I'm pregnant and I feel like a failure

[babypeach1987]

So I had my implant removed at the end of July this year, my GP advised it can take anything between 3-6 even 12 months for my “system” to go back to normal. I’ve had irregular periods since I had my implant fitted. Sometimes no periods, sometimes every 3/4 weeks it’s been impossible to track.

So, to my complete surprise I have found that I am infact 6/7 weeks pregnant and I only took a test today because I’ve been feeling sick after I eat and to be honest, assumed a stomach bug and didn’t even consider pregnancy.

I’m pregnant and we are THRILLED! BUT I am so so so worried because I’ve been not living the healthiest of lifestyles. Until today I’ve smoked 10 cigs a day, I’ve drank wine every other night (some nights quite a lot). I’ve eaten soft cheese, deli meats and god knows what else.

I have my first appointment next Monday for bloods etc but I’m so worried I’ve ruined everything before it’s even begun.

Has anyone else found themselves in this situation and if so, how was your pregnancy? What can I do? I feel like a failure

Please don't worry! Many people find out much later after drinking and eating things they shouldn't and they usually go on to have a healthy baby

I found out I was pregnant on 24 December last year, having drank, smoked, pate, cheese, the works we’d sort of given up as we’d been trying a year...

Obviously I stopped everything the day I got my BFP and in August I gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter. As far as I understand it, the issues with poor lifestyle in the first trimester are risk of miscarriage, so if baby has stuck you’ve avoided that. If you carry on now though you’ll risk baby’s development. So obviously, stop now, but the major risk before now was MC which clearly hasn’t happened so don’t worry

Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy - you must be so excited!!

Don’t be silly and stop worrying everything will be fine, my sil did exactly the same she didn’t even realise she was pregnant went on a girls holiday for a week and was drinking every night and her son is a healthy 2 n half year old x

I mean, I think this was standard for babies conceived in the 60s and 70s and clearly most of them turned out ok!

Of course you aren’t a failure you didn’t know. Don’t stress. It’s your choices from now on in that matter. Ohhh and take folic acid! Congratulations.

Congratulations @babypeach1987.
Please try not to worry. As pp have said, many people find out very late and all is ok.
My SIL was a case in point. Found out at 8 months (don't know how!) Had drunk a fair bit, was horse riding etc right through and my nephew was fine.
Start your folic acid and vitamin d now (or pregnancy multi vitamin if you prefer) and start watching what you eat, drink etc. now.
Enjoy your journey! x

You shouldn't worry about the soft cheese and deli meats - the reason it's recommended to avoid has nothing to do with the actual cheese or deli meat being bad for the baby. It's just a precaution because there's a higher risk there will be the bacteria listeria on it. Listeria is so rare though so it's unlikely, especially if you're not ill now with food poisoning that there's been any issue with it.

There's no point beating yourself up as we can't change the past. Just go forward following the guidelines. Loads of people don't realise they're pregnant until later.

Hi, your placenta is still developing this early, and so you are not sharing your blood stream yet, so the things in you aren’t shared. Your drinking etc should have no impact. But bin the fags now - your gp / midwife should help you with this.
Look after yourself, including your mental health- it’s a long, hard road,- be kind to yourself.

Have you posted this before?

Either way, don't worry. You don't share a blood supply with baby yet.

When I got pregnant with my first I hosted a Eurovision party during my two week wait. I got sooooo drunk! That baby is now almost 4 and very happy and healthy.

I remember reading that damage due to normal smoking or drinking in the very early days
basically went like this - if it hasn't caused a miscarriage there and then, the baby more than likely hasn't suffered any ill effects. They aren't sharing a blood supply with you yet. Millions of women do the same before they know they are pregnant, try not to worry (any more than you have to).