First pregnancy - what do we NOT need

[Nesski]

Hello! There are so many 'must-haves' these days with all these bloggers and the internet is poised to only sell you more things, who knows how our parents managed back then! As an example, I'm not sure if I need to buy a cot and just purchase a mattress for the baby after a few months, after nailing everything to the wall of course.

Could I ask you ladies to help give us first time mums advice on

1. what you have regretted buying/could probably do without
2. what we should wait to buy until after the birth to arrive

I'm not planning on buying anything until 1/2 months before the baby is due! Any advice would be appreciated!

A bit controversial- but don't go out and buy a travel system. So expensive and a waste of money in my opinion! We never once attached the car seat to our pram. We were kindly gifted our travel system (bugaboo fox) by my mum and sis use it occasionally, but we bought a babyzen yo-yo as we thought we were going to travel to Australia (thanks lockdown ) and we ended up using it all of the time, and will keep using it until our little one is 3/4. Most of my friends have already sold their travel systems/'big' prams in favour of smaller buggies, and we only had our babies last year.

Would also agree that Moses baskets are pointless.

You don’t need mummy bloggers. Since they’re mostly only doing it to get free stuff they don’t need enough to pay for themselves, it’s safe to assume that it’s a pretty superfluous part of parenting.

Choosing to follow them is entirely different.

Everyone has different ideas about what you do and don't need. So I found it easier to go back to basics -

Baby needs somewhere to sleep
Baby needs something to poo and wee in
Baby needs something to wear
Baby needs something to eat
Baby needs transport

You could go really stripped back and do bedsharing, carry baby into shower with you when it needs a wash, cloth nappy with terry towel and exclusively breastfeed.

If you have a car then you will need a car seat.

Didn’t need:

• nursery furniture - why get a small wardrobe - a normal sized one will be more useful and much cheaper!
• nappy bin - just use a normal bin and empty regularly (unless you can’t do that for some reason)
• loads of bottles and/or bf equipment until you know how you’re going to feed. I exclusively bf but bought bottles and also pumping stuff before DS was born (electric pump, milk storage bags etc and breast pads). I didn’t leak at all and couldn’t be bothered expressing/pumping. DS refused a bottle so every feed he had was direct from my boobs (and free!). You can get all that stuff quickly on next day delivery so no need to splash out in advance until you know what you’ll do.
• Moses basket. They only last for a short time, babies usually hate them anyway and you can use pram carrycot for downstairs.

Co sleeper cot is great for upstairs.

• sling. We loved ours but bought it once the baby was here so we could try it out with him in it.
• high chair and weaning stuff - don’t need until baby is older. Don’t bother with baby blenders, ice cube trays etc - your baby might refuse purée and even if not a normal one will do.
• loads of clothes in 0-6 month sizes - you will get these as gifts! Also don’t bother with outfits for under 6 months - keep them in sleepsuits - easier for you and more comfy for them. Snowsuits/pramsuits also waste of time (hard to put on and can’t wear in car seat anyway), but the tuppence and crumble star wrap is great.

Useful things:

• good in ear thermometer. I always say this on these threads but for me it’s essential. If you think your newborn may have a temp you will need to be able to check it immediately and accurately. Everything else you can wait for Amazon prime but not this! The Braun ones are good.

Clothes.

Just get one or 2 pieces.

The amount of presents you get is insane (and lovely)

With that in mind get an empty spreadsheet printed off so when the post arrives you can quickly jot down who sent you what.

@Miltonkeynesmummy I love the spreadsheet idea. I remember what I’d do for gifts as well - snapped a pic of the gift next to the card, in case I forgot who bought what I could just check the cards.

My worst/least used buys were:
-even though I wanted to bf I thought I would buy a set of steriliser and 12 tommee tippee bottles as they were on offer in mothercare. I thought I would use them ‘eventually’. I bf the whole time as we loved it and then she went straight to cups! So total waste of money.

• scratch mits - I hated them ! As they always came off. I recommend getting sleepsuits with fold over hands.

• as cute as they are don’t get too many ‘proper outfits’ for a young baby (under 6 months) as they are just not comfortable and a pain to change!

• don’t buy a single teddy or jellycat as you will be given 10000 and won’t know what to do with them 😂

Congrats ! X

Re scratch mits - my DD was in NNU and they recommended using socks as they stayed on better than the mits, and they were right!
Not all babygrows have the fold over bits

Top and tail bowl. I never really understood when it’s meant to get used, so never used it.

Stuff I never had for my 4 dc:
Baby bath
Specific swaddle blankets/robes
Nappy bin
Dummies
Jumperoo
Pram
Scratch mitts
Coats
Sleeping bags
Changing unit for first child
Moses basket
Outfits for those first months

However I found my bouncer chair invaluable, it was only a £30 Graco one and used for naps, and to give my arms a rest. ( lasted all four so was a bargain)
Bath seat for the bath or bathed with me.
Scratch mitts come with the suits and I found they stopped scratching themselves after the first weeks.
Hats were a necessity for mine, all tiny babies and needed outside as they lose a lot of heat from their heads. I used simple cotton ones though.
A sling was a must but I never purchased until after baby arrived and used John Lewis as no library near me. They let me try before buying.

I disagree with pp that a moses basket and travel system aren't useful. I got lots of use out of mine.

One thing I got which we didn't need was a baby carrier. DS was 10 lbs 3 born so I think we used it twice.

Scratch mitts are pointless. They never stay on. Up to 6 months sleepsuits all have fold over bits for hands and if that isn't enough most people I know just use socks as they are much more effective.

Hats. We barely used hats and yet we have a ridiculous number of them. Avoid. You'll get enough gifted to you to cover any usage you may have.

Outfits. This might just be me, but for around the first 6 months, my babies live in sleepsuits/vests and leggings. I avoid T-shirt's and dresses. To be honest jumpers and cardigans are also annoying but a bit more necessary. Basically I hate anything that isn't buttoned down as it always just ends up in their armpits from all the lifting and lying. I just can't.

Shoes. Don't bother, they don't stay on properly. If you really want something shoe like try moccasin socks.

Top and tail bath is basically just two bowls. If you also want to avoid getting a baby seat for the bath tub, just fill the bath a tiny amount and have baby lie in it.

Changing table. Once babies can move this is just a hazard.

Moses basket. Extremely limited usage, expensive and no guarantees baby will even like it. If you get a travel system, carry cots are fine to use for naps, some are also night safe.

Going against the main opinion here, we love our changing table (although it is a unit with drawers for DDs pyjamas underneath), she's currently 13 month and we still use it every night after bath time. We got a skip hop moby baby bath that we used to fill inside the bath to save us having to actually fill our bath every night. It has a sit up support in it so you can be a bit more hands free with it. DD was never sicky so bibs and muslins were rarely used until we started weaning. I've also still got a bag of cotton wool pads and a bottle of baby oil that I bought when pregnant that I never have and probably never will use!

I never bought a change table. Just had a change mat downstairs and one upstairs.

Bathed mine in the sink when they were tiny. I did buy one of those fold up baby baths though.

No point buying shoes until they can walk.

I never bought a bath thermometer just used my elbow.

For my first I bought a microwave sterilise, found it really faffy. With my second I bought a Milton tank, I can’t tell you how much less of a faff that is. Just take things out as you need them and change the water every 24 hours, that’s it.

Changing tables always divide people. You can use the top of a chest of drawers or buy the IKEA sniglar one for £20 if you think might be handy, so it’s not a huge outlay if you end up not using it.

We got the cheap IKEA one and it was good for nighttime changes for the newborn but after those stopped a few months in and baby was rolling it was safer and easier to do it on the floor. If you’ve got mobility issues then might need one for longer I guess.

@Stuckinstressville I would have loved a space saving collapsible baby

Ah man! Baby bath !!!!