What are you planning for childcare when in labour?

[Katnissx]

33+5 and I already have a 2yo. Only option I can see is asking my mum to watch DS when I go into labour but she is a 3 hour drive away. Me and DH moved at the start of the year so don't have any close friends or family locally. Think DH would have to stay home and I would have to head into hospital alone until my mum arrives, but I'm worried that I could labour quickly and possibly before she would even get to us (and I don't have a contingency plan for what we would do if I couldn't get hold of her 😬). Would be really upset if DH missed the birth.
Also massively worried about Covid risk, my mum works in a job which puts her at some risk of contact, she also sees her partner who is in a different household and obviously doesn't socially distance with him and also isn't as careful as I would like with some other family members. She can't take much time off work around the time I am due, so she can not isolate. So I'm worried about the risk of her introducing Covid into our home right before we bring a vulnerable newborn home 😖
Also worried about my mum overstaying her welcome with the newborn coming home (even if we have specified boundaries), or not respecting us asking her to give us time alone with our son etc- she is very overbearing. With our son we didn't tell her we were in labour and asked she waited 3 days before visiting so we could have our family time (which she really did not like or understand...)
I am not keen on using a childminder/nanny just because I don't feel I could trust a stranger with my son and also I would have no idea how careful they would be being with Covid (have friends who are nurses and care workers who are behaving irresponsibly so makes you think...).
The hospital doesn't have a crèche.
I sadly wouldn't consider home birth as I had a traumatic birth with my son where the emergency buzzer was pressed and the room filled with people etc, it terrifies me to think what would have happened if we weren't in the hospital (had initially planned to be in a midwife led unit with no drs but then had to be induced).
Has anyone got any ideas I haven't thought of? (Please 😬😬)

P.s. sorry for the super long post 🙈

We have a friend locally that we trust and our son is comfortable with.
Do you have siblings or a close friend that would be able to come to stay? I recognise they may still have to travel but it may avoid some of your other concerns.

@KinderWild thank you for your reply. I don't have any siblings, my DH does but they are too young. There is not anyone on his side of the family we could rely on unfortunately. I don't think we could ask a close friend to stay either, my closest friend has just had a baby herself and another is grieving having lost a family member. Also although I love my friends I don't think I would want someone staying for what could be for several weeks around when I am due 😕 Thank you for the suggestion though x

You have a few weeks to get to know a local nanny/babysitter? And for your child to know them.

Could this be a option as a cover so the to nanny come over when labour starts and cover until your mum arrives?

Not sure what level restrictions you're on but you may be in hospital after the baby and husband can't return until he collects you. Say to mother that the midwife comes to check after baby and as you shouldn't be mixing households unless in childcare circumstances then she wouldn't be able to stay unfortunately. Play the covid card!

I'm in a similar boat. I dont have many family nearby and my Dh family is mainly overseas or far away. I do have one older friend whom I consider more of an aunt considering the 30 year age gap, who has looked after my children every time I have been in hospital. We are due beginning of next year, god willing and luckily shes onlyy10 mins drive and the hospital is about 7 mins drive from her place. I dont know what I would do without her and I wouldn't want my dh to miss out on the birth.

We were in a similar position. We asked our childminder if she would do it and she stayed full time while I was in hospital. We paid her ten pounds an hour as that was her hourly daily rate at the time. We usually paid 100 pounds a day for childcare from 8am to 6pm and when I was in labour paid her for 24 hours and she then reverted back to 8am-6pm while DH worked as she would have been doing anyway so we just ended up paying her an additional twelve hours. We were very grateful for her.

We live abroad. Last time my mother came to stay for a few weeks and baby arrived on his due date. If he had come earlier I would have asked my neighbour to come over (in the middle of the night) and then gotten friends to take the children during the day. This time I'm not sure if she will be able to come because of covid so I'll just ask some friends to help out. I have very fast labours and fingers crossed it will
Go smoothly and I will be home soon after.

If things go faster than expected your dh could drop you off with your child in the car and then come back when your mum arrives.

We had a similar situation and in the end my husband just stayed home with our son to avoid faff.

Thai sounds incredibly stressful but I think you just have to think about the bigger picture and what your absolute priority is. (obviously you and baby and toddler being safe).

Try and break it down into priorities and worse case scenarios. If you definitely don't want your mum there then husband could stay and do childcare. What's the worst, having mum there or dad missing birth? Only you can answer that right now.

*this sounds incredibly stressful

I'm due in February. My parents and family live 40mins drive away in London. I have a close friend from secondary school who lives a few doors away (we both happened to buy houses just outside of London on the same street having moved away from London).

We're also very close with our neighbors so we plan to let either my friend a few doors away or neighbors look after our daughter whenever I go into labour. During which time we'll leave them with a spare key for my parents or brother & his girlfriend to stay with our daughter once their able to come down.

Both friend and neighbors have been working from home since March as have we and for the most part social distancing they also have kids of their own which is better as DD will have someone her age to interact with whilst there.

My partner stays with the children and my mum comes to hospital with me. My children have learning difficulties so my partner is best to look after them.

How stressful for you!

I’m due in 2 days and my parents are self-isolating due to contact with my cousin who has coronavirus. If it happens before they are allowed out (mid next week) MIL will be coming from 2.5 hours away. We have a neighbour on standby to babysit if we have to rush off in the middle of the night. If it all happens quickly in the day I’m not really sure what we’ll do but I’ll expect we’ll find a way.

I’m due in February and my consultant has already agreed in principle for me to have an elective section (had an emergency one with my first).

Hoping that the date of the section falls on one of the 3 days a week that 2 year old DD is in nursery but if not then we will need to ask my mum to watch her or DH to stay at home and I do it myself

In a similar boat, but have a bit more time left to figure it out. We have recently found a babysitter for our toddler and I’m planning to ask her pretty soon if she’d be willing to be to some extent on call during the weeks around my due date. We would pay some sort of compensation for this obviously. By being on call, I mean that she could live her normal life, but she’d be available to come babysit during evenings, nights and weekends when the daycare is closed. She’s a teenager so could be interested in some extra money. Or at least could be possible to find someone who would agree to this kind of deal. I’m also prepared to go to hospital alone in the early stages of labor, which actually isn’t even a big issue for me. It seems to be even more important for DH to be there.

Thank you for all the replies, it's so interesting to hear what others are planning.

@BabyG123 that's a good idea about playing the Covid card, especially with the second lockdown now! I think if we did go with a nanny I would try and find one who could stay overnight (so avoid my mum coming altogether). But I don't feel very keen to use a nanny (as explained above), I guess I feel like the Covid risks are similar to if I just had my mum in the house (which is my main concern) but I would also have to pay a nanny and there's not the same familiarity that my son has with my mum. Although obviously a nanny could come straight away so wouldn't have that worry of DH not being able to come/miss the birth. I guess i need to weigh up the pros and cons 🤔

@footprintsintheslow thank you, I think you're right I need to prioritise. There is no way I want my husband to miss the birth so I suppose that does sum things up a bit. I guess I was just hoping someone might have had an idea that I hadn't thought of so I wouldn't have to compromise so much and have this worry of the Covid risk 🙁
Xx

I am having a c section so a lot easier to plan for assuming baby doesn't arrive early, but the plan is for us to drop our daughter off at my parents 1st thing that day then drive to hospital.
depending on how long I'm in hospital I think dd will stay there until we can all be at home as a family.