having children over 40

[Mog]

I'm currently pregnant with my second baby at 39. Probably this will be the last one because of my age but has anyone had a second or third over forty? would love to know how it went.

Thank you all for your positive replies. I suppose I posted because I would like to have a third so this make me feel it's all possible. I've had very easy pregnancies both times and although more tired with the second I think this is common whatever the age when you have a toddler to look after. I can echo the thoughts of having more stamina than younger pregnant mums I know which may be due to being quite fit anyway. Maras - funnily I was talking to my midwife about concerns at scans (completely unrelated to age) and she said the biggest worry group she has found is people going for a third. Something about pushing your luck and probably not related to age of mum at all.

sammac, boy do I know what you mean - my youngest is 9 and I am older (51) than many of his classmates' grandmas - his older brother is 14 and I am older than some of his classmates' grandmas too! - fortunately we only live round the corner from school, literally, and he comes home alone now so I don't have to lurk at the gate with my head in a paper bag!

(This was the biggest problem I found with being an older mum - all the friends I had had with my older children had stopped having babies, and gone on to other things, and with the other mums being 20 years younger it made it very difficult for both of us to have a social life.)

Janh, I agree with your last para, about a social life being a bit more difficult when you're an older mum. It is harder to find a like-minded friend with a baby and all my 'older' friends were back at work with children getting married etc. Still, dd2 was very well-received by all my older friends, so life wasn't all bad!

I was also immensely cheered up re the 'brown paper bag' scenario yesterday. When I collected dd2 from school I passed a younger women whom I had never seen before. She said hello as we scurried passed each other and then yelled back 'Hey, you and your daughter both have such beautiful coloured hair.'

It made my day, indeed my week, to hear that. (For the record, I have brown hair which used to be auburn when I was a lass, and dd2 has chestnut hair. I guess the sun on it must have brought out the highlights!)

I am not an 'older' mum - 32 with one DS and just pg with no2 but since I came to New Zealand I have been meeting lots and lots of mums in their late 30s and early 40s with children the same age as my DS. Out of all the people that I have met on the playgroup circuit only one mum is the same age as me. Everyone else is at least 5 years older. Obviously there must be some younger mums out there but the majority of NZ women like to have their babies later. An interesting observation for me was that they and their partners are all more established - job wise, house wise, money wise than me and my DH. It took me a while to work out why everyone seemed so much better off than us but then it hit me that most of my new friend's partners have at least 10 years on my DH, who is only just 30, and therefore at the bottom end of the career ladder compared to the other DHs. I don't think waiting is a bad idea at all - most of my new friends have had great adventures in their 20s and 30s and now have th opportunity and the funds to be SAHMs.
I thought that having DS at 29 was an average age in the UK but I here am seen as a 'youngster', not that I mind... I like having older friends - they have much more to say!

Good on you you lot!

Talking of having a lot to say - sorry about the long post yet again - just can't keep it short!

Suedonim, what a lovely compliment, I bet you haven't stopped smiling!

Too true, Janh!! I'm a bit like this - .