Gender scan anyone’s wrong?

[BuffyFanForever]

Hi all, had my 20 week scan and the sonographer (who was super rude) stated its 2 boys. Was just wondering if anyone’s gender scan wasn’t right? Know I’m probably holding out false hope as I’m desperate for the daughter I’ve longed for through 5 years of infertility treatment but know nothing is 100% so wanted to hear others’ experiences.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP! They do get it wrong occasionally, but I’ve never personally known anyone who was told the wrong sex at 20 weeks (I do know someone who was told wrong at an earlier scan). Your feelings are natural but I hope you can start to enjoy your wonderful boys. Boys are fab! (I have two.)

Thank you for your message. I know I should be happy but I just always dreamed of one girl and I’ve got the exact opposite. Last embryos and no eggs left so this is my only chance. Have no idea what to even do with boys as we will be a 2 Mum family...

OP I know a two mum family with two boys. They've actually found it the perfect balanced household - and they've raised kind and considerate boys of the sort we all benefit from having in the world. You can't help your feelings - especially after years of wishing and imaginings - but I bet you find it matters little once your little chaps are here x

Thank you for your kind words. I really hope so as I’m really struggling with being just so upset at the moment which I know is terrible...

My friend was told girl and had a boy, she had bought absolutely everything pink! I do think its a rarity though. Are your twins identical? If they are, if one is a boy the other definitely will be too

Ah that must have been a shock for her! No they aren’t identical, completely separate sacks etc

Three boys here. Was really upset second child was a boy. But soon got over it as was adorable. Third child ( had to try again) was a boy and I had no problem. You don’t look at your children and see boys you see children. You see Personalities. I adore my three boys and not at all bothered no girls.

I think it’s pretty rare to be mistakenly told boy - the ‘boy’ indicator is pretty obvious!

I would try really hard to both accept and embrace it - your children’s sex doesn’t determine who they are or what they will be like, and they deserve to be just as joyfully anticipated as if they were girls. And don’t worry about your parenting - you don’t need to be a man to raise good men (if it were that easy, there would be far more decent men in the world...)

It's very rare to be confidently told "boy" and have a girl. The other way around is somewhat more common as it's possible for the testes/penis to be missed, but if the bits have been seen, well, they're probably there. Not impossible for a bit of umbilicus or something to be in the way and look like male bits, but extremely rare.

Of course if the babies are in the wrong position for things to be visible then the sonographer can be less certain - that's what happened to me - but if the sonographer sounds sure then they're probably right.

I've never understood the phrase "I don't know what to do with boys". The care for newborn babies is virtually the same regardless of sex, and by the time they're old enough for their sex to matter at all, you'll know them and be raising them in a way specific to that child, not just "raising a boy".

You can't help how you feel and I'm not having a go at you particularly, op, but I'm getting increasingly sad about how undervalued baby boys are on here :(

Nope. Girls identified as girls, boys identified as boys. I love them all regardless of being a boy or a girl. Please -after 5 years of infetility you are pregnant. With 2. Enjoy.

I know someone who was told girl/boy for twins but had 2 girls, not sure whether it’s more common with twins as there’s less space to see?

You will love your boys regardless 💓

I think it’s more likely for a boy to be mistaken as a girl, if they’re hiding their bits.
The sonographer must have seen two sets of boy bits to tell you it was two boys.

You do the same with boys as you do with girls. Feed one end and clean up the other. Everything else is personality.

Step back and think about how you feel when people make assumptions because you're female. What does it really mean to be female? What would having a girl mean to you? Why is it different to having a boy?

I do think it's okay to have a preference actually and more common after fertility treatment interestingly, but it's important to think about why you feel this way. Usually it transpires that you have deep seated reasons for the preference and when it comes to it, it doesn't matter.

You will love your two boys for who they are and not the facts of their biology. It's hard to imagine it when pregnant but the presence of those babies will transcend your preconceptions.

I think it’s quite unusual for them to get it wrong if they see boy bits. I think you need to get your head around the fact it is 2 boys.

Congratulations to you and your partner on your lovely baby boys. I had never had boys in my life really til I had mine (except my dad and husband!) but you work it out and as babies they all need the same anyway irrespective of sex. They will be best pals I am sure and it will be lovely to see. My boys are my world and I am sure yours will be too.