Pregnant with second! Help v scared

[LLLTB]

Hi I'm 8 or 9dpo and I have had 4 faint positive tests. This was unplanned, and I took the Ella one morning after pill but obviously it didn't work. I already have a almost 2 year old DD and she is a real handful. I'm seriously panicking how I would cope. I still breastfeed and I co sleep DD is pretty reliant on me to get her to sleep I can't leave the room without her screaming for me.

I've been Googling other netmums post To try and make myself feel better but after a difficult evening getting my daughter to bed I now find myself searching abortions!

I'm so so scared and I already suffer from bad anxiety I feel like one minute I'm excited then the next a big wave comes over me and I feel sick with worry.

Oh bless you. Do you have anyone to talk to?

I’m in a different position worrying about a large gap but one thing I know is that children develop ALOT in 9 months so the situation will be miles ahead by then.

My husband is very supportive tbh he's great. But he works so after 1 month off he will go back to work and I'm just terrified.
I don't have anyone else at the moment as it's so early only we know. Yes 9 months is a long time and suppose my daughter could change, she's just so strong willed and stubborn. I want to be excited but the anxiety is just taking over all joy

I just want to say I hope you are ok and hear if you want to chat....I’m in a very similar situation as you at the moment, you aren’t alone. I have 3 already and just a week ago found out I’m pregnant unexpectedly, my youngest baby is only 10months....i also have a 2 year old and 7 year old.... For me it’s not the worry of another child though but another birth...I have csections and was advised not to have anymore (already had 3) so I’m petrified if I continue something will happen and I’ll leave my babies with no mum. I can’t shake it off...I’ve even seen a consultant this week who tried to reassure me....I think we may be feeling like this as it’s a shock 🤷‍♀️ X

@Mummyto3GBG

I just want to say I hope you are ok and hear if you want to chat....I’m in a very similar situation as you at the moment, you aren’t alone. I have 3 already and just a week ago found out I’m pregnant unexpectedly, my youngest baby is only 10months....i also have a 2 year old and 7 year old.... For me it’s not the worry of another child though but another birth...I have csections and was advised not to have anymore (already had 3) so I’m petrified if I continue something will happen and I’ll leave my babies with no mum. I can’t shake it off...I’ve even seen a consultant this week who tried to reassure me....I think we may be feeling like this as it’s a shock 🤷‍♀️ X

It's definitely a shock I'm so scared of how I'll cope with two. I wouldn't worry about that too much I'm sure there are plenty of woman that have had lots of csections but I understand your worry. I'm sure we'll get use to the idea soon enough ☺️ I'd love to chat also I don't have anyone other than my husband to talk to at the min. It's nice to have other women that understand the body changes and hormones rushing around

You will honestly be fine with 2, try not to worry, I have 3 and it’s mad at times but you just get into a routine. I also had 2 under 2 and well now I’m pregnant I might have 3 under 3...they’re only young for such a short time so although it’s hard at the beginning, the sleepless nights and them depending on you so much doesn’t last long. How are you feeling today? xxx

@Mummyto3GBG

You will honestly be fine with 2, try not to worry, I have 3 and it’s mad at times but you just get into a routine. I also had 2 under 2 and well now I’m pregnant I might have 3 under 3...they’re only young for such a short time so although it’s hard at the beginning, the sleepless nights and them depending on you so much doesn’t last long. How are you feeling today? xxx

Yes that's very true, I'm feeling much better and feel more excited about it now. Helps that my daughter has gone back to her happy bubbly self as we had a rough week with tantrums and not sleeping properly.

How about you is the shock wearing off abit more?

Aw I’m glad your feeling a little better about it all and your daughter is back to her usual self. Yeah the shock is wearing off a little now, I have good hours and bad hours....I’m still scared I’m going to have one of the rare complications that come with the more repeated csections you have though but I’ve also come across women who have had 4 sections and been absolutely fine. I think because my other 3 were planned I was just excited and didn’t even worry about these things but this time as it wasn’t planned and I’d been told the risks increase after 3, I’ve googled every complication possible and convinced myself I’m going to get them all and die...I do get ahead of myself though and think the worse case scenario so hopefully I’m just being irrational x

I'm not sure it feels real yet but I'm getting use to the idea. Google can be great or it can make you go into worry overload. Just take one day at a time ☺️

Hey mummyto3gbg was just wondering how you are feeling?

You will be ok! Mine was the same age when I was first pregnant and I had similar worries. I'm due in a few weeks and think everything will be fine now. In that time she weaned which was unthinkable before, I think milk dried up part way through which made it very easy and she wasn't upset at all. Just gradually reduced day feeds and one day I said we weren't doing night feeds and she accepted it quite happily whereas she'd fed to sleep until that stage. I do sit with her though while she goes to sleep. DH has a couple of times managed to have her fall asleep on his lap in front of tv which isn't ideal but is fine for if I'm in hospital. She had first thing in morning feeds for a little while but I was worried colostrum was affecting her tummy so one day said we weren't doing that anymore and she could have milk in a cup and she was quite happy.

It was tricky as first part of pregnancy was in lockdown but over last few months we have seen grandparents more often, at first outside, then indoors and now outside again and she is used to them and happy for them to look after her. I had to attend a hospital appointment at a time my DH couldn't get home from work to watch her and they looked after her for me and she didn't bat an eyelid about me going, so if we do need emergency childcare in labour I'm confident she'll be ok with them. DH has also spent more time with her (I am SAHM at the moment until next baby a bit older so with her all the time)

Before this she was very attached and fed every two hours day or night so I'm very happily surprised how she's adjusting so far

OP don't forget things will be very different in almost a year's time! Your almost 2 year old will be an almost 3 year old! I presume you won't be breastfeeding any more by then? Which may well change the co-sleeping thing. Regardless, she'll be so much more independent by then, and her language will have come on a lot so the stubbornness will probably reduce and you'll likely find her a bit easier to manage.

Yes you are right it's just so hard to not worry about it all. Since I posted my daughter has dropped night feed (breastfeeding to sleep) she shocked me because she's been so good and just asks for a cuddle now.

No advice but I just wanted to say you sound like such a wonderful mum to your daughter. I bet you’ll be fabulous with two😊

Thank you so much that's a lovely thing to say. 💕

Hope you’re ok OP. They change so much around that age. I found 18 months to 3 so hard with my daughter, but things changed so much around 3, and now she’s 4 and everything is so much easier. I have an 18 month old DS who is just entering that phase, but it doesn’t feel as bad this time, I guess because I know it will improve! I think it’s so hard with small age gaps in the early years (I have a newborn too!), but then when they get a little older and can play together it’s then a bit easier as they can entertain each other a bit (this is what I tell myself anyway, no one burst my bubble please!!) You 100% need to do what’s right for you though, it’s still really early and you’ve got time to think about options, hope you have someone in real life to talk to as well x

I'm feel a little better now, the shock is subsiding. I know I don't want an abortion Thinking about that just makes me sad. I am nervous but I'm sure I'll be okay with two, plenty of people do it and get through it 😂