Late pregnancy and getting anxious about everything

[Pregnantandanxious]

NC for this as feel slightly embarrassed.

I'm approaching 37 weeks and while I've remained calm throughout the majority of the pregnancy, over the last few days any excitement I had has been replaced with anxiety.

I think the reality of the situation is hitting me about what labour could be like without my partner there for the majority (I've been told I need to be induced at 40 weeks if I've not given birth by then) and then what maternity leave will be like as I think we will be really isolated without much in the way of support as my family are all vulnerable so they won't be able to pop in and out and my partner's family are the opposite and all work in roles like teaching etc so we will probably want to be careful around them with a newborn.

We have a toddler too and I'm finding myself getting really scared and anxious about any of us getting covid either before the birth (because of the implications of any of us being ill during labour and what that would mean) and of course once we are back, because I don't know how we would cope with a newborn and toddler if we had it.

I know this is the same reality for everyone who's pregnant at the moment but how is everyone else dealing with it?

I think my technique up to this point has been to be as careful as possible but equally stick my head in the sand a bit about 'what ifs' so I remain as stress-free as possible but that isn't working any more (probably in part due to pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep which is making it harder to be rational).

Anyone got any tips and advice?

I'm almost the same number of weeks as you and could've written most of that. I could really let myself get wound up and anxious about the whole situation and implications with Covid, hospital restrictions etc. The attitude I'm trying to maintain is that it's not something that I can influence and no amount of worry or stress on myself will change that. It's a really lonely time for pregnant women just now but if it's really dragging you down, speak to your MW

Thanks so much for replying, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this - though of course I don't wish anxiety on anyone!

I think I will mention it at my next midwife appointment and maybe run through those 'what would happen if... ' scenarios as I think that's probably contributing to the problem as there are so many unknowns and I'm presuming the worst.

I'm 36 weeks and in a similar position. We follow all the guidelines but I do take toddler DD out to whatever is available for her. When I get to 38 I'll probably stick to outdoor playgrounds etc for a couple of weeks to reduce risk further, thinking mostly of the others in the maternity ward and midwives etc but also because I don't want to test positive and need to isolate there and also like you don't want to be really ill with a newborn!

Also won't have any support really as family in tier 2. Mostly feel ok about it, and luckily feel fine about labour alone which is a likely scenario as family may not be able to look after DD while I'm in labour! DH would like to be there ideally but isn't too upset about maybe not being able to

Sorry, I didn't really reply with any constructive advice! I'm not sure I'm best placed to as often worry about this and that but I'm just focusing on things coming up like a nice Halloween for DD

I’ll be 38 weeks on Friday and also struggling with anxiety. It’s my first baby so obviously nervous about the birth but the virus situation is making it so much worse. We are in tier 2 so will just be and my dh after she’s born with little support :( it’s a very lonely time at the moment. Sorry don’t have much advice apart from focussing on nice things to do but just wanted to say you’re not alone in feeling like this xx

@Pregnantandanxious

Thanks so much for replying, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this - though of course I don't wish anxiety on anyone!

I think I will mention it at my next midwife appointment and maybe run through those 'what would happen if... ' scenarios as I think that's probably contributing to the problem as there are so many unknowns and I'm presuming the worst.

You're defo not alone, but the worry won't be good for you or the baby. I have avoided the scenarios with my MW, deliberately! I actually don't want to know about hospital restrictions or if I end up with a positive test etc because the situation will play on my mind... so for once in my "I need to be organised" life, I'm going for the "see how it goes" approach"... so far so good!x

@Pregnantandanxious I'm 40 weeks and just want to say you're not alone. we're in a tier 3 area but as our families and friends aren't local we've had time to prepare for the lack of help with baby or them meeting him, just seems now it'll be much later than we thought.

My hospital is in a tier 3 area and changed their induction rules on friday so whereas before I was happy to accept one if I get past 41 weeks, as my DH isn't going to be allowed to stay with me overnight, i m really unsure as to whether i want to take that risk of expectant management instead as I know i m going to get quite distressed alone on a hospital ward overnight so i m not excited at all anymore, i've cried a few times the past couple of days when it's gotten to me.

We're lucky in that barely leaving the house is an option for us so i know the chances of either of us getting covid is tiny, it's the not getting the labour i wanted to have and being alone with my first baby if i end up on a postnatal ward afterwards that's terrifying me.

Talking over all the what if's with my dh has helped a little, as is him being on my side that is the postnatal ward is as bad as i think, then he fully supports me self discharging us otherwise i m watching a lot of bad tv and comfort eating really.

Thank you so much for all the advice and sympathy. I'm really sorry though that you are all in the same position. It's not easy is it?!

I go from telling myself 'there's no point focusing on it' to waking up in the middle of the night and then panicking but I do get that middle of the night anxieties always exacerbate 'normal' worries!