, not but!

Congratulations ☺️👍

Congratulations!!

I completely understand how you feel! It’s such a strange time. I felt lost in my first pregnancy until I started pregnancy yoga around 14 weeks. Covid allowing, I would definitely recommend some sort of pregnancy exercise class to start getting to know other people in the same boat as soon as you are able.

I would also recommend downloading a pregnancy app if you don’t already have one. It’s nice to get information about how your baby is developing and tips.

Folic acid is very important so I would start by addressing your anxiety about food ASAP.

I hope you are feeling less lonely x

Hi OP, congratulations!

You can call your GP to find out how to be referred to the midwife (some practises do it for you or they give you a number to ring). You'll have a booking appointment at about 10 weeks where they ask a lot of health related questions, take a blood sample, urine sample and weigh you and take your blood pressure etc but until then you're just sort of waiting. Take folic acid, try and eat healthily before the cravings and sickness kick in and all you can stomach is crap food and look after yourself.

The first 12 weeks seem to go really bloody slowly and then all of sudden it goes really quick once you've had your dating scan. I'm 17 weeks now and not sure how that's happened so quickly as my 12 week scan seemed like last week.

You could book yourself a private scan for about 8 weeks so you've got something a bit sooner to look forward to. Places like Window to the Womb and Ultrasound Direct do them relatively cheap xx

Ahh I’m sorry you’re feeling this way (and for that pp...)

Totally get what you mean, it’s so strange to have what is possibly the biggest secret of your life! You just wanna scream from the rooftops!

It’s super early to start doing so many things I suppose but I really enjoyed the activities that made me connect with my mind and body like yoga, walking and also just writing in a little journal (so teenager-y I know but it helped!). I felt like my body was doing something absolutely enormous and incredible and if I wasn’t paying attention it could just pass me by. Plus lockdown.... 🙄

Is there someone special you can tell your news to, someone who would be a good support for you if things go differently? I chose a specific friend for that very reason and it really helped. I wasn’t worried about having to tell her bad news if it came to it because I knew she would help me through.

If you really feel like you’re struggling though, don’t wait for the midwife to call you, pick up the phone and have a chat with your doctors ❤️

@bubbleblower85

Very welcome! Glad you have your husband to talk to and be excited with :) what a lovely time!

Sorry to hear about your food anxiety, that must feel scary when thinking you have a little one. Maybe it would be a good idea to contact your GP with your concerns? From the nhs website, "Folic acid is very important for the development of a healthy foetus. It can significantly reduce the chance of neural tube defects (NTDs), such as spina bifida." So it is worth getting advice on! And it'll give you peace of mind

What my hubby gave me was a day to day book on what's happening during pregnancy and we read that every night together :) that could be a really nice way of getting familiar with what's going on and what to do next!
I have The Day-by-Day Pregnancy Book: Count Down Your Pregnancy Day by Day with Advice From a Team of Experts by Dr Maggie Blott
Would recommend!
xx

Thank you to everyone for all the psotive messages and recommnedation, I already feel much better.

I will talk to my GP re food anxiety, and chase up the Midwife. I will also look into ante natal classes to surround myself with women in the same position. I suppose do things I enjoy that are a safe too.

You have all been fabolous, sending virtual hugs to you all.

I was having this conversation with DH this evening. Before you're around 20 weeks pregnant, you don't get much support from the hospital, then all of a sudden, its regular appointments, concern, etc.

The period before your 12 week scan is weird, as you don't know if you're truly pregnant, are you doing the right thing, no one knows, etc. It will fly pass so don't feel too down about it. What you are feeling is normal.

Thank you Ms HedgeHog. I am glad I wasn't the only one feeling this way at the early stage.

Thank you everyone.

Off too sleep now :)