Feeling hopeless because of the amount of carbs I am eating

[Carbmonster00]

I'll start from the beginning so that I hope it gives you a understanding; I grew up with an alcoholic mother who had bipolar and took everything out on me from the ages of 12 to 22 when she then passed from suicide. My Dad wasn't around. She would put me down and body shame me often, calling me fat and ugly when I wasn't fat but that ultimately led me to becoming fat as I'd sit in my room and eat all my emotions and fear and i ballooned in size, giving her more ammo to attack me.

From around the age of 23 I started taking my health seriously, I joined a gym, learnt about nutrition and shed nearly 5 stone in just over a year. Since then I fluctuate between 9.5stone - 10.5stone (UK size 10-12), and I am 5"6 but I am never happy with my image. I have that voice in my head most of the time telling me I'm not good enough and I'm still fat so much that I have suffer with body dysmorphia. I have a counsellor I've seen for the best part of 10 years and I'm forever WIP. The last few years I have gotten so much better in my mind.

However, I am 6 weeks pregnant today and for the past two weeks my hunger had been out of control, eating everything in sight and naturally that makes me feel even worse in myself but I thought this is new to me, do what your body needs and it will soon pass. But as of 3 days ago, my sickness has arrived and if I am not vomiting, I'm struggling to stay awake but it seems the only food I can stomach are carbs and fatty foods. Bacon sandwiches, super noodles, cheese, pasta, crisps. I've tried vegetables, smoothies etc but they make me feel worse. So all I have or am eating is bad foods and I can't exercise as I am so wiped out.

I'm currently 10stone6, the heaviest i've been in a while and i'm getting really down about my eating habits. I don't want to go up numerous dress sizes because of the carb attacks but at the same time I also want to give my body want its wanting.

To be honest I don't even know what my question is, I've come on here looking for similar situations. Is this normal? Will my baby still get nutrients? Will I be ginormous?

Don't stress! I tried eating healthily having smoothies and 5 fruit/veg a day when I found out I was pregnant but the extra fibre made my IBS so much worse I've gone back to my normal diet (mostly carbs!) I do try to have egg for breakfast, soup, sweetcorn or beans with a meal but I'm really not having 5 portions. Try to take a vitamin and try your best to improve your diet. People have done worse things through pregnancy (smoking, drinking, drugs) and babies have been fine. Your diet isn't ideal but don't beat yourself up over it baby will be fine. The midwives will be monitoring baby's size too but do speak to them if your struggling. Exercise wise try going for a walk or exercises at work such as getting up from desk and walking a bit more or walking on spot etc maybe aim for 10/15 minutes at a time.

Just try your best to make small changes and don't be too hard on yourself, this pregnancy stuff is exhausting! X

I had hideous nausea when I was pregnant and could only stomach steak bakes from greggs and ginger biscuits!

@Carbmonster00 don't beat yourself up. You're not really a carb monster either, you've had a tough time of it - now you're pregnant which isn't exactly easy and you've been eating more carbs for maybe a couple of weeks... I'm sure many of us have done worse! It sounds like you made massive progress and you're starting from a pretty healthy weight. You don't need to worry about not being perfect - none of us is!

FWIW I couldn't eat any fruit or veg when my MS was at its worst (apart from 2 unexpected days of broccoli cravings at about 9 weeks) and survived on bagels and jacket potatoes for nearly 2 months. My blood pressure was so low that I couldn't walk more than a mile at a time and I wasn't exactly looking my best (I'm not sure what the "pregnancy glow" is but on me it's more like "pregnancy sweat"). I always took a multivitamin as that reassured me that baby would get everything they need, although I'm pretty sure they take everything they need from you and the multivitamins aren't necessary. It just made me feel better! From about 12 weeks I started wanting veggies again and now at 19 weeks am back to a much more varied diet, although having way too much cheese because meat still makes me sick (and I am a crap veggie chef)! I'm just eating as healthily as I can and changing it day to day as my crazy pregnant body changes its mind about what it will tolerate.

In summary:
This is normal
Your baby will get nutrients
You're pregnant so ginormous is likely at some point! But your appetite will probably change as your pregnancy progresses - obviously for those women who can eat healthy foods that's lovely but try not to overthink it too much this early and there are loads of us who can only stomach carbs for at least some of our pregnancy.

I understand your background puts you on high alert. I think it’s very common in early pregnancy to only want beige junk and also to want to constantly graze to help stop the sickness. Salted crisps, bagels, etc.