Fears and worries

[Sitchervice]

I'm feeling very down right now and I do feel really guilty.

I worry I'm not going to be a good mum.

Can you tell us what makes you worry about that? Are you pregnant at the moment?

One thing to think about - people who are bad mums, usually dont worry about being a bad mum! You're worried because you care about being a good mum.

@TheDaydreamBelievers

I'm about 9 to 10 weeks pregnant. And today I just feel so down, like I'm sucking happyness right out of people. I'm finding I that over the last few days I don't want to talk to my friends, my family or anyone.

@Sitchervice sorry to hear you feel so down! Could just be the hormones or the tiredness! What makes you think you wont be good?

Do you have people in real life you can talk to about how you are feeling?

@TheDaydreamBelievers

I just don't feel capable. Like I'm going to ruin this child's life.

Was your baby planned @Sitchervice? Do you have good support in your own life?

Have you had your booking appt with a midwife yet? Anxiety and low mood can be associated with pregnancy so might be worth telling them how you are feeling.

I am sure you will be a good mum. If you are feeling unconfident about the practical bits there are online classes and at your 12 week scan they give you a massive book that's basically babies 101.

@TheDaydreamBelievers
I'm married but we were told I might not beable to have children.

I did tel my midwife about my anxiety history and I'm on tablets but they still marked me down as not at risk with depression and anxiety

So it's a bit of an understandable adjustment then, to realise this is actually happening must be quite anxiety provoking @Sitchervice. I think these are anxious thoughts you are experiencing. Anxiety can ramp up in pregnancy. Importantly, anxiety tell us things that are not true. Intrusive thoughts most often centre on the worst things we can think, the things we want to happen least. I can see you really want to be a good mum and for that reason you will be a good mum.

(As a side note , I am amazed how many drs seem to tell people they will struggle to conceive only for them to later conceive)

I have 3 boys 13, 10 and 8 months. My eldest 2 are from a previous relationship hence the massive age gap. My 8 month old was planned and very very wanted and we were planning on having another in a few years time but I’ve just found out I’m 3 weeks pregnant and I’m so unhappy about it. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, I feel so guilty for not being happy and excited. My parter is over the moon and wants to shout it from the roof tops n I just want to curl up in a ball and cry! I just feel like it’s far to soon after having my baby a few months ago and what with lockdown etc it’s obviously been a very different start in his little life with no one being able to come to see him or give me a hand and a bit of support either. I’m struggling enough with the little one as he’s not a good sleeper without adding another baby to the mix. I’m also worried about my eldest 2 reaction to the news, I feel so rubbish and guilty for feeling like this when I know really it’s a total blessing and I should be so happy.