AIBU - Baby sweepstake

[Yorkshirelass251]

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if pregnancy hormones are just getting the better of me!

My brother in law (husband's brother) sent a message yesterday saying he's organised a baby sweepstake for people to guess gender, name, weight and date the baby is born. He put his bank details and said its £5 per person to be involved so the person who wins would win quite a reasonable amount.

I know this is a really normal thing to do but it just doesn't sit right with me. All I want is a healthy baby who is a good weight and who I carry to full term (currently 32 weeks). I feel like if people guess a low weight or early date then they'd be profiting out of something that would be a very negative thing for me. I haven't responded to my brother in law yet but I've told my husband I feel uncomfortable and I don't want him to be stuck in the middle of it.

Am I just overreacting?! I have done similar things in the past but I feel differently about it when it's my baby. It's not helped by the fact that the baby is due 16th December and I would really prefer (just for him/her) that it isn't born on Christmas day!

Thank you.

The dates are probably all post a 37 weeks and people only guess healthy weights. Whenever I've organised one at work you can guess from 37-42 weeks and people have never put less than 7lbs.

I get where you're coming from with the "it's different because it's mine" but I think you need to remember you've taken part in the past.
I think it's a bit of a hormonal thing here, because it is at the end of the day just a bit of fun for the family to get involved it. And I seriously doubt they would take enjoyment if heaven forbid something goes wrong.

I would send him a message saying that if the winner is getting a "reasonable" amount. Its only fair that his new nephew or niece gets the rest of it.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone doing this for my baby without checking with me first.

Might be different if the winner got a small prize and they were planning on using the rest of the money to get you a nice present.

I’ve only ever known this as a work colleague thing as a baby shower type game.

But yes, I would feel odd about people betting on my baby personally.

i have done similar things in the past

You're overreacting.

Thank you all. I probably am overreacting. By doing similar things in the past, I mean that I have only ever done this at work and I think it's either been £1 entry (so a really nominal amount) or the winner just wins a bottle of wine or something like that. I think it's the fact that it is a much bigger prize pot which feels a bit different

I love a baby sweepstake! Was a bit annoyed with my first that I didn't guess the weight correctly - that £30 would have come in handy!

It is a bit of fun. People tend to guess around the due date and a regular baby weight. You are overreacting.

It's fun and nobody in their right
Mind would put '33 weeks 2lb'

I’d be a bit annoyed that it wasn’t checked with me first, but that’s the only thing that would bother me

I've not heard of names being included but a sweepstake for date, sex and weight is very normal. People will naturally only pick healthy dates and weights - would be very weird to do otherwise!

Of course not everyone had to like the tradition but since you've been involved in the same sort of thing in the past (it's conceptually the same even with a smaller prize) I think you're being a bit unreasonable to not like it when it's yours.

Provide him with the range of dates and weights for people to choose from. If you’re uncomfortable with the size of the prize pot then perhaps request that a proportion of it is donated to a charity of your choosing, and the remainder to the winner.

Definitely a bit of Precious First Born syndrome going on there OP. You are hugely over reacting and also being unreasonable since you've taken part in sweepstakes before for other people's babies!

My work have done one for me and I even got in on it myself (£20 would buy a few nappies if I won I guess!), it’s just a bit of fun so try to relax 🙂 ...even if my boss did guess baby would be nearly 11lbs AND 2 weeks early 🥴😂

If you hadn’t taken part in something like this before I’d say you were not being unreasonable. But you can do you can’t complain about someone doing it for you.
Personally I hate them and would never participate. If someone tried to this with my baby they’d be told to fuck off

People will naturally only pick healthy dates and weights

I didn’t have a clue about the healthy weight range for a baby when I was in my early twenties and I don’t think I was that unusual. Much safer to provide a range if some of the players are in the same position.

I agree with @ThanksItHasPockets - I know some of the people participating won't have a clue around healthy weights or dates! When I've done them before at work the person involved has given their permission for it to go ahead, I have never really thought about it but just feel a bit differently now 🙁 to try and keep everyone happy, I've said fine if he wants to do it but I'd prefer to just do it for fun and I'll buy a bottle of wine for the 'winner'. I'm still not completely comfortable but hope that's a happy compromise.