Did anyone else feel like they didn't want their second baby

[KylieKangaroo]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I don't think I can face termination but I feel I don't want another baby. It's such a horrible feeling when I know there are so many people who would kill to be pregnant. I just wish it never happened and feel so depressed.

Yes, we had a planned second (and MMC and multiple miscarriages in between) but once I was pregnant enough to know it would survive I instantly felt horrible for my DD and worried I'd ruin our whole family set up. I was very teary when I had dc2 for a month or so because of this but now 14 months later it's so much better, our family has adapted and my DD loves her sibling so so much, it's lovely to see and it has enriched her life too.

Yes, me. I’m 9 weeks with baby number 2 and although it’s planned I’ve had some horrible moments of what have I don’t. I even called BPAS for counselling once I was so unsure. It’s the feeling that our family unit is nice right now and why would I want to bring another person into the mix and blow that all up. My little boy is nearly 3 and is my whole world, a sibling is a huge change in his life that he hasn’t asked for. Add to that some relationship issues between may partner and I, it’s all led to some very dark thoughts.

But I’ve spoken to BPAS, my midwife and friends, and I feel better about it now. My fears are totally normal and actually I do believe a sibling beneficial for a child in the long term.

You are not alone. I hope it gets better for you soon. X

Sorry for my awful spelling there!

Thanks @floopyandtired it's such a relief when you find out others feel the same. I have booked a few terminations but cancelled each time.

@bellesavage I am so glad things worked out for you in the end 🙏🙏

@KylieKangaroo also for what it’s worth... I’ve had a termination in the past and you can do it. I never thought I could either, but in the end I did what was best for my family and my mental health. If you don’t want to have another child, you have options. Wishing you all the best x

Please don't have a child you don't want, it's so unfair for everyone involved. It is MUCH better to regret a termination than to regret a child.

I've had a termination in the past too. It's not that I don't agree with it of course I am 100 percent pro choice, just worried it would tip me over the edge.

Completely. Was 50/50 on having a second DC anyway. Hated the pregnancy, wasn't remotely excited about having a baby either. Suffered from antenatal depression throughout.

However, despite having PND after the birth it got better, lots better, I feel instantly in love with DC2, 4 years on I wouldn't change it for the world.

I think it's quite normal. Talk to your midwife or GP, be open about how you're feeling, and be kind to yourself x

@thurlow thankyou that's exactly how I feel. I can speak to the midwife hopefully and let them know how I feel.

I also hated my pregnancy with dc2. Wasn't excited, tried to buy a few things to force excitement but it never came. Birth was equally as vile as with dc1. Took a while to bond, so it was a long journey but it has worked out. It's different though, we were happy as 3 and I don't think its better with 4, just different.

I’ve just found out I’m pregnancy with ddc3, not planned at all & with family life already so busy I don’t think I can do it. Other-side of me is saying NO to termination in my mind. I’m calling my Gp tomorrow as I only found out on Friday night. Wish you all the best OP, it’s normal to feel like this I hear but at the same time do what is best for you & your family.

Yes and all the way through the pregnancy I wasnt 100% sure I even wanted the baby. I developed PND after he was born and didnt get better until he was a year old

Hes 4 at the end of the month and it makes me cry thinking that I once didnt want him or love him. Hes one of the funniest people I've ever had the pleasure to meet and I always feel guilty that it took such a long time to love him

@newchapterforus it sounds like you got there in the end which is encouraging 🙏

@mumofoneandanotherontheway good luck, I hope everything works out for you