Loss of identity, planned but not planned pregnancy? Advice appreciated

[SM1790]

Hi all

I’ve recently joined because I’ve been doing frantic google searches to try and normalise my feelings and most always revert back to the same thing...talk to someone.

I’m 30 and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. My other half is older than me so I came off the pill around 5 months ago as we thought we might have some difficulty conceiving right away. We were careful for the first few months and I can pin point 2 occasions where we weren’t...fast forward 6 weeks and after missing my period (me putting it down to an irregular cycle after the pill) I’m now pregnant.

I can’t lie when I say it has come as a huge shock to me and I have had so many feelings in the last week since I found out. Most of them have been shock, guilt, sadness and a massive feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m worried I’m no longer me anymore (already) and that I’ll just be seen as another mum. I feel very young even though 30 is a perfectly acceptable age to get pregnant. I have a stable job and satisfied with where I am in my career. Me and my partner live together and have been together 5 years.
However I’m still finding this very hard to process. I suffer with health anxiety and usually would be googling everything there is to know about it all, but I haven’t touched anything baby related since I found out. It’s almost as if I’m burying my head. It doesn’t help that there has been a mix up with my doctors where they said a midwife would call me however nothing. I called today and now have to call the hospital for an appointment who haven’t answered so I’m no further on to knowing a predicted due date or any appointments.

Sorry this is so long, but I’m finding talking about this really hard. My mum and sister are over the moon for me and despite trying to be supportive I know they can’t understand how I’m not excited. I feel so guilty for not feeling like this as I know people struggle to conceive.

Has anyone else felt like this? Does this feeling subside? I’m anxious about telling friends family and work. I don’t think anyone thought this would be my time and I can’t help worrying what others will think too. I’m worried I won’t be able to cope when the baby is here and feel so out my depth x

Hi,
I couldn’t read and run.
Try not to take all these thoughts too seriously.. your hormones are on another level at the moment which causes all sorts of wierd and wonderful changes to your brain, thoughts, feelings of self, energy levels.. I honestly felt like I was possessed. Pregnancy really is the most amazing but overwhelming time!
I look back and think that I loved it and miss it but I was looking at some of the messages I sent to my OH Last night (whilst pregnant) and I really was off the scale.
My first child is about to be 1 and I can remember the start of my pregnancy like it was yesterday..
It’s so normal to be feeling the way you do and analysing everything as it is a really life changing experience.
Speak to your midwife, friends family, voice your feelings on here with other moms to be and if you can get onto some antenatal classes that would be great too.
Pregnancy is the most wierd and wonderful time.. it never feels like the adverts and perfect moms portray but I promise you you will feel differently one day!
Congratulations and hang in there momma bear! 😃
You are doing the most amazing thing growing a human and you can do this xxx