Telling Midwife about previous termination

[Torrancie]

Hello, if you can help me to make this tricky decision as you guys are the only people I feel I can tell my predicament to..

When I was 20 I began a relationship with my now husband. I decided to do the 'sensible' thing and go on the pill. Turns out we must have jumped the gun and I found myself pregnant. At 4 weeks I requested a medical termination (pills) I had to wait another week so at 5 weeks the pregnancy ended and I was given an Anti D injection as my blood type is O negative.

My question is: is it medically necessary to inform my midwife of this now I am happily 6 weeks pregnant (age 30)? No sensitisation would have occurred as I was given Anti D so I can't see what use this information would be to them. I asked for the termination not to be put on my GP records but will they show up elsewhere and nullify the fact I've kept this information to myself. My husband supported me through it all so he is in the loop but I really do not want to overshadow my 'first' pregnancy by having it noted that it is my second.

I know midwives are trained to be sympathetic but I really have a strong desire for the past not to be discussed again as long as it is medically safe to do so.

Any anecdotal experience or knowledge will be so gratefully received! Thanks

It would probably not be relevant if your blood type is rhesus positive. As OP is rhesus negative it could be medically relevant.

What OP needs to know is her DH's blood type. If he's negative, then their child will be too, so no issue. If he's positive, then it's really important to tell them.

No sensitisation would have occurred as I was given Anti D

I’m sorry OP but you can’t know this for certain.

I am rhesus negative, I also had a termination years ago - you absolutely need to tell the midwife, yes.

Had a abortion at 17 and then fell pregnant at 21 with my now dp and he did know about it (even though wasn't his) first pregnancy my midwife knew but I didn't go into my folder as apparently it didn't have to go in. But with my second my midwife did have it saved in my notes under previous pregnancy but they already had all the medical details anyway without me saying

@Queenbee95

The midwife will know you’ve had a termination. It’s all in your notes.

This depends. Not if the termination was done privately.

I'm sorry you find it hard to disuss but it really is important to be 100% honest with medical practitioners. Your midwife won't bat an eyelid. Congratulations!

I told her and she put STOP in my notes and never mentioned it again. It's not a big deal really (imo) and you should be grown up enough to mention something like that that's relevant medical information.
Lots and lots of women have terminations, for many different reasons

For me she just wrote "second pregnancy, first child" and left it at that. Every one who saw my notes thought I had a mc.

I contemplated not telling since its something really hurtful for me but I wanted them to have all information necessary or not

Had a termination when i just turned 17. Not proud of it but would never pretend it never happened especially to a medical professional who i am supposed to trust.
Never ever has anyone commented, asked further questions or judged.
You should tell your midwife. It would be a good start...

Do some of you realise that in some countries in the uk, not a far flung country in the developing world, women can be sentenced to life in prison for terminating a pregnancy?

Do some of you realise that even in England, Wales and Scotland, terminations can be a difficult issue to discuss? It isn’t about facing judgement from the midwife but if that’s written into pregnancy notes and OH happens to see it, that could potentially be somewhat awkward.

I was not comfortable disclosing it, so I didn’t.

As with most things, the one who gets to decide that is me.

OP says that her husband is fully aware. The antiquated laws in NI are a scandal but they are not the issue here.

But that’s not the point emily. The fact that a uk country has the laws should tell people it isn’t as casual an issue as a broken leg would be, and the disingenuous ‘well, why WOULDN’T you’ are unfair.

I think anyone who is coming across as casual is doing so to try and reassure OP and if she weren’t rhesus negative she would have received very different responses.

If she were in NI I suspect she would have said as much.

emily it’s not about where she is, geographically.

It is about the fact that it is a highly emotive and difficult subject, so much so that even in the UK, you can be imprisoned for life for doing it.

That is horribly wrong. But it is something that some women wish to keep to themselves and that is entirely understandable.

Why are you ignoring the fact that the termination is medically relevant, given that this is OP’s only question?

I’m not intending to ignore that, I’m pointing out that there are understandable reasons why someone may wish to keep this information to themselves.

OP should disclose the pregnancy even if she does not disclose the reason why it ended.

@Ahorsecalledseptember

Nobody said otherwise.
Nobody said it wasn't her choice.
She asked for opinions and anectodal experiences and we gave it.
We are simply trying to share our own experiences to let her know that if it's judgment or questions she is worried about, it won't happen and she can safely share with MW. Or that we think it might be medically relevant.

No need for your patronising/dramatic posts.

If you don't want to specifically say, can you not just say you've had one previously unsuccessful pregnancy and leave it at that? That way you're fully covered