Home birth?help!!

[Catsandkittens638297]

I still have quite awhile till I'm due but it's stressing me out quite abit I'm just needing some advice.

I have two children who will be 4 & 2 when our third is due. Both quick labours, with my youngest I was only in hospital 20 minutes before she arrived and we left hospital 3 hours later.

We don't know anyone at all or have family that live nearby that could watch them when I go into labour.So iv been really thinking about having a home birth and DH distracting them till the last minute (if its when they're awake), or get my younger sister to come over if she's not in college (too young and irresponsible to look after them alone).

DH says it would be selfish of me to have a home birth if anything goes wrong. At this point I feel it's home birth, we hire a baby sitter or he misses it.

Can anyone share their experiences?

I had planned a home birth for my last because of a lack of childcare like yourself. If you look into the risks etc for a person that's had children previously you are in a good position especially if they are quick births.
Unfortunately due to complications on the day I wasn't allowed a home birth so had to give birth alone, so my husband could look after our other child.
Good luck whatever you choose

This is totally personal (I have a 3 year old and am due number 2 in a month) but I don't think I could 'relax' enough with my little girl around. I'd do whatever you can to find anyone, do either of yours go to nursery? I know some nursery staff sometimes do paid babysitting.

In your situation, if you really can't get anyone, I'd rather go to hospital alone - you'd have a midwife with you the whole time to help you

Well your DH is super supportive 🙄
If I were you I'd hire a doula and go to a birth centre with her - leave him at home with the kids!
But if you've had quick births before it would make sense to plan a home birth just in case you don't make it to hospital in time. Much less stressful to stay at home than race to the hospital when you're in full blown labour.
I should mention that I'm biased because I had a home birth 7 weeks ago (DC2) and it was a great experience, much better than going into hospital and dealing with all the Covid restrictions as well.
I found this website helpful when deciding whether to plan a home birth:
www.homebirth.org.uk/
You could always plan a home birth but decide to go into hospital at the last minute (and you might need to transfer in anyway).

PS When I went into labour, DH took DC1 to our friends' house (luckily they live very close to us) so he wasn't in the house, I wouldn't have wanted to give birth with him around mainly because I was LOUD

There are lots of really good reasons to have a home birth but I think on a fairly deep level you have to be committed to the idea and you don’t sound like you are. In your position I would look seriously into a proper nanny or babysitter. Does your 2yo go to a nursery? Often staff also do babysitting and there would be a further advantage that they would be known to your DC.

I had a home birth and it was a really positive experience. If this is your third, you already have your first two births to go off and if they were straightforward, albeit quick, it’s unlikely you’ll have to go into hospital.
How far away is the hospital if you do need a rapid transfer? Discuss it with your midwife, ideally with your DH there too, but I’m sure they would support a home birth, especially in the current circumstances.

I’d have your younger sister on standby, then if you have any kind of emergency (unlikely) your DH can travel to hospital with you.

I'm due my 4th and I'm vaguely anxious about going very quickly. My labours have gotten faster each time, 6, 4 & 2 hrs and while I don't expect baby to spontaneously fall out this time I also have a little fantasy that it will happen quickly while I'm somewhere easy to clean, like the shower 😂😂😂 This fantasy mostly revolves around the "fast & easy" aspect....😬🤞
I don't want a home birth but I guess I'm also not afraid of it should it happen. I'm more afraid of being out and about somewhere on my own with the children and things kicking off. Even at home I don't want the children around for a delivery, I need to be able to focus on myself. Last time I woke up contracting at 0330 and he was on my chest by 0530.
As others have suggested, contact a doula or investigate home birth options. You may make it to a hospital or you may not, but knowing some basic labour first aid will give you confidence and safeguard to a certain degree.

We also live abroad, 11hr flight away, so will have to rely on the corona fucking off so someone can come visit or ask a friend to mind the children.

I've had two planned homebirths. The first was textbook and wonderful. The second was increadibly fast and scary. I wouldn't have wanted older DC anywhere near the house when in labour with the youngest. It would have traumatized them (it did us). Lack of childcare options is not a good reason to have a home birth. I would rather go to a hospital alone.

@NationalShiteYear it's interesting you say that about your second experience because my very fast third labour was very unpleasant and, as you say, if my children has seen that I feel it would have been terrible for them. When people say they want older siblings involved it seems totally alien to me, I barely wanted my husband and midwives around me. I always hope to try and be 'zen' but there is no zen 🙈

@calimommy totally agree. My eldest had only just left to stay with my mum overnight, waved off by me saying that it might be another day or two yet.

40 minutes later the baby was in my arms. Midwives made it with 7 minutes to spare, arriving at the same time as the paramedics.

I'm a huge fan and advocate of homebirths BUT only where any other children can be safely accommodated with an adult who can give them 100% of their attention, which the other parent can't do in that situation.

I’m a big fan of home births. I planned one for baby 3 and did enough research to feel that it was a sensible and safe choice for me. My older kids were 6 and 8 and I had arranged for my mum to be with us to look after them.

However I’m now pregnant again and wouldn’t consider a home birth with my 2 yr old in the house even if my mum is there to look after her. I don’t think I’ll be able to relax and I would be worried about her hearing me and not knowing what was going on. I think during labour you need the focus to be 100% on you and that’s hard to achieve with a toddler around.

I'm due in January with baby number 5. I always worry with a home birth, things could go wrong. I have no idea what I would do. Also my 4 children would be around and my 2 year old girl , I know for a fact would want me . I've arranged an aunt to have them at her house. She has a big place and will even do the school runs for us while we go.