When are you planning to let extended family and friends hold new baby?

[MariaDingbat]

I'm due at the start of December and with the increase in Covid cases, I'm a bit worried about exposing a newborn to new people too soon in case they get sick. It's my first so I don't know if I'm being paranoid or sensible given the current circumstances. I'd love to hear how other new mums have handled introducing their newborn to extended family and friends in a pandemic or are planning to.

In due at the end of December and have been wondering the same - would be interested to see what others think too! At the moment I don’t really have a plan.

I have a 9 week old and I’m happy to let the small number of family and friends we’re seeing hold her, as long as they’re feeling well and have washed their hands etc. No kisses but plenty of cuddles. That said everyone we’ve seen isn’t going out - (5 or so friends/siblings all of whom are child free and wfh, plus retired grandparents).

It’s not for everyone and I wouldn’t criticise anyone who is keeping their new DC with them for now, but I’ve weighed up the benefit of building relationships against the generally low risk of the people we’re mixing with and the very very low instance of babies even contracting/suffering with Covid and this works for our family. The greatest risk in reality is to the grandparents, which is why we didn’t do introductions until I’d been out of hospital for 10 days - until that point I was definitely the most ‘risky’ person to mix with, having had an inpatient stay and mixed with HCPs.

I’m due January and will be letting my parents hold baby straight away as we are in a childcare bubble with them for our 2yr old. With others I’m going to decide at the time depending on each persons circumstances as I know my sis and her husband are working from home and aren’t going out (her boyfriend is very worried about the virus) so will probably let them hold baby, but another family member who I know is still going out to work in public facing role and still socialising with friends won’t be allowed to.

My baby was born in early June. I waited until 9 weeks until I let family hold my baby. This was high summer, cases had dropped, school was on holiday (teachers in family) and everyone wore masks. Only close family have held her so far.
Before this we let family take her for walks in the pram so they got the face to face time.
Ultimately it's about what you're comfortable with. Some people may think we were extreme, others may think we weren't strict enough.

My baby was born in May this year, so in first lockdown.
We have let a select few people hold and play with him.
Basically our nearest and dearest who we know have been limiting their own contact so are just as much risk to him as we are ( dh and I still go to the shops with him etc, but work from home).

And these few have really helped us the last few months by coming over to hold him or play an hour whilst dh and I rested, or came and delivered us food etc when first born. Our next door neighbour now takes him for a walk around the block a couple of times per week for us and that 30 mins at 4-5pm is a lifesaver for me when dh is still in meetings and baby hasn’t wanted to be put down all day. It gives me time to sit quietly or get a few things down sans Baby.

We are living overseas right now. So no family here. We are in a fairly low rate country Covid wise right now, and we live rurally.

Covid will continue at least another year (IMO). I feel it will be more detrimental to baby ( and our health) if we have no contact with anyone for 12-18 months.

I’m wondering this- due in just under 3 wks. My sister niece and nephew will visit- not sure whether to say they have to wear masks (they would happily)- but then my 3 yr old will still go to nursery, my husband still goes to work so is that pointless

Cases are rapidly rising. I’m due November and in tier 2. My sis is bubbling with us and my mum is going to self isolate (sod the rules, I will need my mum!) but extended family won’t be visiting nor will friends if things carry on worsening. Not prepared to put a vulnerable newborn at risk.

I'm due in Feb and will allow grandparents to hold from the first time they see the baby - the risk is much greater to them than the baby and also my parents are our childcare bubble and will have DS while I'm in labour. If DS is still going to nursery then - which I really, really hope he is - then I think he's by far the greatest 'risk' to baby, and even then I'm more worried about him giving baby one of loads of other common childhood illnesses when they're a newborn (it's one of the reasons we had DS vaccinated against chickenpox) rather than Covid specifically. The next greatest risk is definitely DH (school teacher). I can imagine I'd feel differently if it were my first and DH and I could cocoon otherwise, though, as then it would feel much more like consciously introducing risks that wouldn't otherwise be there.

I'm due beginning of December too & still in 2 minds. On the 1 hand I have been WFH since 28 weeks but still go to the supermarkets, restaurants etc and my DP is still going to work and will continue to do so until DS is born. Both of our mums work and so do our brothers and DP sister so they wont have been able self isolate prior to DS birth. I would always say no kissing or touching babys face or hands when they are new born regardless or COVID and washing hands is a must but I'm not sure if asking them to wear a mask is too much. As we are in a tier 3 area any extended family and friends will either have to just wait or we will see what the risk is at the time I think.

Had a baby at summer grandparents and my sister/BIL held baby when they visited over the first couple of days (very sensible about where they had been, hand washing, clean clothes, no symptoms etc) after about 6 weeks a couple of close friends have visited and had cuddles with usual newborn precautions. Biggest risk to baby is probably DC1 who is in nursery and we have beee going to one baby group a week which has been beneficial for my head! My worry is when I think back to my first all the places and people DC1 had been by this point and the exposure to the normal pathogens that build an immune system I do wonder if the sterile environment babies are in at the minute may store up issues for down the line?! Or maybe I’m overthinking it! Find a balance and stick to what you are comfortable with, I have a colleague who had a baby a week after me and they have still barely left the house and she makes people wear masks and have temp checks it’s whatever makes you feel safe, however this is now also having a negative impact on her mental health so she is easing up so this doesn’t become a bigger risk to her and her child.

Im in super early stages but we've already discussed this and will be asking our parents to quarantine themselves for 2 weeks before the expected birth if they want to see and hold them, and even then probablywith masks on only. If they dont want to thats their choice of course but we wont be risking it. Other family will not be allowed to hold or get at all close because theyre all higher risk for catching it.

That said, we've been super cautious throughout the pandemic so its not like we're changing our behaviour!

Thanks everyone, it's good to know I'm not the only person worried about this. It's a really difficult one to guage at the moment. My instinct is to quarantine as a family for 2 weeks after the birth to make sure we didn't pick anything up in hospital (as much for others as ourselves) then outdoor visits to grandparents / aunts / friends etc.. but no holding the baby till after they have their first round of vaccinations. But we have Christmas 3 weeks after they arrive and I'm really unsure of what to do for that.

I gave birth in late April and allowed close friends and family to hold baby since they met, so baby would have been around 2 weeks. I know it is about reducing exposure etc but DP was back at work, my toddler was back socialising (social distance playdates, but 2 year olds are incredibly bad at that) so it's a choice we made.

My very good friend is due any day now and is waiting for after immunisations which I understand. Do what you feel is right, most people will understand.

Who knows what the restrictions will be by Christmas? People can come round @MariaDingbat but you don’t have to pass the baby round like pre-covid where everyone gets a cuddle.

DD2 was born in early July as things were relaxing. Both sets of grandparents came the day after we got out of hospital and all had a cuddle. As others have said, the risk to them from seeing us was higher than the risk to us. They weren't doing much but we had been in hospital and had DD1 back at nursery.

We had a few close friends to visit, as it happened the baby slept through their visits but I would've been fine with them holding her.

Not sure what the first vaccinations have to do with covid?

I asked at one of my antenatal appointments and was told just to follow the general guidelines, no need to do anything different as babies are so low risk.

I asked my midwife for advice on this (I'm due in 2 weeks) and she said to isolate for 2 weeks post-delivery just in case I've caught anything and then until vaccinations at 8 weeks, she'd suggest anyone outside the household/support bubble who holds the baby wears a mask. Just because cases are rising and so is winter flu/coughs and colds so may as well be careful and getting a bad cold when recovering from a c-section would make me feel grim. Which I think sounds fair enough!

I also don't understand the relevance of the vaccinations if the concern is Covid? I know some people are more cautious about having babies out and about in general before their jabs but that's not specific to the current circumstances.

@Hardbackwriter I think the concern is that anything the baby picks up before vaccinations will be more likely to require hospitalisation for treatment than after. This includes COVID, but also normal colds and flu. My midwife said to take advantage of the fact we could ask people to wear masks to give the baby added protection from cold and flu season, which he will be born in the middle of. It seems sensible to me, but my family are all in Tier 2/3 lockdown cities, so it’s not like they’ll be popping round every day.

But why would a cold, or Covid, be less severe after a vaccine for something totally unrelated? Is it just that if you wait until vaccine time they're no longer so tiny so the risk is lower? That makes sense and I guess the vaccines are a handy (if arbitrary) milestone to use.

I’m due in 2 weeks and am really struggling with this one! As a family (me and OH), we can’t isolate for 2 weeks before delivery. Baby could come any time really between 37 and 42 weeks and I don’t want me partner taking all his holiday before baby comes.
Also, we both have large immediate families, lots of siblings! They all have jobs and we can’t ask them to isolate for all that time either!