Missing the midwives struggling being at home - am I alone in this?

[theresaplaceforus]

While pregnant I received the most amazing care. The midwives in particular looked after me - before during and after the birth - wasn’t home until day 6 - and was admitted before induction, in a way that I haven’t really been looked after before. I felt very much cared for and was given so much support in feeding and taking care of my daughter.
I’m home now and just feel so incredibly lost

@theresaplaceforus aw bless you, have you got a partner at home? Or maybe you could have a family member come and stay with you for a bit?
I cant really offer any advice yet im afraid as I am waiting for my first baby to come, due in 5 days. But I can empathise with you in that im a little worried about that getting home part too.

You're not alone at all. My baby is nearly 6 months old (born in May) and I've felt utterly abandoned.
Are your childrens centres doing any zoom classes at all? Any facebook groups for babies born at the same time?
Luckily this is my second baby, so am fairly confident about most practical things but mentally I'm a mess. It's been so lonely and isolating.
My family have helped a lot and the childrens centres round here (lincolnshire) have been great, putting on lots of zoom classes.
Make sure you ask for help and keep shouting for it if you need it. Health visitor support has been patchy - brilliant if you get a good one.
Congratulations and enjoy your baby. It's strange times, but my baby and I have a wonderful bond through all of this.

How do you get on with your health visitor? Mine have both been great since we were discharged from midwife care.

My baby is only 18 days old so I have only had a phone call from the HV - I think due to Covid I won’t see her face to face for some time, she seems nice enough but it’s hard to judge over the phone. I’m not get discharged from midwife care due to being on a 28 day care plan but I just feel quite lost although I do have support from family and friends, it might sound silly but the way I was cared for - I’ve not experienced that level of kindness before, I feel I give it out but I haven’t received it until the midwives looked after me and now I just feel a little sad.

I only had my little one in August but am fortunate enough that the health visitors are doing home visits. I'm seeing them every few weeks for health reasons. It is ridiculous have varied rules about visits are.

We had the full 28 days too, make sure you use all the days you need. I'm so pleased you have kind midwives but it must be difficult to not have had that level of kindness previously.

I know what you mean and remember feeling like this when I had my daughter 2 years ago. In for 5 days for an induction and in most days for the month before that for monitoring - I felt like I knew all the midwives! Then we stayed in for a few days afterwards both on the post natal and children’s wards. I will always remember the kindness of those midwives and nurses and remember that same feeling of being so lost when I got home and sort of wishing I could be back there for that reassurance. Everyone else talked of not being able to wait to get home but I couldn’t relate to that at all! I promise you the feeling does pass as you get more used to being at home and feeling less overwhelmed.

It’s such a hard time to have a newborn so just try and take it one day at a time and make time for yourself even if it’s to have a bath, listen to a podcast or go for a walk. It will get better!

@Corilee2806 what you’ve described is exactly how I’ve been feeling - I was also a 4 day induction and was in prior to that too, like you’ve said I was also in for the last month at least 3 days a week and was on daily monitoring at some points too, the hospital felt safe and comforting - despite Covid! I knew the midwives and they really looked after me/us after she was born.
I’m gradually starting to feel a bit better but I do wish I could stay in contact with one midwife in particular but I know for them it’s just a job.
I have one more community midwife appointment next week and then we will be discharged and that is pretty scary too. I know there will be the HV but there’s something extra special about midwives I feel - or maybe I’ve just got lucky with the ones I had caring for us .

Oh how interesting, it sounds like we had really similar experiences and there must be something in that - almost a sense of loss you feel and a bit of panic that suddenly it’s all down to you and you’re not getting that same level of care. Overall I wouldn’t say the care I got was fantastic and there were a few problems with the hospital but the many midwives I saw were so lovely and reassuring. It’s sad to think you won’t see them again - I wrote mine a little thank you card at Christmas after my daughter was born so hopefully they knew they were appreciated! HVs definitely aren’t quite the same and can be quite a mixed bag, hopefully you’ll get a good one!