Advice needed-the father wants nothing to do with the baby

[Tracy245]

I need some advice as my head is in a complete spin. Im only 4 weeks pregnant and it came as a result of a very short relationship that has ended. Ive have discussed this with the father and he has said if i keep the baby he wants nothing to do with it so i would be doing this on my own. He has asked me to have an abortion and has said if i choose to do that he will support me through it. I really dont know what to do. Im 34 and i do have some health issues that have caused me to miscarry in the past and part of me feels like i have to give this pregnancy a chance but im scared to do this alone and i dont know what to do

Do you want a baby? If so and you think you can cope, then the decision is entirely up to you. He gets no say. He may not want anything to do with the potential child, but he will still be obligated to pay towards its keep.

Do you want to bring up the child as a single parent? I would also consider the effect on a child of knowing a parent didn't want them.

As others have said , it’s just down to whether you’d like a child as a single parent. Maybe try and imagine each scenario and see if either makes you feel disappointed. Would you like to have a child? I’m sorry that it’s a stressful situation. Xx

Do what is right for YOU! Only terminate the pregnancy if it is something you want to do without the fathers influence.

I know someone who made their partner get an abortion early on because he didn't want a baby ( they were young but she wanted the child) . After she did they broke up but she was unable to conceive again ( developed complications after the abortion) . He went on to have 2 children with someone else. She did not get that chance.

You don't know what the future will hold with this person from a Short term relationship so sacrificing your happiness for his short term satisfaction will be a mistake. Do you have support from a friend or a relative? As he has told you now before the baby is born, it means you can plan ahead for his absence. This isn't a nice situation at all, but if keeping your baby is what you want to do then You Can Do It! :) . If it was me I'd tell him "Cya! Don't come back !" And if I felt my child needed a male figure, i'd ask a friend or relative to act as support for little one (a Godfather maybe).

Make the right choice for YOU and little one :)

I was in your exact same situation about 8 years ago. He stopped talking to me at 6 weeks and went no contact. I had the baby alone. I've raised the child alone. He has never agreed to even see her. Child is beautiful, empathic and top of their class. Knows they don't have a daddy and others do, and that's that. I won't lie, it's been incredibly hard. I've worked full time throughout. Had virtually no support from others either. It's do-able. I don't regret it.

Thanks everyone. I know i would have support from family and friends but its not the same as having my babies father in his or her life. I dont know if im strong enough to do it alone. I have always wanted to be a mam but this isnt exactly how i imagined it would happen. I am glad i have found out im pregnant so early as it means i have a bit longer to make a choice as i just keep going back and forth

Oh how gracious that he’ll “support” you through a termination which suits him, but won’t offer any support for a baby which he was 50% responsible for making..... I’d tell him where to stick his resort.

Really you just need to decide, excluding him entirely, how you feel about the baby. If you want it and are able to do it alone, then keep it.