Feeling really sorry for myself - a bit of a pity party

[Justtheskies]

I am now 36 weeks, and I have major concerns about having my baby. I’ve been trying to talk about this since my 20 week scan but I get rushed in and out so quickly its proved impossible.

I have a few areas of real concern about giving birth. I have a long history of back problems including a slipped disc. It’s very easy for me to injure myself and I honestly can’t see how contractions won’t hugely aggravate this. Plus, I think I’ll struggle to push due to fear of hurting my back (not consciously.) I can imagine I’ll be in labour for hours, then probably end up with an emergency section anyway.

My other reason is that I’m quite small in build and I do struggle with things like smears, even sex. I’ve had a few comments about being ‘tight’, I just can’t see how I have a hope or pushing a baby out. And I know people do but the fact is I don’t want to end up tearing and in agony.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I can get anyone to take me seriously?!

Hey, I don’t know who you can talk to aside from your midwife but I just want to say I’m smallbuild myself and also share the same fear. My friend who is even smaller than me had her baby a year ago naturally and she swears by water birth. Surprisingly labour wasn’t too bad for her she said (24hrs still so she wasn’t one of those who could be done in 2hrs or less).

Highly recommend the £39 hypnobirthing course by the positive birth company. I am feeling way less anxious about birth as a result.

I had an elective c-section because I have a slipped disc in my lower back. During pregnancy the pain was so bad that I was under the care of neurosurgeons and the pain team (run by anaesthetics). I had an epidural at 32 weeks for pain management (didn't work). Both specialists were unsure what effect a pushing stage could have on my back and so asked the obstetric team to do a c-section.

This is exactly what my concern is choosername, but no one will listen. I am also 40 so high risk on account of this anyway.

I’m sure you’re allowed to insist on an elective c section. Don’t give up!! Xxx