Baby shower blues

[Stargazer87]

I don't know if I'm just being silly but it's really upsetting me that I'm not having a baby shower due to covid...I feel that I've been robbed of every nicety that comes with pregnancy and have felt so lonely and isolated the whole time. I live in a tier 1 area so in theory I feel I could still have one with 6 people however I just feel that my friends have made zero effort. I have a couple of friends with fertility issues and therefore I feel that I've almost been made to feel guilty for being pregnant and haven't been able to talk about it in our group at all. I feel so sad about the whole thing, I just want to celebrate it! Am I being silly? Do others feel the same? Before anyone says it it's nothing about the presents, I have everything I need for baby, I just want to celebrate and feel a sense of occasion rather than it feel like my pregnancy is a big secret that's not allowed to be talked about or acknowledged...

I have tried to be nice with my previous suggestions as I know we can all be a bit irrational (especially when pregnant and hormonal) but honestly I think you need to get a grip and count your blessings.

Maybe it's not about the baby shower at all, like I said I don't care about presents etc, I have everything I need. I've just felt very isolated and lonely throughout this whole pregnancy. I just want a bit of support from my friends, I don't feel like that's too much to ask for. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And honestly, once you have kids, its never 'all about you' ever again, so you might as well get used to it. Make the most of being able to do whatever you want, it will be a while before you have freedom like that again.

There's also no need for the harshness, being pregnant for the first time during a pandemic has been bloody hard! It's robbed so many women of the pregnancies they've imagined. It's amazing how upsetting not even having a single hug from a friend or family member has been...

No its not too much to ask for at all. So make a date with a mate/some mates to have a coffee/a walk/a meal or whatever floats your boat

It's quite possible that your friends realise that your pregnancy puts you in a higher risk category and that they don't want to expose you to further risk. I hope that you will feel able to confide how you are feeling to a few trusted friends and I am sure that they will step up once they realise how down it is making you.

Gosh everyone is being so horrible to you OP. I'm so sorry and I totally understand where you're coming from. It is hurtful! Are you closer to any of the friends in the group who you could ask if they fancy an afternoon tea or something before you have the baby?? I wonder if they've just thought that you wouldn't want a baby shower with Corona rather than being deliberately thoughtless? It's such a strange world at the moment. Sorry that your long awaited pregnancy came at such a rubbish time

Will be worth it though when you have baby in your arms

I know, I think this forum can be such a vicious place at times, so much for women supporting other women!

Literally noone has been horrible or vicious or anything remotely like it. Honestly

You’ve had a lot of kind and supportive messages OP, but you haven’t acknowledged them at all and instead you are focusing on the negatives.

I gently suggest that I wonder if you are doing something similar in real life, too.

I’m 31 weeks, also struggled to get here. Baby showers aren’t my thing, but I do sympathise - being pregnant during all this has been bloody hard, and I don’t think people who haven’t experienced it will appreciate all the things both big and small that have been more difficult than they might usually be. But...I am just so grateful to (hopefully!) be having a healthy baby that I really don’t care about anything else - yes it’s not what I had maybe envisioned, but no ones life this year really is...! You have a right to feel a bit sad sometimes, but focus on the positives: youre nearly there and that’s what matters.

I have hard pregnancies and I’ve had far less people checking in on me this time around compared to last time. I think people are just tired and distracted by coronovirus and haven’t got quite so much head space to think about other people on top of it all. I know I certainly feel like I’ve run out of resources. We’re not living in the norm and unfortunately it means that a lot of the normal social stuff has fallen by the wayside.