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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Body changes post birth, give me the unfiltered truth please!

45 replies

curiouscat1987 · 18/10/2020 11:08

I appreciate that to some, especially those struggling to have a child, this might well sound superficial and shallow, but that said I really just want to know what to expect so I can prepare myself for it!

I'm particularly trying to find out about permanent changes to the vajayjay after birth, and what affect this has on your enjoymentof sex afterwards. Obviously in the short term there'll be changes, but I cant find much info on whether the changes are usually permanent or not - everything just says 'kegel exercises can help with this', but no indication as to how much it will help and what a reasonable expectation would be in terms of total recovery!

Everyones different of course but id like a rough idea of what to expect - will it be permanently 'looser'(for want of a better word!), and will sex likely be not as good from then on? Or does it generally eventually return to pretty much normal?

Please give me the brutal truth!

OP posts:

CarolVordermansBum · 18/10/2020 12:44

My good friend is a GP, and she told me women who need stitches after birth can often end up tighter than before giving birth as scar tissue isn't stretchy like normal vaginal tissue. She said she sees lots of mothers who have pain with intercourse, painful smears, trouble inserting tampons etc. She said she gets 10x more new mothers come to her complaining things are too tight after healing than she gets patients worried things are too loose.

I've had four vaginal births, never had stitches, and everything is good. Sex is still great too :)

Good luck OP

physicskate · 18/10/2020 12:46

Forceps and episiotomy.

Things not as they were. I breastfed until 15 months. Sex wasn't enjoyable until at least 6 months post partum. It wasn't painful either, just felt loose and weird. Still feels loose and I prefer different positions than before pregnancy.

Only had sex about 10 times in the 17 months after the birth. One hit wonder got pregnant having sex once in that cycle (after dd was concieved after ivf and years of infertility).

Currently 16 weeks pregnant. Not had sex since pregnancy. Dh feels weird about it and I feel self conscious. Plus we're exhausted...

After the birth I didn't have control of my bowels for a bit. That wasn't expected. But it got better. Mostly it was due to a blockage and followed by extreme constipation. But it's fine now. Took a good few months (3/4) to go back to normal.

Boobs definitely saggier. Not really bigger though. They say it can take some time after breastfeeding for awhile for fat stores to be restore for them to 'plump up' again... hoping that's true! Planning on breastfeeding this one for 6 months only!

Bramblecrumble · 18/10/2020 12:53

I had a vaginal birth and an episiotomy. The midwife took her time to stitch up properly. I said, can I breastfeed, she said this is more important right now. No uninary inconvenience at all. I was expecting needing to go to the loo more regularly/urgently as relitaves who are mother's have told me this, but my bladder is still stronger than my dh. After my scar visably healed it was painful further up my vagina when we tried Sex
But it was back to normal 6 months later, if not slightly sooner.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 18/10/2020 12:57

I have a big scar across my perineum and up into one butt cheek from my episiotomy which sometimes smarts during my period, but I haven't personally noticed any changes to sex. I'm definitely no "looser" down there and there hasn't been any changes to my sexual feeling or function. Of course I hardly ever have sex because of having 2 young kids, but that's another story. Apart from that my hips and ribs are permanently wider, so even though I've returned to my pre-pregnacy weight a few of my clothes still don't fit well. My breast are different sizes and shapes, both compared to how they were before and compared to each other. I'm a B cup on one side and a D cup on the other. I'm pretty sure that's because I'm still breastfeeding though and only produce milk from one side. They might go back to normal when I stop. Oh and I have haemorrhoids (sp?) from my first labour that just refuse to go away. Other changes - my eye sight changed a bit, I needed a new prescription for my glasses. And my hair changed, the curl got much looser. Apart from the scar and the haemorrhoids I don't have any problems though, my body looks a bit different but medically speaking its in as good working order as it was before.

Itllbeaninterestingchristmas · 18/10/2020 12:57

Emcs numb scar area and very very painful orgasms for months. Also continence issues
VBAC with episiotomy slight twinges from the scar but it’s only been 8 weeks. Sex is fine so is everything else
God knows what my breast will look like at the end of bf though

AegonT · 18/10/2020 14:43

I've had one vaginal birth (ventouse with episiotomy) and I'm pregnant with my second now. I was 30 with my first and I'm 36 now.

My vagina seems to be back to normal except for thickening of the skin where the episiotomy scar is. This doesn't bother me or interfere with sex. I've yet to ask what it will mean in my next birth.

I put on too much weight in my first pregnancy and was a bit overweight before it too. It wasn't quick but I got to a healthy weight after - less than I weighed before pregnancy. I had stretch marks on my legs and stomach but they disappeared after. My stomach looks normal and once I lost the weight was flat.

My boobs went up two cup sizes at the end of pregnancy and start of breastfeeding. They were definitely more saggy after.

Movinghousewoes99 · 18/10/2020 17:12

@firesong

Those who had wider rib cages, did that not go away after a year or so? Mine was wider too but went back. I remember three years after my eldest was born I thought I looked better than pre baby, weirdly. Now I'm 40 and I guess things are getting less youthful, but wouldn't especially blame childbirth.

Nope. 6 years later definitely long term. I had a huge baby though so perhaps it was more noticeable than others.

Disappointedkoala · 18/10/2020 17:44

Probably slightly wider than pre baby but nothing you'd hugely notice. I don't look any different in a bikini than I did before. No stretch marks.

Episiotomy and forceps did leave a painful scar that I struggle with but no real problems having sex once I was ready to get back to it. Can't have intercourse more than once a day though as I discovered on a mucky weekend away! Ouch!

Trinpy · 18/10/2020 18:07

I had 2 vaginal births with second degree tear and stitches in the first and very small unsutured graze in the second. Both babies on the bigger side and I breastfed until 1 year old with both.

Everything feels pretty much as before down there. Boobs are smaller and rib cage slightly bigger, although I don't mind this too much as I had big boobs/small ribcage pre kids. Loads of stretch marks on my tummy, thighs and calves (from pregnancy weight gain) but I'm prone to stretch mark's anyway. Tummy had to be tucked into my waistband like a shirt for a few years after my second baby but with lots of exercise it's improved. Pelvic floor is fine. I didnt start having sex again until 6 weeks pp and it was fine and didnt hurt at all, though breastfeeding definitely lowered my sex drive. Having small kids glued to you all day also doesn't help you feel particularly sexy ime!

Blissfulignorance · 18/10/2020 18:20

Episiotomy here with lots of stitches, once fully healed I can honestly say sex is better than before! DH said it feels the same if not better too.
Boobs are now spaniels ears, and pelvic floor is only an issue if I really need a wee and sneeze.

Original poster

curiouscat1987 · 19/10/2020 13:38

Thanks everyone for your responses, it's good to hear that a lot of people havent noticed any permanent changes to the vajayjay, and interesting to know about the ribcage thing, I hadn't heard that before!

OP posts:

Gumbo · 20/10/2020 10:53

firesong

Nope. 6 years later definitely long term.

Yup - same here, DC now 15 so I doubt my rib cage will get any smaller any time soon

Sanch1 · 20/10/2020 11:40

My vagina was looser for a little while I felt but not permanent. My boobs are saggier post breast feeding but the rest of me went back to 'normal' not that I had a supermodel body to start with! On no.3 now so we'll see what happens after that!

allfurcoatnoknickers · 21/10/2020 02:28

Basically the same, but I never got around to losing the last 5lbs (DS is 16 months) because of laziness.

I had an ELCS, but my stomach is as it was before - no overhang and you can barely see the scar. Boobs basically the same - maybe slightly more sag?

I do have cellulite now, which I didn't have before. And a bigger bum. I think that's about it.

Suzi888 · 21/10/2020 02:34

C section. Just less toned, but I don’t do any exercise. I used to do spin, kickboxing, gym sessions 3-5 times a week. Going to start exercising again shortly, as she’s started school.

soffiee · 21/10/2020 02:43

I've had vaginal birth with episiotomy and my vajajay is back to normal (DH insists it feels the same). The only change I have on my body is lopsided boob because my little mister insisted on feeding on left boob only as my right boob made him gag (right boob has a bigger nipple) and now I have one fairly large left boob and one tiny right boob. Sex is off the table as I'm still breastfeeding and it's making me see DH as a mate not a lover though.

LandMammal · 21/10/2020 14:15

2 vaginal births, stitched up twice (2nd then 1st degree).
I'm very sporty (or I was pre-kids!!) and found my pelvic floor never to be rhe same again :-( I've had help and worked hard on it to become manageable again and I think if I didn't participate in sports then I wouldn't see PF as being an issue, but running more than 5km and impact sports is not the same. Just as well cycling is my passion and not running!!
Pelvic health support and info should be more of a priority in this country.

PolarBearStrength · 21/10/2020 14:58

I had a c section in labour. No changes to my vagina at all that I’ve noticed. My pelvic floor is absolutely fine, and even now at 38 weeks pregnant with my second I could jump on a trampoline (and did the other week) without wetting myself. I had a tiny bit of extra tissue (fat? Scar tissue?) above one side of my scar but pretty much went back to having a flat stomach. Scar faded into almost nothing. My boobs got massive and then shrunk and they’re not quite as perky as they used to be, but it’s nothing a decent bra can’t fix. I was always a 26-28 (bra) band pre-pregnancy but I’d say I was more like a 30 after pregnancy. My shape isn’t quite the same as it used to be. My weight always used to go to my boobs and my bum, and I always had a tiny waist. I don’t think I’ll ever get back to a 23 inch waist now but I did find it fairly easy to get back into my normal size 8-10 clothes. This second pregnancy has given me mega cellulite but I’m hoping it might get better with time!

jessstan1 · 21/10/2020 15:01

I've only had one child so maybe not the best person to ask but I would say mine went back to normal after a short while. I did have a small episiotomy, I don't know how relevant that is (probably not at all). My boobs virtually disappeared after I stopped feeding, they were like over-ripe plumbs, but later on came back and my figure was quite good.

workshy44 · 21/10/2020 15:05

Most people I know would have noticed changes to their vaginas, so am v surprised to read that no one here notices any. Maybe they just had larger babies
I do think it is something most people don't want to admit to, even to themselves.. but of course could be wrong on that.
It doesn't mean it is drastically different but yeah every one of my friends would say no it doesn't feel exactly the same and it does look different
I know someone who had to have an operation as she couldn't feel a thing after two large babies. I do think it is something that is not talked about and dismissed by medical professionals

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