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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

keeping sex a secret

21 replies

softmusk · 17/10/2007 20:30

i have got my 20 week scan next week just wondered if any one has ever found out the sex off baby then kept it a secret with there partner

thinking about doing this not sure if will be able to tell the sex they could tell with my 2 dds

OP posts:

Original poster

softmusk · 17/10/2007 20:31

sorry could not tell with dds

OP posts:

CristinaTheAstonishing · 17/10/2007 20:32

Why would you be keeping it a secret?

TrinityRhino · 17/10/2007 20:33

not sure that sounds like a good idea at all
It wouldn't even cross my mind to do that....but I don't know your story

Original poster

softmusk · 17/10/2007 20:39

i just thought it would be a nice thing to hsve between us
and the rest of family get a surpise when baby comes

OP posts:

CristinaTheAstonishing · 17/10/2007 20:41

If you think the surprise would give your family so much pleasure, why deny it to yourselves? (BTW I found out the sex with all of mine - and told anyone who asked.)

TrinityRhino · 17/10/2007 20:44

aaaaahhhh sorry I misread your post and thought you said keep it a secret from your partner

lol sorry

right keeping it a secret for just you and your partner. We did that for a little while till I couldn't keep it in any longer lol
sounds fine, it's noone elses business really when your pregnant and when its born they'll know

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/10/2007 20:46

We knew we were having a little boy when pg with ds. Dh & I kept it to ourselves all along

After the birth when we told MIl we knew, she was peeved that we hadn't told her

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 20:46

Blimey I got the thread title wrong too! I was gonna say that it's a bit late to keep it a secret that you've had sex if you're up the duff!

I take it your dh doesn't want to know? Well if you do and he doesn't, I don't see why you can't find out and then not tell him. I was tempted to with my second by dh made me promise not to, and I can't break a promise.

TrinityRhino · 17/10/2007 20:48

you've still got it wrong mort! dozy mare

she means keep it a secret between the two of them

god you are silly

Original poster

softmusk · 17/10/2007 20:49

sorry maybe the post wasnt worded very well its been a long day

i meant has any one ever keep the sex between them and there dh and not told the rest of the word

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 17/10/2007 20:49

sorry morticiasmother
I wasn't insulting you just teasing

mamalocco · 17/10/2007 21:14

We did this with DD2. Found out that DS was a DS and told everyone and it felt abit of an anticlimax when he was born. When pregnant with DD2 found out the sex but we didn't tell anyone - said we didn't know. Thought it would be a nightmare and I would blurt it out - but it was fine.

My only word of warning would be not to do what a couple of friends have done and said 'we know the sex, but we're not telling'. Get over yourselves!!

boozle · 17/10/2007 21:14

Softmusk,

My husband and I knew the sex of our DD from about week 20 onwards and kept it a secret throughout. In fact, to this day, it is still the case that no-one knows that we knew. When other people asked, we simply said that we didn't know the sex. (We categorically didn't tell people that we knew but that they would have to wait, as we didn't want them pestering us for the information!)

We found it easy not to tell and enjoyed allowing our DD to "keep her little secret" right to the end. Our circumstances were a bit particular though in that we actually didn't really even want to know her sex ourselves, but were told by accident following an amniocentesis. We also have the advantage of living abroad, so there were no curious relatives going "Ooooh, you've bought something blue/pink. I take it that it's a boy/girl".

I personally think it's nice to give everyone else a surprise, even if you want to know the sex yourselves. It's just my view, but I find it a tad more exciting when a baby is born whose sex I don't know than when one is born whose sex I have known for months.

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 21:17

And just WHO is Rhubarb supposed to be?

softmusk, you tell them it's the opposite and then at the last minute you say "nerr nerr, got you all! It's actually a boy/girl!" then watch as they all rush back to the shops to swap their baby clothes!

But I'm just evil like that. I told my mother that my baby was androgenous.

It's not so hard to keep quiet.

screaminghousewife · 17/10/2007 21:22

My friend did this, she wasn't very good at it tho', bless her. She kept referring to the baby as she and then getting all flustered before saying 'Oh or he'.

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 21:30

sabinar · 18/10/2007 08:57

I think I would have liked to have done this... maybe. But have discovered that my DH is absolutely hopeless at keeping baby related secrets (he doesn't see the point). So, we're telling whoever asks.

lemonaid · 18/10/2007 09:01

I read the thread title and thought "No, if you're pregnant people are going to have a pretty good idea that you've had sex..."

We have friends who've done this very successfully for each of their three children. And we did vaguely intend to do it when pregnant with DS, but soon discovered (within about 5 minutes ) that we were lousy at keeping secrets.

teenyweeny · 18/10/2007 09:28

We told everyone we weren't finding out, and we always intended to find out and keep the secret between ourselves. I am glad we found out, and it is great to share this with DH and be the only ones who know

number1yummymummy1987 · 18/10/2007 09:55

well me and my fiance couldnt find out as it costs 50 quid where we live and fiance isnt able to work and neither am i at the moment (had a bad pregnancy with lots of scary bleeds and complications) but its exciting not knowing as am 10 days overdue tomorrow and being induced. but my fiance wouldnt be able to keep it secret as tells his sister everything. THERE WAS A GAP IN THE CONVERSATION ONCE AND FIANCE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO SHARE THE FACT MY BOOBS HAD STARTED LEAKING WITH HIS SISTER....... REALLY CAN WE NOT HAVE ANY SECRETS LOL

ShrinkingViolet · 18/10/2007 10:00

I knew with all three DDs, but as my parents asked that we not tell them, we felt it only fair not to tell anyone. And I'd have felt awful if DD1 had thought she was getting a sister which turned out to be a brother (or vice versa). But it was fun listening to various relatives being "sure" they knew what sex each of them were .

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