Any ladies over 40 here?

[ZoeRoma]

I'm 43 and got a BFP this morning. We already have a 2-year-old. I'm really quite worried about various aspects (although the baby is wanted) and I simply can't get my head straight :)

I was wondering if there's anyone else here of a similar age who might share my concerns.

Hi @Zoeroma congrats on your BFP!
I am 42 and yesterday got a BFP after my latest (and last) frozen embryo transfer. I have 17 month old twins from IVF and am desperate for a third. Terrified that this bean isn't going to stick but all we can do is take it one day at a time. I had a couple of issues with my twin pregnancy which weren't age related but I am worried about those issues recurring so I understand what you mean. Here to provide a virtual hand hold if you'd like xxx

Hi @SamoyedFan123 and congratulations on your BFP, too! Sounds like you've been through quite a journey to get this far. Although my first pregnancy was very smooth, I had a horrendous birth with several complications resulting in surgery and a week in hospital. So that's one of my concerns, although my major concern at this stage is that the baby will be healthy considering my age! Fingers crossed for both of us x

Hi,
I'm 41 and 8wks pregnant with my 5th. Baby 4 is just 15m and we tried for a while for him so this is a bit of a shock. My eldest is 20 and my middle 2 are 11 and 9. I was 39 when I got pregnant with DS but psychologically it feels older to be over 40 this time.

I had really low risk results for my NT screening last time (1 in 1607, and 1 in 100000) which compares to the age based was good.

I'm a bit more concerned this time, also because my hospital says it may not be able to do the DS testing at the dating scan due to covid (staffing I guess) and if they can't I can have the quad blood test at 16wks with the MW which just seems so late.

NIPT is about £500 around here so it's a large cost..I guess if I go at 12wks and they can't do the screening I'll have to.

Hi @BurningBenches yes, Covid19 and access to tests at the right time is also a big concern. And giving birth on my own if the crisis is still ongoing by then.

5 sounds like a lot of work. You must be superwoman! Best of luck for your pregnancy.

It's more like 1 +2 +1 at the moment, by June my middle 2 will both be over 10 and my eldest isn't at home. Of course balancing tots and teens has its own challenges but we've been there before.

Yea also nervous about birthing alone.. I was induced at 40wks last time as I was 40 and he was massive. Plus 1 &3 we're also induced at 42wks so the likelihood of induction and therefore doing the early bit alone is almost a given really. I have huge babies who have no intention of coming by themselves. DS was 9lb5at 40wks.

Likewise even before the recent lock down news I was going to my scan alone. DS has never been left with any one and we don't have anyone to have him or be around for the middle ones after school so DH will need to stay home.

Yes, we have no family here, anyway, so childcare for our toddler may have meant going it alone anyway. Tbh I think I'm in such a state about it right now that I need to put something daft on TV and not think about it until tomorrow. I'm cycling from Covid19 to climate change to haemoraging like I did last time, and dying 😢 Clearly having a bit of an anxiety issue due to the shock of the BFP!

Oh I'm really sorry if I've made you feel worse. I'm sure that by next summer the worst of covid will have passed and things will seem better.

Good luck with everything xx

@Zoeroma - I get your anxiety about the birth - i had a similar experience last time with a placental abruption at 33+5 resulting in a crash caesarean under GA, a week in hospital for me and three weeks in SCBU for the twins. The only thing that saved our three lives was the fact that I happened to have been kept in hospital for something else that night. Took me 6 months of PTSD counselling to get over the flashbacks and DH thinks I'm mad for wanting to risk that again. For me the urge for another is stronger than the fear though!

@BurningBenches - please don't worry. You didn't make me feel worse. I'm just not in a great place right now. I'm taking a while to get used to the news :)

@SamoyedFan123 - sorry to hear about your bad experience. I totally understand the PTSD. I remember having a panic attack a few months after the birth because someone on a TV program went into labour! And it was at least a year after the birth before I could see a pregnant woman without thinking "poor sod"

Hi everyone, I'm 40, second pregnancy (after a MC 4 years ago), got the BFP two weeks before my 40th birthday after almost 5 years of TTC. Bit of a shock! I'm 10 weeks and have the scan next week but utterly convinced something is going to be wrong. I think I'm in denial that this is actually happening, we had both pretty much come to terms with not being parents.

@LizzieLouLouBelle Congratulations on your BFP after waiting so long. Best of luck for your scan!