When to spill the beans?

[HeyDW96]

Hi all, I'm 11+5 today and having my 12 week scan, my question is do I wait until the results of the Edwards and Down's syndrome screening to tell people or does everyone just go ahead and tell all regardless? I am aware it's down to personal preference but I'm a first time mum so looking for opinions/experience! Would the sonographer tell me if they thought the risk was higher?

My plan was to wait until the screening results, but we ended up announcing the same evening as the scan.

Our parents, and a few people from our workplaces already knew, and I think mil was beside herself trying to keep it a secret still.

I waited until after to 20 week scan as that's the 'big scan'. I just didn't feel comfortable telling anyone so early at 12 weeks.

I waited until 20 week scan when they confirmed everything was okay.

I told some people at 6 weeks (closest friend), parents at 8-9 weeks, some other friends at 10 weeks after a scan. Will tell more people after 12 week scan

Thanks guys, our close friends and families know but with my work, it's been very hard to hide from people and I was thinking about just announcing it today after the scan!

I told my parents, close friends and work colleagues before 12 weeks, then wider friends after 12 week scan knowing the NT measurement was low. My husband wants to wait until 20 weeks to tell our joint friends and wider family. Personally I'd rather tell people, I had a mmc ealier in the year and ended up only sharing the miscarriage news rather than pregnancy which I found pretty shitty. Plus, if the 20 week scan showed issues, I would be a mess and wouldn't keep it secret so figure why keep the pregnancy secret until then? It's totally personal preference, but after going through a loss and feeling pretty alone, I think it's helpful to talk about all parts of pregnancy, even those without a happy ending.

I told work after I got the screening results (all fine). Mainly because I had spoken to the consultant and as I am higher risk, I knew I would be having more appointments so would need time off. If this wasn’t the case, I was planning to wait until after the 20 week scan

I was going to wait until the anomaly scan, which my hospital does at 22 weeks, just to make sure all is well. Because I’m working from home, it’s easier to hide it! I went for a private scan two weekends ago at 17 weeks which the consultant offered to do as an early anomaly scan, so have now told people after that scan was clear.

Immediate family on both our sides knew within days of the positive test.

I'm probably going to end up telling my line manager at 6 weeks (next week) because I've needed to go to the early pregnancy unit and I need to go again for a follow up. I know I need their support both for the extra appointments and anxiety (which obviously isn't great for my work efficiency). Will tell family and friends at 12 weeks.

First of all, hope your scan goes well!

It really is personal preference. We told both sets of parents straight away (around 6 weeks) and I had to tell work due to the nature of my job.
Friends and other family we told at 12 weeks after the scan. We did this before results though as they couldn't get baby to stay still enough to do the checks at the scan. Ended up having quad screening (blood test) at 14 weeks instead.

I told my family early on. Close friends/work around 13/14 weeks. And then everyone else after the 20 week scan

I just felt so paranoid about telling people too early just in case and I'm glad I waited

Regarding work, I told my line manager at 10 weeks (felt crap) and will tell HR at 12 weeks. I'm lucky that there are v clear processes and it wont impact on progress etc so no concerns there

I told everyone I would want to support me if it all went wrong as soon as I found out (at 8 weeks). So parents, closest friends and my manager at work.

Then after the 12 week scan, I have told people I speak to in my wider friendship/work acquaintance circle. (Not on social media so no big announcement in that sense)

If I were on social media, I wouldn’t announce until after the 20 week scan. We had a real scare with my sons 20 week scan and everyone knew we were finding out the gender, so I was getting messages asking if everything was ok etc because we hadn’t announced and it was awful.

I waited til after the screening because if there had been a problem I would have wanted to terminate and would not have wanted to have to announce that to lots of people. Actually I wouldn't want even my family sticking their oar in in that situation but that depends on how you deal with things best.