Hi all, I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby and really struggling to cope. I feel really isolated and like I can’t talk to anyone in real life about this, although I may try and contact my midwife mental health team if that’s an option.
I’ve always struggled with mental health in pregnancy - I had two early miscarriages and then when I had my first baby two years ago, was diagnosed in the last few months with growth restriction which resulted in induction at 37 weeks. All turned out fine and I now have a healthy 2 year old but it was very hard at the time - lots of uncertainty from 32 weeks when it was picked up and in hospital almost every day for scans and monitoring. She then lost a lot of weight when she was already tiny, and struggled to regain for the first few months of her life - it was a hard time.
In the early days of this pregnancy I was really anxious about miscarriage but still so happy to be pregnant again and everything seemed to be more straightforward after 12 weeks. I’m having more scans this time which is great and so far things look ok but we won’t really know for sure until 32 weeks when they start growth scans. I also have an anterior placenta so barely feel movement, which I’m really struggling with. I wish I felt more excited but right now I just can’t. The uncertainty around partners not being allowed in hospital isn’t ideal either, I was in for ages last time and keep worrying about what would happen if I ended up in for ages again, but I know I would just deal with it.
I’ve been working from home all year and I’m lucky to have a stable job, but it’s very stressful (a lot of performance issues I’m trying to manage) without much support. I now also have to isolate and I think this weekend’s news has sent me over the edge. I constantly feel tearful and like all I want to do is go to sleep for the next 3 months.
I feel so guilty as I’m hardly doing anything with my toddler, not that we can go out anyway, and I can’t see an end in sight - we’ve had to cancel all the things we had planned for this month which I know isn’t the end of the world but they were things that were keeping me going. The baby is due in February and I really worry I won’t be able to cope with 2, if I’m already struggling this much. I do have a supportive partner so I’m lucky there too but I feel so bad if I leave him to do more of the childcare etc.
Sorry this is so long and grateful for any advice from anyone who has experienced this in the past. I think I’m just completely overwhelmed and feel so alone.