7 weeks and unsure!

[ROBERTS]

IS THERE ANYONE IN A POSITION AS MYSELF. AM SEVEN WEEKS AND UNSAFE WHAT TO DO. DUE TO FINANICAL RESOURSES I AM HAVIN TO DECIDE IF I CAN KEEP THIS BABY OR NOT. IS THERE ANYONE IN THE SAME POSITION AS I.

Hi Roberts - I'm not one personally who beleives in abortion for any reason except for a couple certain issues. All I can say is that when I was pregnant with my 1st I was as poor as the poorest but I had my baby and it was rough financially afterwards but we did make it and I was happy I did have my baby even though it was on hard times. This went on for my 2nd and 3rd same situation. My children didnt have everything they wanted but had everything they needed. When things seem at their worse they can work out in the end. I wish you the best and hope you make the right decision for yourself and your family.

I tend to believe that it's a great moral crime to bring an unwanted child into the world.

But only ROBERTS can decide the right thing to do

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Roberts - can you tell us any more? Are you with a partner or will you have to bring up the child alone? My pregnancy was unplanned and I was without a partner so I do know a little of how you might be feeling.

An 'unwanted' or unplanned child can become a very much loved child.

Roberts, my baby was unplanned and a great shock but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Money isn't everything. Termination isn't an easy option and if there is one iota of doubt then I would advise against it. If you want advice then look at Rhubarbs' (another mumsnetter) website for a list of contacts. I'll just find the address.

www.unplannedpregnancies.co.uk.

Best of luck, I will be thinking of you.

Yeah ROBERTS, definitely check out that website its full of non-judgemental advice. Just from my own experience I have lived on income support that you are entitled to if you have no income of your own. You can also get a maternity grant of about £200 (I think) from the goverment to help you buy stuff for the baby. Its really tough living on a tight budget (i was a single parent) but with the help and support of family and friends you can make it into a brilliant experience.
But I am totally in favour of termination if you emotionally aren't ready for a baby... If its just the money and you're really keen to try and be a good parent to a wanted child then try and look into how much money you are entitled too.
Best wishes for whatever you decide

Thank you all for your feed back, I have alot of thinking to do in such a short time. I only wish someone could make the decision for me but I know it can only come from me. I know I would make a good mum as it will be my first but Im scared of whats around the corner when the baby comes. My partner and I are just about managing in todays expensive living and if the baby comes along I know we are going to struggle and with that comes arguements. I know most people today find it hard and i know deep inside i want this child. I will have to stop listening to family pressures, (your never manage) and try come to a decision.

Hi Roberts. RobinW made a wonderful point about giving the baby up for adoption. Could that be a possibility. You wouldnt have to go through an abortion and the feelings afterwards and you would be giving your child a chance at life. I know many wonderful families are yearning for a child. I have a friend on the west coast (usa) who has been trying for 8 years with no luck. They are now looking into invetro. She desperatley wants a baby and would make a lovely parent. There are many women like this. Would it be harder to you to live with having your baby adopted out or with terminating.

Roberts: kids are not always as expensive as you may think. Else only the rich would breed... There are a lot of benefits out there for parents (I assume you're in the UK?). ~£50/month in child benefit, for instance. Approx. half price nursery care from age 3. Often help with housing from the council. £1500/tax credit if both parents work at least 16 hrs/week. Etc.

Roberts, my baby woke me at 4 this morning and I was thinking of you. Being a mum is hard work but it's the best thing in the world, too. I'm sure that you will love this baby and be a great mum. If you decide that you can't manage then you can always put the baby up for adoption as has been suggested. You can't change your mind after a termination. Lots and lots of best wishes.

Also Roberts, don't believe all the marketing out there - you really don't need much stuff for babies and you can improvise really cheaply. Babies love you for being you, not for how much you can spend on them.

The secondhand market is full of nearly new baby stuff at really good prices, places like IKEA have cots for under £30, I won't go on, but I promise you you really don't need all the flashy kit.

Hope you decide to keep the baby as you sound like you want to really, and you sound like you'd make a fab mum.

I agree with what others have said - as long as you can give your baby love, affection and attention then you will make a wonderful mother - materialistic things don't come into it when all a child needs is love, care and dedication.

No baby needs even such basic things as baby bath (use a sink), special wash products (just pure water is recommended for young babies - they don't need special cleansers), basic clothing - not designer modern up-to-date clothes. You can buy very good quality second-hand (nearly new) prams/pushchairs at such a knock-down rate. I have a shop near me where you can buy a 3-in-1 for less than £100 (second hand but looks like new), second hand cots are fine (just need a new mattress for safety and personal reasons).

If the only reason you are thinking that you cannot have this baby is for financial reasons, then please think again. I do not know you or your situation and have never been in your position of having to make this decisin, but I feel that you do really want this baby and how would you be able to live with yourself if you terminated the pregnancy just because of outside pressures.

You've said that deep inside you want this child.
That's your answer - that's all you need to know, the rest is wrapping paper. Good luck.

Welcome to mumsnet Roberts. You can be sure to receive lots of help here at every stage whatever you decide.
You said "deep inside I want this child" . Seems like you've got your answer.
Best of luck .