Mini meltdown

[CMAYF11]

So we had our 12 week scan on Monday 2nd Nov
We told my husbands parents that evening.
Yesterday my husband comes home from his mums with this book she had given him.
I burst into tears!!! I'm already wobbling about breastfeeding and this just made me feel awful. And for it to be the first thing she gives me regarding the baby!!
It was written in 1978!!!!! I'm guessing breastfeeding hasn't changed that much but it just felt far too personal for her to assume that breastfeeding is the only option.

That is a bit insensitive :/ whether she meant to be pushy or thought she was genuinely doing something helpful, it’s a bit weird to think that other people are thinking about your body like that. You’ve got plenty of time to decide how you want to feed the baby without feeling pressure to go one way or another.
I’ve decided I’m bottle feeding, and even though I know it’s my concern only and no one else’s, I still feel awkward when the subject turns to baby feeding in case anyone asks me if I’m going to breastfeed and I don’t know what to say. Even though I’m totally entitled to say no and not have to explain myself, it’s a very personal thing to be talking to other people about. You probably feel like there’s some huge expectation hanging over you now and you really shouldn’t feel like that, it’s 100% your choice to make.

Firstly, congratulations!

Secondly, unless there's background behaviour from mil I think she's probably just trying to be helpful with no ill intent, even if it was a little insensitive. Pregnancy hormones can be blamed here I think. I say this as someone who assumed they would breastfeed until a year and had to stop at 11 days, a decision I still get the odd ping of guilt about, but ds is a healthy, happy and very bright nearly 2 and a half year old.

All feeding choices are valid, you've got a while before you need to decide and whatever choice you make is absolutely fine. I would ask dh to have a quiet word with mil along the lines of thank you so much, but just so you know, CMayf isn't sure what she would like to do regarding feeding yet.

Aw I'm sure she meant well, she probably grabbed whichever of her own maternity books she could find to give to you? The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is a great book if you want to read something else about breastfeeding before you decide either way, it's basically generations of breastfeeding experience going up to present day.

Unless there's a backstory she was likely just excited and said something like "ohh I've got a baby book she can have!" For something to give you and express her excitement.

Man alive, burn her at the stake!

Don't let this offend you because this is minor in the world of breastfeeding- midwives and health visitors still push breastfeeding heavily so be prepared for it to come from all angles and to keep your stress levels low, don't let it get to you, fed is best and a healthy and happy mum makes for a healthy and happy baby! If you want to bottle feed then stick to your guns about it!