Newborn and Covid - what did you do/are you planning?

[Carabu1]

Hello ladies. So after seeing my parents at the weekend conversation has finally turned to whether they will be able to hold baby/visit us at home etc when it arrives. I’m due quite soon - so though regs may still change/we might move tiers/whatever its time for me to decide what I’m happy with I think. I’ve been super careful and rule abiding thus far. my parents and in-laws are in 60s, some still work, no health conditions. What has everyone been doing re: letting grand parents hold baby, visit you etc? If you’re saying no - do you have a sense of when that may change? I’m just feeling so conflicted about what the right thing to do is - I want them to have that experience but I also want baby to be safe. What did you do/are you doing?!

Unfortunately all my family is in a different country and the in laws on the other side of this one, so we won't be having any visitors at all :(
I think hand washing before holding the baby and no kissing should be enough to keep them safe. You could ask them to wear masks when handling the baby too?

We don't have family about but mum is coming up to look after the dogs and a day or two to help, then if we are allowed our parents will come for few days over Christmas. I plan to let them have a cuddle (hopefully change a few nappies).

We've let people see our DS but not hold him, so following the social distancing advice. Most people have been okay with it, the majority of our family are in either tier two or three when we are in one.

My DS is 9 months old and we've only just allowed our parents to hold him this last month. Most of our NCT friends did so much sooner, but one of the tiny babies who died at the very beginning was connected to us via a friend of a friend.

We were the cohort who had all of the newborn/early checks cancelled and so I wasn't confident enough to say he definitely didn't have any of the conditions that made covid more likely to be fatal. As they've reinstated these hopefully you'll feel more confident making that call.

I m due any time now. We re in a tier 3 area so no one will be meeting them for a while, we wouldnt want to risk us getting anything or us bringing something back from the hospital and giving it to our families especially as my grandma is 81 and the only grandparent I have left I d never forgive myself if we made her unwell.

We have an older DD and my parents help with childcare, and will have her during the birth, so seems ridiculous to not allow them to hold new baby/wear masks or anything like that since we’ll all be mixing so closely anyway. ILs are abroad and are unlikely to visit due to quarantines anyway.

Honestly, parents and siblings of ours all held dd when she was born in June. And many times since! They're all cautious and sensiblt

I'm due in a month or so and I'm planning to start isolating soon, I work from home anyway. My mum is in her 80s with Alzheimer's and it will be rough for her as I've been looking after her every day for years. I have put in place some great carers for her but of course it increases risks as she's now in contact with more people. Its time to put me and my baby first, so I plan not to visit her for at least a month once the baby is born, even though she only lives a few doors away. Thats to protect the baby and to protect her as we'll be seeing midwives and having check ups etc. Also because she's quite far gone with her Alzheimers and doesnt always behave logically so I would rather her not have contact with a newborn. Also she wont wear a mask or do social distancing as she cant comprehend covid. These situations are always complex but the law in most parts of the country is that household mixing us forbidden, so I think it's better to be cautious.

I gave birth in the middle of lockdown. Lasted around 2 weeks then decided to let people hold baby. DP was back at work, I was back doing food shopping etc so decided to not be overly strict. Still only close friends and family and hand washing, which is the norm anyway.

Most people will respect your decision anyway, close friend of the family is waiting until after the first round of vaccinations. Not sure why but we respect it, worrying times for new parents and tiny babies.

And of course no kissing babies which people rarely do anyway.

I am due in April and agonising over this. My parents are in their 70s and I have been super careful with them so far, although they are much less careful themselves. My dad is in denial completely, aged 76 he's one of those 'it's no worse than the flu, I'm healthy so I'm fine' types.

But having a baby will change everything. It's really important to me that they start their relationship from the very start of her or his life. Watching my dad carry my newborn niece around was a really amazing experience, and knowing how that he has known her closely since she was a tiny baby is part of why they are now so close. And I know people are saying the babies won't remember but I believe on some level they will.

Anyway it's an impossible situation. My partner is a tradesman in and out of people's houses. My dad is elderly despite his denial. I would never endanger my parents' health, or my child's. I don't know what I'll do.

My daughter was born in June. We started with doorstep visits, moved to sitting in the garden, moved to sitting in the living room but distanced. Grandparents first held her at 3 months.

Thank you so much for all your perspectives - just shows I guess that sadly there is no ‘right’ answer!! It doesn’t help that they live a decent drive away, so feels a bit mean to make them drive all that way to wave from the doorstep...! I’m tempted them to do ‘distanced visits’ (in park, garden) and see how it goes? What do people think about isolating - my in laws have offered to isolate for 2 weeks first, but tbh not sure their idea of isolating and mine are the same...

@Doughnut100 it’s awful isn’t it? I kept putting off thinking about it hoping situation would improve, but it just isn’t/hasn’t. I’m mainly worried about the baby - I don’t want them to get ill, obviously, but they’re adults and can make a decision about risks for themselves whereas my baby can’t :(

@Carabu1 yes it's awful and there's no right answer. Isolating is fine but it's a short term solution for one visit at a time, impossible for some because of work, and as you say people have different interpretations of it... and distanced visits have to be the answer really but obviously they are really tough in winter and if relatives live far away.

@Carabu1 I’m due any day now and completely stuck on what to do. I think we’ll just do contact with close family (but we both have large immediate families!). As @Doughnut100 says I really do think it will have an effect on all these babies that have never seen or been held by close family members.
With regards to isolating, we found it just wasn’t doable. In theory, your baby could be born anywhere from 37-42 weeks (well longer really) so you could be asking people to isolate from 35 weeks. Even if my partner took week 38-40 off with his holidays, I’d baby comes later, which she probably will, he’d be going back to work again!

I will be allowing my parents to meet and hold my baby. No amount of rules would stop me to be honest. They are sensible people following the rules. My mum works in a hospital and is tested weekly and had it during the beginning of lock down. I will probably allow our siblings too. We all live in tier 1 currently.

Wider family not sure. No to my grandparents, as I feel we are more of a risk to them, though one grandmother is not happy about this.

My friends are all pretty cautious and dont live particularly close. Having my baby in 3 weeks and I honestly think they wont all meet him until next year.

I will ask those that hold him to wash hands but I wont ask for masks.

I am due 1st week of jan so still have a good few weeks for things to change again however as it stands as long as the baby arrives safe & well, I will let grandparents & our siblings hold baby. My husband works with lots of unhygienic tradesmen 😖 & my daughter is in nursery (already had 5 cases in last 5 weeks) so I can't see any added risk to be honest as long as everyone is sensible & was hands etc

My baby was born in late June (our first, and we’d been trying for 4 years). Nobody except us held him until after his first lot of jabs, and then it was only our parents and siblings (wider family live a couple of hours away so haven’t met in person anyway). We ask people to wash hands and wear a mask when they hold DS and keep distance ourselves especially when indoors.
It’s so difficult isn’t it, and luckily our parents have been so understanding and lovely about it. It’s caused a lot of issues with my older sister though, who regularly gets upset about the fact we have to be cautious. She works in a school though and has 2 kids who are in school/nursery, one of whom had to have a test recently after contact with a positive case. Yet she still insists that we are being over cautious
Good luck, just decide what you’re happy with and stick to it. And congratulations of course!