Choices unplanned pregnancy

[Jill29]

Hi everyone.
I found out that I'm pregnant even though I've been on contraception since I gave birth to my first son. He is only 1 and my partner and I dont know if we have the means to raise the baby. If anyone doesn't agree with pro choice or find it a senstivr topic please dont stay on the thread. I'm simply trying to get some help.

I've just restarted uni and we aren't in a great place financially it's been a struggle
I also gained a lot of weight due to my contraception and also during breastfeeding. I've very unhealthy at the moment and wanted to get fit again for myself and my son. If I were to leave uni we wouldn't be able to afford our rent so on
But I'm struggling with the idea of having an abortion. Could anyone give me any advice or their own experiences. I haven't made a choice but I'm trying to make one fast but I also want to make sure I make the right one and I feel really alone.

If anyone could reply it would be great

Hi Jill

I'm so sorry this has happened, it must be incredibly upsetting to have to make this choice.

I had a termination many years ago. I was reasonably young and couldn't see how I could support a baby, and my mental health wasn't good. I was fortunate to be able to have a medical one where you have a pill and a pessary, after all of the sign offs from doctors. When I went to the clinic there were lots of women from all ages and backgrounds making the same difficult decision for a raft of reasons.

While thinking about my experience makes me sad, and I do wonder about the child, it was right for me and I've never regretted it. But I was absolutely 100% certain it was the right thing at the time. If you're not sure I would advise finding a trusted friend to talk it through, or even a helpline like Samaritans, just to get it off your chest. Even if people haven't been through the same thing it's more the talking it through from your side that may help.

I hope whatever you decide to do you feel at peace with it. Take care.

This is a horrible situation, very heart vs head situation. Your heart is probably saying keep but head is very much being logical.

If you can’t afford to live / pay rent / eat etc if you keep, would you resent them? Would you hate what you had to give up and how much you can’t provide for your oldest too?

I’m leaning more towards a termination if I was in your shoes but double and triple check your money situation. If there was any way to keep them I would but not at the expense of older child / mental health / heating / food.

Sorry it’s a really shit situation. Best of luck with what you decide x

So sorry

I don't know which way you've gone, it's been a while and probably too late for my input. We were pregnant, and very much looked at it reason vs emotion. Reason won out, even though we had inclings of wanting to keep the baby, we couldn't get the logic out of our heads. We have regretted it ever since. Everyone is different, but a lot of people don't talk about the devastation. I think it gets harder the further you are in your pregnancy, we were 11w4d. We spent weeks talking about it, trying to be certain of our situation. You can never get your baby back, and if you're not certain, don't terminate. I hope you're doing well in your current situation, whichever way you went.