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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Horrible booking appointment experience anyone?

30 replies

nathaliespace · 21/10/2020 15:22

Has anyone else had a terrible time with their booking appointment? I had mine on Monday (over the phone). She went through the questionnaire and I answered it all truthfully, including when she asked if I'd ever taken drugs, I said on occasion in the past for recreation; and that I had mild anxiety in terms of mental health. The call ended then she called me back saying she had to refer me to social services and a special midwife team because of the drug stuff. She promised me this was routine and that this happened to anyone who answered yes to that question. I got off the phone and googled the midwifery team (Acorn team in Newham) and it's for vulnerable women like ex-addicts, asylum seekers, domestic abuse victims. I called her back and said I think she's got the wrong end of the stick and she told me that the Acorn team was more because of my anxiety and was no biggie.

So I went in later to get my bloods done and picked up my pregnancy book thing and read through it when I got home. It turns out that she'd written all over my file that there were risks to my pregnancy because I have 'a history of substance misuse' and also the anxiety. The anxiety is one thing although I'd have liked the chance to qualify how I felt about it. But the drugs! I was furious and upset and stressed and so called the centre and spoke to the manager who agreed to change my notes as it wasn't routine at all - I had been flagged as a risk against my knowledge. Then I had to still deal with social services and assure them I didn't have a history of substance misuse. The social services person revealed to me that the Acorn team referral is in fact because of the substance misuse, not the anxiety... so the midwife totally lied to me!

Then further to that, the third risk factor she flagged was gestational diabetes based on my maternal grandfather having had late-onset diabetes. But when I researched that further, it turns out that on the NHS website you're only at risk if a parent or sibling has/had diabetes, not a grandparent. I don't tick any of the other risk categories and have low BMI. I've been booked in for 2 glucose tolerance tests for gestational diabetes which she didn't explain to me either and I'm unsure about having as I don't eat sugar as it gives me an immediate UTI.

So now I'm worried that with gestational diabetes written as a risk on my file, it will jeopardise my chances of having the birth I want (free-standing birth centre). Or I'm going to have to fight again to have that changed on my file too and be known as 'that woman'.

More than anything, I'm absolutely shocked and affronted at the interpretation of risk in my context. There wasn't a follow up conversation with me to clarify the past drug use thing if it was concerning here - just a straight referral to social services based on my very vague answer. And then she also inflated the diabetes risk which may now well dog me for me entire pregnancy. It was like a sudden cold shower over my previous pregnancy excitement in terms of feeling that I'm going to have to arm myself to fight ignorance and blind rule adherence at every step of the way. Not to mention, the amount of stress this has caused me.

Im really curious as to whether this is just standard and most people are more accepting of this side of things with midwives or if I've truly had a really bad experience!

OP posts:
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ImaSababa · 21/10/2020 15:27

Sounds stressful, OP! I think the mistake you made was mentioning the drug thing. I also used to take drugs on a recreational basis, but kept quiet about it at my booking appointment. I couldn't see any advantage in admitting it.

FelicityPike · 21/10/2020 15:28

The drugs use thing she’s absolutely right about...in my opinion anyway.
The GD, I think she’s definitely jumped the gun and you’ll just have to wait and see if that develops later (hopefully not).

ellenpartridge · 21/10/2020 15:30

I wouldn't have mentioned the drugs at all in your position as it isn't relevant. Don't worry about the GD. They will test you (as they test many women for various reasons) but if it comes back negative it won't affect anything.

LavaCake · 21/10/2020 15:34

It does sound like you have been messed about a bit - she should have been upfront about the reasons why she was referring you instead of lying to spare your feelings.

Re the GD, I wouldn’t be too blase about that one. I’ve been diagnosed with GD and I was devastated when I found out, but it’s actually one of those things which is low-risk if controlled. You are SO much better knowing than not knowing. If you don’t have it your test will be clear and that will be the end of it, but if you do have it it means you can take the necessary steps to protect yourself and your baby. Bear in mind that most women with controlled GD can still give birth in a birth centre etc.

I do understand why you’re upset though because it sounds like the concerns about drugs have been overstated and that you have been lied to, and neither of those are examples of good care.

TweeterandtheMonkeyman · 21/10/2020 15:36

Gosh I don’t remember being asked about past drug use at either of my booking in appointments - if asked though I would have automatically said no - and that would have been a big fat lie Blush .
I think you’ve had a really hard time OP , sympathies —but you should have lied—

MyOwnSummer · 21/10/2020 15:54

I had similar on my first pregnancy, I answered honestly and was shocked that stuff I did occasionally when I was 18 or so was somehow relevant 15 years later when I'd clearly grown up and got on with my life. Something like 80 to 90% of teenagers try weed at least, and the question is "have you ever..." to which the vast majority of the population would, if honest, answer yes.

In my case they tried to sneak a drugs test on me without telling me what the extra blood test was for - I demanded to know why the extra blood test and was told it was a drugs screen. I was told that if I refused the test, it would be a mandatory referral to social services.

I did the test which was obviously clear, and never got an apology either. Common sense goes out of the window, it seems.

Didlum · 21/10/2020 15:58

I've seen this mentioned by another poster recently. I'm sure they didn't used to ask this. I had mine 13 and 16 years ago and probably would have admitted to the occasional joint when i was a student 13 years before but they never asked luckily. I hadn't even touched a cigarette for 8 years by then and never did again

SleepySheepy · 21/10/2020 16:00

Personally I would decline the GD tests if they are likely to make you unwell when you don't have a diabetes risk.
Do fight to make sure your records are accurate, and don't agree to anything that you don't actually agree with as you'll end up feeling very 'done to' and out of control which will do nothing for your anxiety.
Thinking back I've never said that I've done drugs in the past, but I suppose I did smoke a bit of weed as a teenager. I wouldn't have even thought to mention it but I suppose any drug use unless prescribed is 'substance misuse/abuse' so I think she was being a bit of a jobsworth.
Sadly nothing surprises me when it comes to maternal care, I had a pediatrician give me real abuse and threaten to report me to social services for having a home birth with my 2nd. It was agreed by just about everyone including a consultant but apparently I'm a bad mother for giving birth at home...
Sending hugs

Catladyy · 21/10/2020 16:02

You poor thing, this sounds absolutely awful. Especially when pregnancy (and getting NHS appointments) is no picnic anyway. Well done for actually getting things sorted though.

Didlum · 21/10/2020 16:09

I had a glucose test and have no family history. I think it was because i tend to put on a lot of weight in pregnancy even though i started both in the healthy weight range. They are just checking there isn't a problem. There wasn't with me. Once the test has come back clear you should be ok

nathaliespace · 21/10/2020 16:16

I realise now it was a mistake in admitting historic recreational drugs use but I'm ADHD and ASD and I'm not able to lie without preparation! The question was phrased so causally along with other check boxes that it didn't occur to me it would be an issue!

@MyOwnSummer I agreed to a drugs test and they still reported me to social services - before I'd even taken the test!

I'll investigate why they think I need 2 GTT tests - one's only at 16 weeks - as that seems excessive to me and contrary to others' experiences.

Thanks for the sympathies. I feel a bit traumatised and my previous levels of happy trust have definitely been eroded!

OP posts:
MummyOfZog · 21/10/2020 16:17

Re the GD thing.... I also have that risk on my notes due to family member who, herself, had GD.

With my 1st pregnancy it was the same and risk was noted. It just meant I had a GTT glucose test at around 28 weeks (I didn't have GD, which I wasn't surprised about). Other than that, no one ever mentioned it and it didn't impact a single thing regarding my care or my birth choices. Don't worry about it, honestly.

mintich · 21/10/2020 16:22

Seems like the referral is due to the mention of drugs. I have anxiety and have never been referred

Heyahun · 21/10/2020 16:46

you shouldn't have mentioned you ever took drugs to be honest - I didn;t - I have used drugs recreationally in the past like twice a year or something at a festival!

My midwife said answer no to all questions unless you have had an actual problem - like anxiety/depression you only answer yes if you have actually been on medication.

So I took that as the drug question meant you only answer yes if you have had a problem in the past or use them now!

the diabetes thing isn't a big deal - surely once they test you for it and you don't have it then that problem goes away?

Your midwife sounds a bit harsh to be honest

Mine was really chill in comparison

Turtleturtle81 · 21/10/2020 16:55

My midwife asked me the drugs question. I said only occasionally about 18 years ago when I was a student and at a festival or somewhere like that. She said that that didn’t really count because otherwise she would have to tick the box for most women that walked through her doors. We both had a bit of a laugh about it and she moved into the next question.
It does sound like your midwife is being overly harsh.

MillieVanilla · 21/10/2020 17:06

You do know you can request a different midwife? Mine was an utter cow so I demanded a new one.
Do you think she may have referred you due to the ADHD as well? Some of them can't wait to tick a box and report to SS, the cowbag I had did so because she said "do you smoke" and I said, no, then she said have you ever and I said yes I used to in my teens (I was 27) . She then said to SS I was smoking in pregnancy and drinking large quantities of alcohol Shock
She was a loon though.
You have to be happy and confident when pregnant, she needs ditching now you have more than enough grounds to

MarvEll · 21/10/2020 17:23

Luckily a friend told me that I should lie in answer to the drugs question, otherwise I would have answered honestly - because what if it was medically relevant?! But a couple of recreational uses just doesn't warrant the whole social services input. It's such an outdated view on modern drug use and it gives a lot of women no option but to lie, otherwise we get demonised for something so commonplace these days. So stupid!

nathaliespace · 21/10/2020 17:23

@MillieVanilla I'll be seeing a different midwife every time anyway so it's more about saying I don't want here - i'd be uncomfortable having her for delivery as I now have zero trust!

I didn't mention ADHD as I couldn't see the relevance of that since it's not a mental health issue.

OP posts:
Laanie · 21/10/2020 18:05

How odd! The midwife in my booking appointment only asked if I had used anything since pregnant, drunk since pregnant etc. Nothing about general past.
The GD thing is not so bad, now with covid they don't want people to hang around so long so when I had mine I just had to fast for 12 hours prior, come in to have bloods taken and sent straight home. Didn't have to eat or drink anything after. If anything it's a nice little check for reassurance everything is ok.

AegonT · 21/10/2020 18:08

That sounds ridiculous. I said I hadn't used illegal drugs since university and the midwife said that's so common and she put never used drugs on the form.

I also have a grandparents with type 2 but was told only immediately family matters (parents/siblings).

TakeMeToYourLiar · 21/10/2020 18:16

Completely ridiculous

On a practical note, ask for an HBA1C test instead of a glucose tolerance. It gives a good idea if you have diabetes or not, and you don't have to consume sugar to do it,

OverTheRainbow88 · 21/10/2020 18:21

Mine asked if I smoked and I said no ( which I don’t) then pulled out something and said she need to test my CO2 levels... so I obliged.

When I mentioned this to friends no one else has had that!!!

Pumpertrumper · 21/10/2020 18:21

The thing you need to realise about midwives OP is whilst they are there to care for you they are also there to safeguard your baby.

If they think you, in anyway, pose a threat to your baby they will prioritise that over what you think/want them to do.

I’m sorry it was so difficult. I admired to a teenage eating disorder and that wasn’t great for me either.

MyNameForToday1980 · 21/10/2020 18:57

Like @AegonT I said not since university (which was approx. 16 years prior) and the MW ticked 'no' for me.

MyNameForToday1980 · 21/10/2020 18:59

@AegonT I lived in a relatively run down bit of South London, I wonder if that bore into consideration, that someone who took some pills aged 19, and was pregnant aged 36 was the least of their concerns.

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