First baby worries

[MamaToBeOMG]

Hi so this is my first baby am currently 22 wks and im overly worried about child birth and how i will cope for this reason i may request a planned c section is it normal to get so anxious thinking about labour may i add ive a heart murmmur too. Any one with experience on this or any advice please x

Should also mention ive no one to help me afterwards if i do have or need a c section x

It's normal to be nervous with your first, it's a total unknown. I don't think they will give you a c section for nerves though. Do you have a partner? I would mention your worries to your midwife, and maybe look at some classes, I'm sure NCT are doing online classes. They really helped me relax about labour and birth

Hypnobirthing by the positive birth company may help you feel more in control.

@peachypetite

Hypnobirthing by the positive birth company may help you feel more in control.

I second this - I was so nervous I could barely think about it but I bought the online package and it totally turned it around for me.

Now have an 8 month old and I had not what you'd call an easy birth but I loved every second of it!

You'll be grand.

Speak to your midwife now. There will be support available and they will advise about your heart murmur and any implications. Whatever you end up doing i would also recommend hypnobirthing. I have anxiety and depression and I had a fantastic labour which I attribute to the positive birth company. They have lots of free resources on YouTube and Instagram if you can't purchase the course but they also do deals regularly so keep an eye out.

you dint want a c section if you don't need one as its a much longer recovery. Its usual to worry but stress is not good for pregnancy....try and find something else to focus in like cute baby clothes!

Ok so thanks all for the help an suggestions and yeah i think il look into hypnobirthing but will have to try the free stuff have any of you ever had a water birth and whats your experiences on this x

I would look into hypnobirthing for techniques on staying calm and in control and not panicking when you’re not in control!
It’s fine if you have to end up having a caesarean but I wouldn’t plan to have one unless it’s absolutely necessary. My sister had three c sections and she wasn’t allowed to lift the baby for a few weeks after each, or a kettle or any other small weight. Instead she had to have someone place the baby in her arms for a little while. This would be tricky on your own (although obviously mothers find a way). There are other benefits to a vaginal birth for the baby such as greater immunity for the baby. Also for you because a c section is major surgery which will take some time to recover from.

I’ve been reading the positive birth book.
I’ve not had my baby yet, but it’s made me feel more confident that I know more about what labour might be like, so I feel like I can prepare myself in advance.

I remember being so scared too! I'm due tomorrow with my second too, I'm feeling alot better about it this time but I occasionally stop and have that feeling of dread like oh my God i have to give birth. I wish I did more research on like positive birthing or hypno birthing. But I remember that luckily for me it wasnt too bad, I was induced and ended up having an epidural. It's weird I only remember the highs now. Like the midwifes making me and laugh and being really caring and me seeing her all squishy and a bit purple for the first time Haha. I would recommend also not having too much of a strict birthing plan. I have anxiety and I find temporary relief in controlling as much as I can around me. But then if things dont go to plan it makes me more anxious. So just plan where you want to be, hospital or home and speak to your partner about anything you might be concerned about so they can support you and the midwifes when its happening.
Good luck OP, half way there! So exciting x

You can request an elective c section if that is what is best for you. My friend did this and was happy with her decision. I think that different things are right for different people.
I also wanted to mention that when I was in my second trimester I had a period of time where I felt extremely,debilitatingly anxious about pregnancy including giving birth. I remember waking up in sheer panic thinking ‘how on earth am I going to do this?’ and googling elective c-sections. Now I’m 36 weeks I feel so much calmer even though I
am now closer to D-day! I think that Hotmail changes in the second trimester made me incredibly anxious and that levelled our later on. So it could be that your fear subsides a bit as you go through your pregnancy.
I also think that as you get nearer to the end you do develop a bit of a ‘let it be over with!’ mentality so you feel more keen to give birth. Although get back to me when I get my first go reaction and I might change my tune.😂
Definitely speak to your midwife about this.

Hormonal, not hotmail.

My second was a waterbirth. First I used the pool as it helped with the pain but got out to deliver and second the baby came too fast so had to stay in. I never intended to be jn the water at all but my contractions were bad and didn't want drugs. It really helped. I preferred being out of the water for the pushing part and giving birth as you can change positions more easily and the baby is straight onto you rather than faffing to get out and being all wet!