Last trimester over Christmas

[littledonkeycarrymary]

So.....

The government obviously now has rules about this and I wouldn't do more than permitted over Christmas, but I was wondering what others who are heavily pregnant are doing in terms of Christmas gatherings?

I have three households I would usually see, so would think that my plan, in ordinary times, could be to offer to see PIL and parents and then meet siblings for an outside walk. (I am assuming we would be in Tier 2)

The thing that gives me pause for thought is that: (1) neither parents (who are hardline about not mask wearing) or PIL may comply with the rules (they will likely see others) and I don't want to be responsible for policing others - too stressful; and (2) suggestions are for those who are in last trimester to be cautious, just in case, and try to socially distance from others.

My thought is that my DH and I could try to socially distance even if we were spending time together over Christmas for a meal (imperfect, of course but avoid hugging/kissing etc) and then just see those two households ourselves and meet siblings for an outdoor walk (in full knowledge that they will see my parents and whoever else they want to). If I pick one set of parents this will go down extremely badly - I would really need to pick PIL as otherwise they would be on their own and my parents won't take it well at all. I have a toddler, so I realise that they will not socially distance from GPs if we see them and I totally accept this.

Can you tell me your plans? Would be just so nice to hear other thoughts and views!

I'll be 38 weeks on Christmas Eve. We are seeing the 3 families we have been seeing, one is in our bubble hence 3 not 2, then from Christmas we'll keep a relatively low profile, as I want to reduce as far as possible the risk of testing positive when I'm in labour!

That's interesting, thank you. I might just be overthinking things - the nesting/protect my baby instinct has kicked in!

Is anyone doing anything differently in terms of social distancing as a result of being pregnant and in last trimester, or is it just me?

I was really chilled at the start of my pregnancy but I'm in my 3rd trimester and feeling a bit different now. I don't really know what we should and shouldn't be doing! I've been told to work from home (teacher) and I'm not going to supermarkets or out at all really! I have teacher guilt and I think because I'm working from home teaching over Teams I feel a bit like I can't really go anywhere. I'm not seeing family over Christmas because I feel a bit weird about it. There are too many of us anyway so we wouldn't be able to have a normal Christmas and I don't want to offend my in laws by choosing my parents over them. I'm probably a bit OTT about it and I think it all stems from working from home and turning into a recluse! It would be good to see what others are doing too because I'm in a bit of a bubble!

Ha, yes me too - this is my second so was relaxed anyway, but had so many opportunities outside May-September that I didn't really need to see may people inside really anyway and I felt pretty safe - I was working from home anyway and no need for public transport. Now cases have risen steeply locally and have hit third trimester I feel differently really. I feel I probably should be socially distancing over Christmas, but am finding the guilt/logistics a bit tricky!!

I'm not seeing any of my family over xmas - apart from maybe for a socially distanced walk and present exchange outside. If I go into labour a wee bit early it could potentially be over the Xmas period, and for me the risk of either me, or possibly even worse, my partner testing positive isn't worth it - apparently you can still get a positive test some time after having covid, and if that happened partner wouldn't be allowed in for the birth (many hospitals, mine included, are now testing partners before entry). So for me risks far outweigh benefits. But it's a personal choice - I'm perhaps being overcautious, but haven't been wfh and staying in to blow it at the final hurdle!

Makes total sense! I was planning to do the same from January before I have my planned section (have to have one for health reasons), but now third trimester and Christmas is approaching I am thinking that it is probably sensible to be very cautious a lot earlier.

I will be pretty much entirely shielding after the first weekend in December. Will be 36 weeks on Xmas Day. I do not want to risk giving birth with Covid, not being able to breathe properly would stress me out, I'm already being pushed to more intervention than I am happy with I couldn't be doing with adding more complications.
It's one Christmas, I will be happy just to be at home with my household and the chance to relax 😀😁

I will be 36 weeks on Christmas Day and still planning on seeing close immediate family over Christmas. Obviously we will be sensible, no kissing etc and if anyone is feeling even slightly unwell then they won’t attend. Baby is due 22nd January so following this I will be then be keeping a fairly low profile (without feeling too much like a prisoner as we have a toddler) for the rest of the term. Just do what you feel is right for you x

Cool - all very reassuring, with a mix of views!

I think we will probably offer the GPS a gathering over Xmas with no kissing for me and hubby etc, sticking to Xmas bubble rules, then likely we can see people for walks outside in our tier, so will do that.

Thanks all, you have put my mind at ease about the decision-making. As I said, the rest of my family are not practising caution (and have scoffed at the idea that I might isolate before my section in line with hospital guidance), so the family politics/pressure has made me more nervous than perhaps it should I think!

Hi all. Christmas is confusing enough, but what about when baby arrives?? We're due first week of Jan and I'm worried that my in-laws will still be visiting various extended family and not following the rules (they've been quite irresponsible the whole time) but will still want to visit our newborn! My parents are already in our bubble as provide childcare for our other children and we will rely on them when I go into labour, but can I really put a stop to my husbands family meeting the baby?? I'm tempted to say that until the rules allow indoor visitors, they can only see baby from the doorstep but no cuddling. Can't even imagine dishing out a vulnerable newborn for cuddles on the doorstep in the middle of a pandemic and in freezing cold winter!

Whats everyone's else's view on visitors when baby is born? X

I should also mention that I love my in-laws, we're a very close family and they are kind people who I'm sure would 'outwardly' respect our decision, but they have been very ignorant about the severity of the pandemic and I think they would be hurt if we didn't allow them the same visits as my parents, but rules are rules right?! I don't want to cause a rift, I just feel like we have to do right by baby x

@Trying2b I’m more stressed about this than Xmas, ha. I’ve said to both sets of parents only visits outside at a distance to start with. After that, if they isolate for 2 weeks/5 days after a test they can come inside and have a cuddle. We don’t currently have a support bubble but will probably ask my parents as they live closer. I doubt in laws will be overjoyed but ultimately as you say, rules are rules! We might let them break them and sneak in for a day IF they’ve isolated - it would be our first rule breach - but waiting to see how we both feel to decide. As if having a newborn wasn’t hard enough....! You have my sympathy it’s rubbish.

I'll be in my final trimester with twins. Also have 4 year old DD. We don't live close to family or siblings - we would normally travel to see PIL a day or so before Xmas depending on how it falls and then my sibling/parents Boxing Day - all around 2 to 2 1/2 hour drives one way

This year I've said absolutely no travelling because DH doesn't really drive and it's too uncomfortable and tiring for me to do it all

PIL don't drive and would need to get a few trains/buses - I've said no to them visiting this year because I feel it's too high a risk plus they'd need to stay over night (we are tier 3). My parents are coming Xmas day because they drive and can go home same day. They are generally pretty good at following the rules so I'm comfortable hugging etc with them

I don't feel too stressed about covid and the risk to be honest - DD is at school so mixing with dozens of kids on a daily basis and DH still going to work so can hardly then enforce a strict isolation at home

@Britannah

I will be 36 weeks on Christmas Day and still planning on seeing close immediate family over Christmas. Obviously we will be sensible, no kissing etc and if anyone is feeling even slightly unwell then they won’t attend. Baby is due 22nd January so following this I will be then be keeping a fairly low profile (without feeling too much like a prisoner as we have a toddler) for the rest of the term. Just do what you feel is right for you x

Basically this, less the toddler. Christmas is going to be our last social occasion then we're pretty much going to stay indoors just the two of us from then until the baby's born. Like us, extended family have been cautious throughout the pandemic so I'm not too worried.

I'll be 37 weeks boxing day. Normally we go and see partners family for Christmas then mine for boxing day. This year we are staying home. I've told everyone I'm not risking it so close to due date. I'm not too worried about the covid side as I know both sides have taken it seriously as have we.