Miscarriage at 12 Weeks - Would Love to Hear Rainbow Baby Stories

[g1992]

Hi everyone.

I posted on here a couple of days ago about some spotting and cramps I was getting at 12 weeks.

Unfortunately, we got bad news at the ultrasound. I am heartbroken.

I had my D&C today and looking for any and all signs of hope. The hubby and I have decided we want to try as soon as it's safe/I'm emotionally ready.

This was my first pregnancy.

Would love to hear rainbow baby stories.
xx

So sorry for your loss. Make sure you're very kind to yourself for the next few weeks.
I had a mmc at 9.5 weeks in 2016. We conceived again 2 months later and she is now 3.5 and sleep next to me.
I then had a blighted ovum in 2018. It took a year to get pregnant again, and she was born in the first lockdown and is asleep on the other side!
All the best with everything.

So sorry that happened. Same thing happened to me at 12+ weeks and its devastating. I waited a couple of months as thats what they recommended to me after the d and c and then got pregnant the 2nd month of trying and he is now 13 years old . I wish you all the best xxx

Hi OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's devastating and so cruel to 'get to' that magic 12 weeks only to hear that news. My deepest condolences, my heart is with you. I know your pain.

I had a missed miscarriage last August. I found out at my 12 week scan that there was no heartbeat and baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I'd had no idea or indication and it floored both of us. It was our first. Cue all kinds of worries - was it something I did? Is something wrong with my body or eggs? Is something wrong with us as a genetic match? Etc. Etc

But I am now writing this post to you at 2am because I'm awake feeding my baby boy who was born last month. The pregnancy was hard psychologically at times because I was terrified of it happening again, but here he is, and so far he's perfect. I used a forum on here of women also pregnant after loss for support, they were wonderful and most of us have now had our babies. Several of them were also MMC. I'm pretty sure there are even TTC after MMC and pregnant after MMC threads specifically here somewhere if you have a look.

I completely know the feeling of where you're at now and it's so so difficult. Give yourself space to mourn what you've lost, and make sure your partner does what he needs to do too (and you might need different things). Look after one another and talk. Use support and don't bottle up how you're feeling. And in any future pregnancy - know that every pregnancy is different, take it in bitesize chunks, each week as it comes, and know that you can do this.

Sending you a huge hug xxxx

@Helbelle75 definitely trying to take it easy and give myself time to come to terms with it but also figuring out how to get back to daily life. How to find hope and positivity in the midst of all of this.

Thanks you for sharing your story with me, I'm so so happy for you and I hope that I will be able to have my own rainbow baby.

@littlenickyy61 it really is horrible, isn't it? Still recovering from the d and c but I'm hoping to do the same as you as I want to try again as soon as it is safe to. I also have heard a lot that conceiving within 3 months of a miscarriage improves the chances for the pregnancy to be healthy.

@Hagster thank you so much for your kind words. They really do mean the world, especially coming from someone who has gone through this terrible thing too and managed to find a rainbow at the end.

Really appreciate you ladies. You've all given me a lot of hope.
xxx

Hi @g1992 I'm sorry to hear of your loss and can only echo what others have said about giving yourself time to grieve and being kind to yourself. I would also say try to keep communicating with your partner, I tend to find that dad's struggle but try to bottle things up to protect us from their feelings when we have our own to deal with... This can be tough to cope with - I felt like he didn't care which was so far from the truth but once I spoke to him about how I was feeling he opened up and admitted he was trying to protect me.

I personally had 5 miscarriages. The most recent was in November last year where I was diagnosed with a MMC at 8 weeks at a private scan. However...I am currently sat writing this while cuddling my 2 month old baby girl. We found out I was pregnant again in early January (think we conceived over Xmas time while I had let my hair down and relaxed a little) and my daughter was born at the beginning of September 🥰
Pregnancy was tough, I'm not going to lie... Anxiety was high throughout but my husband was super supportive and I found a wonderful group of ladies on here that were all pregnant with rainbow babies too and we formed our own little supportive family lol.

Don't give up hope, allow yourself time to recover and grieve first but I wish you all the best of luck for the future and hope you get your very own rainbow baby too x

I had a blighted ovum with my first and found out at the 12 week scan. Awful as we were so excited we'd already told close family. Having to break the bad news was terrible.

I think the being more fertile after a miscarriage thing is a bit of a myth rather than scientific fact but there is nothing to stop you trying again the moment you feel emotionally ready. I didn't really feel happy again until I conceived again 6 months later by choice).

The experience did overshadow my second pregnancy a bit as I felt so worried the whole way through but I now have a 17mo and heavily pregnant again.

I think the thing that shocked me is how common miscarriage was and how many women go through it. You will find a wonderful supportive community here. Go easy on yourself there is no reason you won't go on to get your rainbow baby.

Very sorry for your loss. I lost mine at 12 weeks. I got pregnant again about six month's later. We went through a phase of eating seeds and nuts, using ovulation device etc, then threw in the towel over Christmas to find I was pregnant in the new year, when we didn't think it could be possible ( way off ovulation dates). It's horrible to go through. I barely moved through the 2nd pregnancy I was so terrified. But have a strapping 15 year old now. Hang in there x

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My story is 3 MMC, 1 Stillbirth, 2 healthy crazy beautiful boys.

I've been in a dark place, but yes for the majority of people there is a light. For us it was worth fighting for.

Hi @g1992

I'm another one from the rainbow baby graduates group. Had a MMC last year with my first pregnancy and am currently feeding my 1 week old baby boy. As others have said, allow yourself some time to grieve this pregnancy and don't put pressure on yourself to conceive again immediately. Like you my immediate thoughts were of conceiving again asap. But then I decided to wait and allow myself time mentally and physically before trying again. When I had my first 12 week scan with my son, the sonographer could see I was terrified of same thing happening again. But she gave me a friendly but firm talking to. Said by waiting a little my body was absolutely ready for this pregnancy, and this was a different egg, different baby, and what happened before had nothing to do with this pregnancy. What has happened you is a terrible thing, and my heart breaks for you as I know how it feels. But please be assured that this is far more common than people talk about or realise, and your rainbow baby will certainly come. In the meantime be kind to yourself and communicate openly with your DP as they will be grieving too and likely trying not to show it to be strong for you. X

So sorry to hear your story. I'm 37 years old another rainbow baby graduate, I had two miscarriages last year (c 8weeks) but in September, around 2 and a half years after I started trying to conceive, had my beautiful rainbow baby India. Don't give up hope, miscarriage is a tough experience and it can feel terribly lonely but there are some strong support networks online. I recommend the book 'miscarriage what every woman should know' as worthwhile reading. Good luck! xx

Im 42 had a mmc last week at 11 weeks heartbroken would I be crazy to try again or am I too old now im 43 in August are the odds just against me and its not meant too be 😒