We had a private scan at 18 weeks, and did so so that my husband could attend, as he couldn't be at the 20 week.
Sonography was lovely, and reassured us that all was well. We left delighted, clutching a fab image, flying high at the discovery that we were having a girl.
The 20 week scan at hospital two weeks later detected a series of huge anomalies with our baby's heart, one of which was a HUGE hole in the centre of her heart. Specialist fetal Cardiologists at Evelina diagnosed that the series of issues were not compatible with life, and lead to a devastating TFMR the following week.
Looking back, you can clearly see the hole - it's enormous - on the 18 week image. It was my first pregnancy and stupidly, I had no idea what to look for. The sonographer spent a long time on the heart, making sure she had a clear image (and even recorded a heartbeat that we had put inside a bear for my youngest DSD), and didn't mention any unusual issues.
I had signed a disclaimer saying that if any abnormalities were noted they would suggest a referral to your midwife/GP/local trust. We even chatted to her about what level of issues could be detected by private scans, and she confidently said that they were trained to detect the same issues as hospital sonographers and frequently recommended referrals. Whilst impressed, we didn't pay much attention to the need for this, as we'd been assured that all was fine, and we didn't need to. Sounds daft, but in that moment, that's where we were.
Whilst a referral two weeks earlier wouldn't have made the slightest difference to the heartbreaking outcome, looking back, that two weeks of flying high, buying prams and pink babygrows, feeling safe in the knowledge that everything was FINE, made the eventual shock much harder to take.
It's not the sonographers fault. It's nobody's fault. But i do think that private scans should be sold as what they are - a commercial entity allowing you to collect a series of scan images. No more, no less. They may help manage maternal anxiety for a pregnancy that's progressing well, but if we choose to TTC again, I personally wouldn't be prepared to risk putting my trust in a non-medical scan for any level of reassurance. The fall is too painful.