Do they really bring this up at appointments during pregnancy

[Fabpinky]

A friend told me that when you’re pregnant, at some appointments they will bring up if you’ve had any STIs. Is this true? If so why?

Not unusual to be asked, massively unusual and frankly weird to have your partner’s parents in the room during a private medical appointment.

@DontBeShelfish No, I’m not even pregnant or planning to be anytime soon. I was just wondering

@Fabpinky- Usually the nurse/midwife would ask the patient 'are you sure you'd like ALL these people in the room with you???' Not only is STi history relevant, but you are also asked about previous pregnancies, miscarriages and abortions, so even weirer that she'd bring mother and father in law along to listen in!

*weirder

My midwife wanted to ask me if there was any domestic violence in the home with my first, and to warn me that it can often start for the first time during pregnancy too. Apparently that is a standard thing they have to talk about and I do wonder how that works if a partner/parents insist on coming into the room too.

They also ask about domestic violence and ask if you are safe at home and if you need any help in that regard so it's very weird that the in-laws were there.

I don't ever remember being asked if I've had sti but they do go through medical history and offer tests for sti which will be included in normal blood tests so no separate tests routine blood tests are taken anyway.so worth getting them done but you can refuse the sti one but why would you better to be safe altho I was a little embrassed when she asked would I like them done wasn't expecting it.

The questions can be very intrusive never in a million years would I want someone else there with me let alone the in-laws

You also get asked about previous drug taking and also whether you feel "safe" at home and whether you are afraid of your partner

Was never asked about domestic violence either or if everything is ok at home must depend what area an midwife you see. Or is that a recent thing my dd is 5 an everything changes all the time.

I just had my booking appointment a few weeks ago and yes they ask you. I was alone due to covid but i remember my last pregnancy they asked me to but they asked my partner to leave the room and they asked me really private questions then i.e. any sti's, domestic violence and mental health history!

When you enter the room with who you bring into the room with your doctor, you’re giving permission for them to speak freely in front of whoever you took into that room... that’s the point of waiting rooms. To wait outside.

Definitely a normal question. Of course its personal. At your booking appointment they have to ask you all sorts of questions about your medical history and sexual behaviour and home life. Not because they're nosy but because they're medically relevant to your health and your baby's health. Most people attend the booking appointment alone or with the babys Father/co-parent.

My hospital wouldn't let you bring anyone for that part of booking in. Even if you didn't speak English they insisted on a translator. Bringing in laws is really odd.

The DV question has been National guidance for more than ten years, everyone should be asked. If a partner is present the midwife should find a reason to get the woman alone, take her to the loo for another urine sample, take her to another room to weigh her, etc.

@Sweettea1

Was never asked about domestic violence either or if everything is ok at home must depend what area an midwife you see. Or is that a recent thing my dd is 5 an everything changes all the time.

My DD is almost 5 and I was asked regularly about DV - almost every appointment and the same with this pregnancy - they said it's a standard question at every appointment

@Sweettea1

Was never asked about domestic violence either or if everything is ok at home must depend what area an midwife you see. Or is that a recent thing my dd is 5 an everything changes all the time.

That's a significant failing in care on the part of your midwife. My mum was asked about DV 30 years ago!

Yes they ask. Bit weird the PIL were there though.
In our area they ask 'is there anyway you can be related' so guessing incest is high in my area

Yes I was also asked about DV. My partner was with me and she took me out the room to weigh me that's when she asked. There wasn't any DV but I appreciate the way they ask.
HV also asks when you're not with your partner. They have too.

They didn't ask me but she ran all the blood tests for STIs and i am pretty sure you can see if you had some infection at some point because of some antibodies showing positive.
I am not a doctor but it's like it's not an active or recent infection but it was there at some point.. if that makes sense?

Sometimes I think they really Should be asking the partners if they feel afraid of us - I'm pregnant with twins and so bloody hormonal - if he leaves his socks on the floor of the lounge one more time I'm going to blow!

I'm guessing your friend was a teenager when she was pregnant? I don't understand why a grown woman would have her parents or anyone else's at such appointments (unless she had some mental or physical issues where she required carers).

@SpillingTheTea

Yes they ask. Bit weird the PIL were there though. In our area they ask 'is there anyway you can be related' so guessing incest is high in my area

Not sure why you thought a laughing emoji was appropriate there.

Yeah domestic violence question has been asked for years and they ask you nearly every time they see you! Think my now husband felt a bit hurt when i told him what they asked when he was made to leave with first baby but they do explain they ask everyone repeatedly cause you and baby are higher risk then i think! But only asked about sti's once.

I had such bad morning sickness at my booking in appointment I spent 30 minutes vomiting in the loo. I then screamed when they tried to take blood and shouted get off I've ran out of blood. I then told them that my husband isn't the father and we're biologically related.

I had to sit in the dark on a rocking chair sipping water before we could continue.

@PFin

Yeah domestic violence question has been asked for years and they ask you nearly every time they see you! Think my now husband felt a bit hurt when i told him what they asked when he was made to leave with first baby but they do explain they ask everyone repeatedly cause you and baby are higher risk then i think! But only asked about sti's once.

The DV could start after the booking in appointment. A lot of DV begins during pregnancy and the booking in appointment is very early on.