Talk to me about four year gaps

[abitfunny]

Currently 16 weeks pregnant with our second son. Our first will be approaching four as little one arrives. Had a couple of comments re the age gap, which we never saw as an issue? If anything I'm thinking (hoping) it will be slightly easier. Our son is so excited and often talks about what he will get up to with his little brother.

Would love to hear about some of your experiences x

I have a just turned 4 year old and a 9 month old. I find the gap works really well my 4 year old has become a lot more independent dressing herself keeping herself entertained. She adores her brother, never gets jealous and is always playing with him and making him laugh.

exactly the same as you @toptreeroots1 my DS will be 5 in February and I'm currently about 6 weeks preg with number 2.

Do I wish for a smaller age gap? Yes.
Have we been trying for yonks and had two miscarriages? Also yes!

It is what it is, all families are different, different age gaps and different personalities. I hope it will pan out for us!

I have a 3.5 year age gap, so a bit less than you'll have.

The biggest positive is that we have 30 hours funded childcare so we're continuing to send DC1 to nursery 3 days a week while I'm on maternity leave; it's still an expense but less than it would have been before he turned 3. The days when he's at nursery provide much needed time to relax with the baby (in contrast with the days he's at home which are exhausting!)

Other positives of a 3+ year age gap are that DC1 is potty trained - he's had a few night time accidents since DC2 was born but not for a while, touch wood - and sleeps reliably.

OTOH, DC1's behaviour has been extremely challenging. I think this is partly to do with his age and personality, and not just because of having a new sibling. I do wonder if a slightly older child might be a bit better at regulating their emotions and a bit easier to reason/negotiate with - who knows?!

Anyway that was rather rambly but I think your age gap will work out nicely, especially as DC1 will be at school for the second half of your maternity leave 👍

My DH and SIL are about 3.5 yrs apart. I don't think they really played together as children, but they're quite close now as adults.

My DSis is 4 years younger than me too (but we have a brother in the middle). Again as children we weren't very close, tended to play either all 3 together or the older two or younger 2 together, but we get on very well now. I was closer to my brother as children but probably closer to her now.