PLEASE HELP! Struggling after termination and complications - please don't be nasty

[Amyt1234]

Hello, I'll try and keep it as short as possible but is quite long winded.
I found out I was pregnant in Sept but already have two children with medical needs/chromosome abnormalities and accepted the best thing for everybody would be to have a termination (wasn't an easy decision at all!).
I went to the clinic and came home with tablets for a medical abortion. Took them & a day later, Oct 3rd, started to feel strange with heart palpitations, weakness etc. An ambulance came and took me to hospital and I spent 3 days in having tests but was eventually discharged with no cause found. At home I was so weak, couldn't move out of bed or off the sofa without going dizzy. A week later I went back for a scan and had to have surgery under GA for RPOC. Stayed in overnight as was very drowsy following. Came home and still didn't feel 100%. I've lost about a stone in weight but I have been eating. It's been nearly 5 weeks since this all started and I'm still not feeling 'normal'. I tried to do some shopping yesterday as it's my partners birthday soon but after a couple of shops I just felt so weak and exhausted and needed to sit down, had a bit of food and felt a little better, went to two more shops then came home. I had to have the copper coil fitted a few days ago as emergency contraception as the condom split during intercourse (first time since beginning of Oct). I've had blood tests since and everything came back normal. Is there anything I can do to help myself get through this 'phase'. For the first 3 weeks I had awful diarrhea (sorry if tmi). I feel awful about what happened but also know I made the right decision. Please no hurtful comments as everything seems hard enough as it is. I just need to get better so I can be the best mum and partner I can be.

Hi, I just want to say I’m sorry you are having to go through this. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision for you. Perhaps it’s the side effects of the pills or just your body going through changes before getting back to normal. After my mc earlier this year, it took my body 3 months before getting back to normal. It felt different during that time. I do hope you feel better soon.

I have no advice regarding how you are feeling as I've never been in your position but just wanted to send you some love and kindness as it sound like you are really going through it right now. Take care xx

@Amyt1234 firstly, I'm sorry you're going through this. Please don't feel guilt, you made a decision that was right for you, your children, and your future. Never feel bad about that.

It makes me sad that you have to specify for people not to be nasty in their comments, this speaks volumes for how people behave online.

I can't really offer any advice other than take care of yourself. I had a termination by a similar method around 20 years ago and I don't remember feeling any of the things you've described. If the doctors have given you the all clear, just go easy and try not to overdo it if possible. Any niggling feeling, whip yourself back off to the hospital ASAP.

Can’t help with the medical side of things but just wanted to send you my best wishes. Awful to feel so unwell after so many weeks. I hope you are able to get to the bottom of what is still causing your symptoms and feel better soon.
Be kind to yourself. X

No one will make a hurtful comment here, this is a supportive place. It sounds like you made exactly the right decision for your family, but I'm sorry you've become so unwell with it. I don't have much advice for the medical side of things, except to keep chasing your GP up as this definitely doesn't sound normal, but I just wanted to send you some support. Have you had a full blood count to check your various hormone/vitamin levels as well?

I'm sorry you feel so weak and ill op

It could be the after affects of the hormones or the ga, or you could have coincidentally had Covid-19 (dizziness, weakness, palpitations) at the same time. I'd go and see your GP or get an on-line/phone appt with them if possible?

I would go back to your GP about how you are feeling it sounds awful for you.

Please don't feel guilty about the decision you made or worry about what people might say. This was a decision you had every right to make and you chose termination as the right decision for you and your family and there is nothing wrong with that. I am expecting my second after trying for a while and whilst I'm thrilled with this pregnancy I fear becoming accidentally pregnant with a 3rd in the future as I don't think I'd cope and we couldn't provide well for three children so it would impact the first two's lives in a way I wouldn't be comfortable with. I am so glad abortion is an option for women here.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments!
I spoke to the GP today and he said it's anxiety but I don't agree. FBC came back normal but I can't shrug the feeling something else is going on but I feel like banging my head against a brick wall. Take today for example.. I had a bit of running around to do, took my son to school then my daughter to a different nursery, picked my son up for an appt (diagnosis of autism, I should feel anxiety right but I was a little upset then accepted it) took my son to school, spoke to my nan who cheered me up, came home and did an hour and a half cleaning (I felt so good, dancing to music, being productive), picked my son up from school still in good spirits, went home and was fine, chatted on the phone to a friend then went to sort out some of my sons toys with him & after about 15 mins upstairs that same feeling hit of extreme lethargy, heartbeat started racing so I went downstairs and ate a couple of biscuits and an orange, felt a little better and not as weak, my partner had to take us to pick our daughter up and came home and just feel so tired, eyes burning, I don't feel anxious or depressed, just a bit fed up. Oh I wish I could feel normal again! I've gone from 63kg to 57.1kg in a month despite eating 3 meals a day. GP has arranged some more blood tests (liver, vit d, diabetes) but won't be until nearly 2 weeks time. Silly as well because I'll go to sleep tonight about 10/11 and know I'll be up from 4/5 tossing and turning. Oh I wish I could have answers 😪

I was just a little worried someone may say something nasty and make me question the decision I made although I know it was the right one ❤

Have you had your iron levels checked? I know they can be linked to feeling of lack of energy. Hope you feel better soon.

Doctors do have this tendency to write of anything that involves weight loss and isn't easily explained as 'anxiety' if you're female

Iron levels have been checked a few times and appear normal and it's so frustrating because I have suffered with anxiety before but this just feels different and I'm struggling to do normal day to day things that I've always done before!
I just don't know what to do anymore or who to turn to, everyone close to me agrees this isn't normal for me 😔

Hey, just felt like a little rant if anyone is there to listen/talk to? Things are a tiny bit better and it's getting closer to my blood tests and I'm really hoping something shows as at least I'll have some sort of idea what's going on.
I tried exercising a little on Sunday.. bad idea! Literally took me off my feet for the rest of the day and I was in quite a lot of pain in my muscles for the next 3, it was only a Joe Wicks P.E video with the kids.
I'm falling asleep like a baby but wake up often and struggle to go back to sleep properly, it's driving me crazy!
I'm doing things to try and keep myself busy/occupied/happy but keep getting intense mind fog and extreme fatigue even though I'm not doing too much (learnt my lesson on Sunday). It was that bad I was struggling to keep my eyes open on the way to get my little boy from school, I swear at times I was pushing the pram with my eyes closed. I feel awful as well because I was so happy to see him and find out how his day had been but felt half asleep.
I really hope this goes - it's my partners birthday in a couple weeks and Christmas and I just want to be right for them! I haven't even hardly brought anything which isn't like me AT ALL, I just can't think properly and get overwhelmed when thinking about it all and then a mental block smashes down and then I've got to do something like washing/dinner/bedtime and find it put off for another couple of days. I've just had enough! Hope everyone is okay

Hello OP, I'm Pleased you are feeling a little better, I really hope you make a full recovery soon! Sorry i don't really have any decent advice but i really hope you get better in time for your partners birthday and Christmas

Thank you VioletSunset!

I hope theblood tests find something. I've had brain fog in the past from vit D deficiency - maybe try some supplements? Took about 6 weeks to go. Hopefully they are testing that. Also maybe your thyroid. Good luck

@Quentinwinters thank you, I hope they do too, at least I'll have something to work with!
I'm having broken sleep every night, I have no problem in going to sleep but wake up half way through the night tossing and turning. I stayed in bed for a couple extra hours this morning and when I got up I felt even worse!
I've spoken to BPAS and they want to do a scan next week to check for any RPOC but I doubt it will show anything as I've had a negative pregnancy test and no bleeding.
I feel as though the Dr's must think I'm a little crazy with being so persistent but I just want to feel like me again.
I'm also going to request access to or a copy of my blood test results and see if my iron is on the lower end of normal, I wonder if supplements may help but obviously don't want to take something without anything to go on.
They're checking my Vit D, thyroid, diabetes and liver function. I also requested for B12 and magnesium through an online form but haven't heard anything back so unsure if they will test or not. Next step may be an online blood test.
Thank you for replying ❤

It's crazy how I get out of breath and heart racing from walking up the stairs to go to the toilet, putting some washing in or walking my son to school at 2mph but finding out my son had autism and dealing with someone very close to me fainting didn't send me into 'anxiety'

I agree with pp though, docs v quick to assign "anxiety" to women

I had a termination this way about 15 years ago. Tablets and off you pop was their attitude.
Just made sure I was wearing a pad for the journey home.
Well I ended up almost fainting and was taken to hospital by ambulance.
I also had retained products, which they removed.
I was home a few hours later and felt back to my old self, it was wonderful.

It makes me think there might be something else happening, but how you describe sounds like RP.

It's so frustrating when you know it's not that but the more you push the more anxious you seem, can't win!
I did have retained products and had surgery to remove them just over a week after tablets but still haven't felt right, there couldn't still be something there could there?

for you.
Please do seek medical help if you don't feel better, I've had an erpc and felt fine straight away so please do get checked if you get worse x

@leslieYep I'm sorry to hear of your experience, its not right is it! Im glad you got sorted and felt better :)

Thank you @JanewaysBun, I just feel like I'm going around in circles and they just keep using the anxiety card, I dont want to waste their time as I know there's a lot going on at the moment, hopefully I get an answer and things improve

I felt like this after horrible morning sickness / GA for an operation and as you felt better after eating it might be down to nutrient loss. If you had diarrhoea for a good few weeks you might be low on loads of vitamins. I got some iron tablets from the pharmacy and tried to eat more healthy foods and slowly started to feel better.

Have you had a Covid test? The “brain fog”, diarrhoea and breathlessness/fatigue all sound like Covid symptoms.

@LG101 I'm going to ask for the exact results so I can start taking iron and see if it improves anything. I've improved my diet massively but will keep trying to add new things, I'm glad it helped you :)

@Darkstar4855 I had one a few months ago which was negative and my partner had one a few weeks before I started feeling funny and his was also negative but I haven't had one since. In fact, I was a little upset in the hospital and got a bit funny about something being shoved up my nose so declined and the consultant was awful, even the nurse said she was out of order. At one point I was put on the covid ward and a Dr came in and said I didn't need to be there. I haven't had a cough, temp or loss of taste or smell this year but I guess it's too late and not eligible for an antibody test.